Newsweek Publishes Working Women Fantasy Cover, Forgets to Pick a Safe Word
This week’s Newsweek cover titillates with a blindfolded woman under the caption “Why Surrender is a Feminist Dream.” The ‘return of the submissive woman’ really doesn’t make any sense at all to many Christians.
It is hard to believe that ‘women want to be submissive’ when a well-made pair of thigh high boots with matching riding crop is on a three month backorder. One should be able to find a great sale if women really were suddenly embracing submissiveness. Really, does Newsweek’s Katie Roiphe think Christian women are that gullible? Apparently Miss Katie Roiphe thinks Christian women are just aching for bad prose and hipster talking lovers.
In fact, if I were a member of the Christian right, sitting on my front porch decrying the decadent morals of working American women, what would be most alarming about the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena, what gives it its true edge of desperation, and end-of-the-world ambience, is that millions of otherwise intelligent women are willing to tolerate prose on this level. If you are willing to slog through sentences like “In spite of my poignant sadness, I laugh,” or “My world is crumbling around me into a sterile pile of ashes, all my hopes and dreams cruelly dashed,” you must really, really, want to get to the submissive sex scene. – “Working Women’s Fantasies”, by Katie Roiphe, Newsweek
(Thanks for the shout out, Katie Roiphe, but Christian women have more to think about than everyone else’s sin.)
Miss Roiphe is only partially correct. There are much better examples of domination / submissive literature and erotic films than those she cites like The Story of O and Girls on HBO. The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, written by Anne Rice under the name A. N. Roquelaure, has a far higher prose value than 50 Shades of Grey. (Personally, I couldn’t get past the second chapter on 50 Shades. The dialogue was just so brainless).
If you want a read-it-out-loud-to-your-ball-gagged-lover level of prose, many recommend Anaïs Nin’s work Little Birds and Delta of Venus. Of course it goes without saying that memorized verses from Song of Solomon, whispered deep and husky against the belly skin, is always a well-played intellectual game of Madonna and Whore for husbands raised in the Church and fond of Catholic uniforms.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (KJV) Solomon 2:3
Mainstream or even scriptural erotic fantasy is not reality. If it were reality, it wouldn’t be fantasy. Sure it might be fun to role play a little fantasy here and there, but at some point the Husband isn’t going to do something quite right and then you have to stop and tell him exactly what puts air in the tires or endure having your toes covered in peanut butter. That might be great for the cuticles, but the dog will dig your socks out of the laundry. The point is it takes trust and knowledge to make a fantasy work. One won’t always get the dry spot in the conjugal bed, unless one knows how to lead by following.
Being Submissive isn’t about Powerlessness
Mister and I watched that movie “Nine and a Half Weeks” decades ago. I may have even read the novella it is based on. The first part looked pretty fun, all food and blindfolds, but I think the ‘submissive’ stuff became a darker fetishism toward the end as trust was lost. For those that have seen the film, remember by the time he demanded she start crawling to him the relationship was pretty much over. She called it off. I always thought in the end she was a little shaken by the understanding that she was always more in control than her OCD domineering lover with his array of grey sweaters. She could stop; he couldn’t help himself. It is a tragic tale of mismatched needs and mental illness amongst the unsaved.
“Secretary” is another interesting mainstream domination / submission movie, although it explores more of the empowering aspects of submission. The secretary, in the transitional scene of submission to empowerment, follows James Spader character’s instructions rather than marry a man she does not love. Once again, the submissive is in the decider’s position. If she was ‘just a submissive’ she wouldn’t stay at the desk for three days. She would just give in and marry the ‘sad loser man’ like mother wants or start cutting herself again. Spader is also empowered by the secretary’s willful submission and they marry. What Newsweek forgets in their cover story is the submissive is really the one with all the power. This is probably more evident when a man is the submissive.
We’ve all seen these men on those Sicko Profiles of Week shows on TLC. The diaper wearing “I’m the Bay-Bay Boi” grown men are true submissives. I don’t know where these stupid women come from, but they will change his hairy bottomed diaper and even breast feed him. Looking at this arrangement, clearly the dude in the diaper is calling the shots.
Men should be very weary of using trending erotic literature topics to gage a woman’s desire. I’m sure Miss Katie Roiphe investigated these thoroughly, but a real live woman isn’t a statistic. If you asked me today what my fantasy was I would tell you I would like for my husband to take on a couple more wives like they did in the Bible. Of course this is only to help spring clean this house and get all the laundry done so I can finish projects without distraction.
Would that be my fantasy tomorrow? No. Do I want extra wives sleeping with my husband? Heck no. He doesn’t have enough love for all of us, but telling him so is a tickly feather to his brain. Tomorrow the fantasy might be to sneak over to the office because he’s working late and play dirty UPS lady. The point is this: relationships, our self-perceptions, limitations and abilities change overtime. For these things to work, a couple needs to deeply understand and be invested in each other’s wants.
I used to meet Mister at the door and bite the buttons off his dress shirt before spitting them out and slow riding him to Bethlehem like Joseph’s ass, but times change. When it takes both of us fifteen minutes of concentrated effort to thread a needle just to sew on a button because of age related sight problems, as a couple you make adjustments.
A lot of young people don’t appreciate this kind of shared marital wisdom during Christian couples retreats. Everybody just wants to learn more about spankings. The body might feel the sweet kiss of leather, but it still gets processed in the brain. Humans are the creatures with a brain as a sex organ, ignore that at your own peril.
If today’s modern women really desire a more submissive relationship, good for them. I’ll be waiting for the sales on thigh high boots and thinking about what to do next. It takes a lot of work to get to the point where a Christian couple can release all cares and responsibilities to each other and just drink in the moments we have together.
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Author: Blanche Beecham
"Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM
2:02 am
I have to agree with you about the confusing Newsweek headline, Blanche. Maybe Roiphe did this intentionally to get people to open up the magazine? It’s strange because even after reading your article it doesn’t make any sense. What are feminists surrendering? I thought these girls wanted more power? Well, maybe she just needs a good editor to clear up her prose somewhat.
As for Fifty Shades of Gray, I guess they’re trying to pull in the Ann Romney/Hilary Rosen thing into this. It’s funny how all that came back to bite the leftwingers on the butt. They just can’t seem to wrap their pretty little heads around the idea that women can chose to be mothers and that there’s something beautiful in motherhood. Weirdly enough, I think this dovetails into your thesis. For all their feminist intentions, liberals really don’t understand women at all.
Liberals seem to dismiss the idea of a feminine female sexuality. They want to define it for themselves and also throw gender rights and abortion in there. Sure, some ladies like the act of intercourse and some, as yourself, like to make married love an adventure. I see nothing wrong with that! (Personally, however, I’d prefer not to read any of those Ann Rice, Anne Nin novels you mention, Laughing out loud!)
It does sort of make me chuckle to think of these young men trying to get pointers on dating from these books as you mention. Everyone looks for shortcuts these days while showing no interest in the time -honored wisdom of the Good Book. As you say, “a real live woman isn’t a statistic.” God bless.
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2:11 am
“They just can’t seem to wrap their pretty little heads around the idea that women can chose to be mothers and that there’s something beautiful in motherhood.”
They can also choose to NOT be mothers and to do something other than pop out babies and clean up poop for several years.
“For all their feminist intentions, liberals really don’t understand women at all.”
Better to know a little and realize it than know nothing and not. Pedobillings, how often do you talk to women outside the internet, and your mother doesn’t count.
“Liberals seem to dismiss the idea of a feminine female sexuality.”
No, the idea is that women are equals to men, and should they want to pursue a dream, that there shouldn’t be anything stopping them.
“They want to define it for themselves and also throw gender rights and abortion in there.”
Because it shouldn’t be up to anyone but the woman and her husband when it comes to abortions, and as for gender rights, why shouldn’t women have the exact same rights as men?
“Sure, some ladies like the act of intercourse and some, as yourself, like to make married love an adventure. I see nothing wrong with that!”
Then stop trying to get people to follow only one way and one path, PERIOD.
“It does sort of make me chuckle to think of these young men trying to get pointers on dating from these books as you mention.”
Some, maybe, but to blindly blanket anyone or anything is nothing short of ignorance on your part.
“Everyone looks for shortcuts these days while showing no interest in the time -honored wisdom of the Good Book.”
Then why does that ‘good book’ have so many holes and flaws and contradictions when you try to use it as facts and use it to dictate how people live their lives?
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3:22 am
I’m not too fond of submissive women. I want a woman who is more than happy to put on some tight leather and isn’t afraid to go all out with a whip.
A dominatrix for lack of a better word
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4:42 am
TMI, Outorboroughts, TMI.
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9:39 am
You sure your homogay roommate isn’t influencing you? :]
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12:17 pm
Positive. I was like this before I was friends with my roommate
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12:48 pm
Ironically enough, MLP made me realize it for me.
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12:58 pm
I was like this before MLP as well.
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1:52 pm
I wouldn’t doubt it.
I just think it’s ironic that a show about friendship and love got me into it.
to be frank, it was a combination of Ask Lil Miss Rarity and Ask Pinkamena Diane Pie.
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1:56 pm
Lol, true…That is ironic…
I love Lil Miss Rarity, lately it’s gotten weird as hell though…I mean it always has been weird, but lately…
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4:48 pm
speaking of conversation, you wouldn’t happen to have a steam or skype or something along those lines, would you?
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4:51 pm
Afraid not on both Skype and Steam…I have neither
I don’t normally use any chat things
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6:08 pm
unfortunate, oh well…
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11:18 am
whips are fun, I prefer sharp ordnance and a sickening grin.
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8:30 pm
Whips are certainly a fun experience, but I have to agree that sharp things are Definately better…Weird how they be painful in two different ways
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9:16 pm
can’t forget about good, old fashioned blunt trauma. less mess with it, too
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10:56 am
Pfft! Ms Roiphe’s piece appears no more than a pile of half-baked twaddle knocked out for a few hundred bucks and the hope that the byline would buy a bit of relevance.
What’s her next scoop? An exclusive about how unhappy goth kids are into derivative dross like Black Veal Brides?
There’s nothing new here. As Blanche points out, women have been enjoying kinky little S&M potboilers for centuries.
When I fancy something a bit racy I opt for Penny Birch or the Marquis de Sade. I shan’t be reading this 50 Shades of Grey doggerel. After all, one does not go from reading Shakespeare to reading Stephenie Meyer.
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2:20 pm
Ugh! Stephanie Meyer! I must pause and spit.
Dear Miss Roiphe may well be a homosexual lesbian for as little knowledge she seems to possess regarding sexual dynamics. Where did this idea that submissiveness as powerlessness come from? Liberals have the oddest notions.
This whole business of compartmentalizing women’s preferences and true opinions is quickly becoming a fiasco for the liberals. I’m proud of Ann Romney for submitting to her husband’s opinion by speaking out.
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2:22 pm
Great work here. I saw that movie “secretary” three times. A disturbing tale about how women in the workplace whore it up and distract men from contributing to the bottom line and therefore causing the recession. Don’t think I don’t see you women wearing scrubs with garter belts and thigh high stockings underneath.
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6:28 pm
Only the slovenly or those in the medical field should wear scrubs – and only while on duty.
Does the Mrs. know that cleaning house in heels is great for strengthening the core?
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8:20 pm
why would anyone want a submissive woman? relationships aren’t fun unless you are both trying to kill each other.
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9:38 pm
Thank you. This internets webs site is now the number four most popular site in my country amongst people who cannot afford to own a computer with modem. While a senator and before the unpleasantness, I proposed limiting pornographic texts in my country. The proposed legislation would impose a fine for women caught with such a magazine. This had the dual intention of eliminating female discourse and keeping our homes clean. Sadly my legislation never made it out of committee.
Hon. H Mwabwetumba.
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2:49 am
Very good Beecham that is a magazine you read them. And you are on a computer can you say com..put..er good now why are you not cooking dinner like abe and tyson say you should be?
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8:59 am
I can say computer:
Intel i7 2.1 quad core
8 GB DDR3 RAM
Nvidia Geforce GTX 600
1 TB 72 RPM HDD
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2:35 pm
Claire, you don’t seem to understand how difficult it is to write a paragraph on a subject without sounding repetitive. Girl, woman, lady, gal… all are words in the arsenal of the author. We need that variety to make our sentences compelling. I mean no disrespect and 99 percent of our readers know exactly what I mean.
You, on the other hand, simply use this as an excuse to grind your ax of radical feminism. You people are always fighting about words and their meanings. It’s so silly. Have you ever read an academic blog? These people never say anything straight. They get paid to be obscure. I hate the whole “post modern” attempt to reclaim and redefine language. Obviously, this is a big part of your life.
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5:18 pm
Why has it always been men Claire? Why do women need affirmative action and the WNBA? Why can’t they do science and math?
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5:47 pm
My wife sucks at math.
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9:15 pm
It’s a well known scientific fact that men’s brains are far larger than females. You’ve even admitted this to me before, Claire.
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9:18 pm
The size of the brain has nothing to do with one’s intelligence, Pedobillings.
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9:41 pm
LITTLE BRAINS!
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9:45 pm
Which, again, Pedobillings, has NOTHING to do with intelligence.
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6:06 pm
I agree completely, Stephenson. Claire has a real ‘problem admiration’ society going on with words, specifically those that you choose. I’m not offended in the least by being called a girl, gal or even chick by you and some of the other respectful men of the fellowship.
Yet it is the liberal ones that call out names of reeking submissiveness. Those words that convey fetched slippers and rolling over for a tummy rub or a scratch behind the ears are often thrown my way in taunting rhymes that include words like ‘rich’ to sound hip-hopped.
Yes, they use these names to subdue my natural inclinations of spirituality in the blind hope that I will stop calling out their sad hypocrisy.
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6:23 pm
I call the fellowship men boys all the time. I also refer to Mister as “Tiger”, of course I use a Southern drawl when I say it so it sounds like “Tiiii-ger”.
Did you have a point?
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6:42 pm
I hear people caling grown men “boys” all the time.
Baseball players are called “boys of summer”
When my wife’s circle of friends are talking to each other, they are constantly referring to “what the boys are up to”. Or “are the boys fishing this weekend?”
“Bring the boys back home” is a common inspirational slang for troops.
There are so many others.
Calling men “boys” is so not offensive Claire.
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