Russians Help Starbucks Overcome NOM Boycott, Apple Starbucks Stock Sores

The Soviet Russians have thrown their entire economy behind Starbucks, slowly proving the frappaccino-driven factory of iPad gelled hair apple users with too tight jeans and snippy personalities are every bit the socialist their president Obama inspires them to be.

Communists enjoy the riches of American innovation by ‘buying out’ Starbucks, secretly shielding the company against the GOP boycott of their gay-marriage supporting ways.  The USSR has a plan to promote gay marriage in America, so less babies will be born and Russia can win the Cold War buy 2100 A.D.

With the support of the Russian economy, Starbucks stock actually increased nearly $1.50 over the last fiscal period.