Should Cats Become The New Mouse?
Cats are oft times called good pets, when the fact of the matter is quite the opposite. In the image above, look at the proud, smug look on the face of the cat. It thinks it has done the owner a favor by making heart-shaped waste in its litter.
Just as a wise flocker stated, a dog will think, “Wow! He gives me a home, always feeds me, plays with me and takes care of me. He must be God!” a cat will think, “Wow! It gives me a home, always feeds me, plays with me and takes care of me. I must be god!”
Cats are unpleasant creatures. They are lowly and they carry diseases that can wreck havoc upon your body’s immune system. Cats are potentially more dangerous to a woman’s womb than a drunk Obama with a hanger and let’s face it, we’ve all heard the horror stories of how cats enjoy suffocating a baby to get just a scent of Mommy’s milk. As society evolves in a point forward basis, we must begin to see that maybe it’s not mice who are our main villainous vermin, but rather, cats.
Cats are deceptively fast and can feign with the most startling of agility. It is a good idea to keep a tranquilizer gun or Taser available when trying to trap a cat, in case it springs your trap and tries to run away scared. One direct tase to this little feline sent it into pleasurable convulsions and made it easy to deliver to the local animal shelter.
I posit that we must begin to do research into disease vectors being spread by cats. At their exponentially high rate of growth and disastrous population explosion on the verge of realization, we must realize that one transpecies virulent pathogen that starts in cat is a deadly threat to humanity.
Did you know that the Bubonic plague actually started in Egypt and that cats were the original carriers of the disease?
Liberals will lie and say that Medieval Europeans hated cats with a burning passion, because the little beasts are so hard to kill and have a secretive, solitary nature, like a witch. During the times of the Bubonic plague, cats were almost hunted and killed to the point of extinction. It was not until this was done that the level of plague fell.
Somewhere along the line, liberal scientists doctored history and made fake correlations between cat reproductive rates and that of rats. Keep in mind neither of these statistics were accurately available. The myth today is that cats stopped the Bubonic plague, but the fact is their filthy feces, biting of humans and carrying fleas that nearly wiped out humanity.
Once capture and properly tied up, cats are easy to intimidate but they are very germy. Always handle cats with gloves and keep them well tied up/caged until you can take them into your local animal shelter for a final solution.
While this knowledge will be hard for many of you to take in, especially when liberals will lie and say it’s not true, just remember one truth: cats are a viral vector. They are carriers. This is cats 101.
Not many people understand that if anything like the bird flu were to mutate to a easily transferable and deadly form, cats would actually be the root of the viral transformation.
This is exactly what happened when the Bubonic plague almost destroyed civilized humanity.
As we go further into a new American century, we must truly evaluate and ask if our coy attitude towards that of a lowly vermin like a mouse should also apply to cats.
If you look into this issue and think of all the dangers cats pose to humanity, you will be forced to conclude a hearty yes.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Adam Nelson
2:42 am
How about no?
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2:45 am
How about yes?
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2:52 am
Why? Because you fear them?
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3:08 am
I don’t fear them; I just loathe them. They slaughter native wildlife by the dumpster full and they spread deadly disease.
What’s not to loathe?
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3:11 am
Humans have killed billions of creatures. Made many go extinct. They have spread coutless deadly diseases. So why are we aloud to live yet you think cats don’t?
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3:38 am
In some countries, cat is a nice delicacy. Here, I agree that they are vermin and we should bring death to them. Why do you get so worked up over cats, but do you give same regard to mice?
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3:50 am
I generally like mice. Had a few of them as pets when I was a kid.
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3:58 am
Ex-Christian, Cats were created by humans. They are part of the damage that humanity has wrought on the natural world.
If there had been no humans there would be no Felis catus.
Eradicating cats isn’t the solution to the world’s environmental problems, but it is a part of the solution.
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4:01 am
“Cats were created by humans.” Do you have anything to back this statement up?
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4:58 am
Oh Jesus fuck, your belligerent ignorance is getting tiresome.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat#Taxonomy_and_evolution
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4:27 pm
I just finished Dr. Nelson’s article that proves otherwise. Millions of native animals are massacred by cats. They are invasive, a pest and have no natural need in our lives. Just like we use mice as lab creatures, I think that’d be a good use for cats as well.
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6:46 pm
I mean use them properly, Claire. One of my friends is doing molecular biology and they get to take live mice, break their backbone and then cut out their fresh organs to grind over dry ice. It’s that sort of regard we should grow comfortable in giving cats as we use them as lab subjects.
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2:48 am
And on this day 4-1-12 god said, I’m real….April fools!!!!
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10:09 am
“So why are we aloud to live yet you think cats don’t?”
Because, in case you haven’t noticed yet, we happen to be top of the food chain, we can do pretty much what we like. If it was the other way around, and cats were in charge, we’d all be dead or canned already.
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10:44 pm
“European starlings and house sparrows, two of the birds most commonly killed by cats, are not native to North America. ”
So? You think they don’t kill native animals?
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2:34 am
I think you might have overlooked the fact that Claire doesn’t realize that the tiny corner of New England that she inhabits isn’t actually representative of the entire world. It’s what might be termed “goldfish syndrome,” a common trait among people who have never left their small neighborhood or who live in institutions.
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5:57 pm
Excellent point, Jeb. As always, you are an incisive son of a gun.
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1:57 pm
after reading this this article i promptly went home, found my cat, placed it in a pillow case and drowned it in the toilet. i will start doing this to any cat i can catch.
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10:54 pm
Mice and cats are vermin all the same. They are invasive species that have no real place here. It’s the sad and hard truth, my little buckaroo.
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11:28 pm
Claire, we agreed to just drop the entire nurse thing. So I’ve had a bad record with dating my coworkers, big deal. You don’t have to keep throwing it my face. And what’s wrong with calling you my little buckaroo. It’s just a term of endearment. I see you as a little friend I have on here. Sure, we don’t see eye to eye on a few issues but through the years, you’ve been a good friend and I appreciate you.
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