• Skrillex Is the Inventor of Dubstep

    April 23, 2012 8:54 pm 61 comments
    Skrillex

    Skrillex, the founder of Dubstep, poses with his student Deadmau5.

    Even though the genre of music sounds like a cat being strangled over the garbled screeches of a crack enraged Ozzy Osborne singing Crazy Train, and then somewhere a bassy Barry White eventually yells out “Shut up!”, creating the drop, there is amazingly great anger among fans of the music now that ‘Skrillex’, the founder of dubstep, is being recognized as the best in his field.

    If you ever heard the old Sesame Street skit where Oscar the Grouch bangs a trash can lid while a blind Stevie Wonder teaches about the 80s era electric piano, the snythesizer, you’ve pretty much heard the basics of dubstep.  It is a crude form of music that requires an Apple iBook and a crude sound editing program called Audacity.  More advanced practitioners use an 8-bit sound generator called Fruityloops, the very same engine that is responsible for creating the noises you heard on Atari and Nintendo (NES) as you grew up.

    Skrillex started off as an 8-bit music creator who perfected the sounds of his early childhood into a form of music called Dubstep.  What Skrillex did that others didn’t is create a concept called ‘the drop’.   All dubstep songs start off airy and dreamy, the primitive midi sounds tickling your cerebellum and taking you back to a primal state, as we were 6,ooo years ago.  At this basic human state of mind, your brain is instantly shocked as the hypothalmus triggers an explosive flight or fight response, causing the body to instantly go into a form of seizures.

    Thus the basic tenets of dubstep, as Skrillex scientifically calculated are:  1:  Calm Music 2:  Shock Drop 3:  Seizures

    While the music is horrible and the seizures worriesome and oft enhanced by the prevalent amount of drugs at raves and all electronic dance events, one must admit Skrillex is brilliant for exploiting the human brain as he’s done by his use of sound.  In 1994, at only ten years of age, Skrillex was able to discover complex elements of neuroscience.  Using his parent’s lab and keeping his friends up with copious amounts of caffeine, Skrillex eventually found the right mixture if shrill music and bass to cause instant seizures in people who stood around to listen.

    When Skrillex turned 14, he made Dubstep mainstream and official with his band named Korn.  The band gained great popularity in the US, releasing the first true dubstep song to top the charts.  The song is named Freak of a Leash.

    WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING VIDEO CONTAINS PRIMITIVE ELECTRONICA NOISES AND A DROP MIDWAY THROUGH THE SONG (at 2:41).  LISTENING TO THE FULL SONG WILL CAUSE YOU TO HAVE A SEIZURE.  PLEASE IMMEDIATELY DEMAND ALL WOMEN/CHILDREN LEAVE THE ROOM, PRAY AND HAVE EMERGENCY MEDICAL SERVICES ON SPEED DIAL BEFORE VIEWING.

    But then as the 90s grunge hippie culture eventually gave out to hipsterism, Skrillex felt Korn was ‘too mainstream’ and formed an underground band named From First to Last.  Skrillex symbolically shaved one side of the locks you witnessed in the video above, so as to prove he ‘was no indsutry standard’.

    Eventually Skrillex decided to launch a solo career and focus more on creating midi inspired music instead of traditional dubstep band music.   Industry officials are calling this the ‘silver lithium’ age of dubstep, spearheaded by Skrillex.

    Modern dubstep music still requires a drop and seizures, but usually has less words and only music.  In 2012, Skrillex won a grammy award for ‘best dubstep artist of the year’.  It makes since that the first award for dubstep would go to the man, albeit immoral, who founded it.

    Modern dubstep music is dangerous because it promotes a culture of masochism and drugs.  The shrill noises of dubstep oft causes listeneres to develop migraines, and thus they constantly seek various pain killers and hallucinogens to numb their mind.  The cycle of depedence Skrillex’s music causes is only outdone by the amount of Starbucks caffeine consumed by the dubstep community.

    Many other dubstep artists are jealous that since 1994, only Skrillex and his student — Deadmau5 — have received critical acclaim.

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    About The Author
    Adam Nelson

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