Jeremy Britt is the biggest loser. Of pounds.
In an impressive show of devotion and let’s not lie, desire to win $250,000, Jeremy Britt beat out his not-so-well spirited sister and a herd of other typically gutted Americans to claim the title and prove one thing: we really don’t have to be a nation of fat bums, literally and figuratively.
To lose weight, it takes dedication to changing your lifestyle. And in the Season 13 finale, the 22-year-old banker from Rockford, Michigan, did just that. Britt began the competition near the new average weight for a Democrat American man, 389 pounds. Back when America was fit under President Reagan, this number was far lower. Now that we are living off the fat of the lamb and everyone can just sit around their home and collect Obamacare, that number is going up.
Britt had a return to how God meant us to be. After enduring exercise and good diet, Jeremy Britt dropped down to a svelte 190 pounds. That is 1/4th of a Michael Moore, a quarter pounder. Conda Britt and Kim Nielsen, a former wrestler, were both runners-up. For his hard work, Britt won $250,000. See liberals, work always pays off.
The take home message from The Biggest Loser is pretty clear. Stop sitting around and being a Democrat. It’s such an easy and lazy lifestyle to fall into. My good friends Stephenson Billings, Auguest Weisz and Tyson Bowers III are all in the, aged gentleman category with me, but yet we keep our bodies holy and Godly. When we go out together the girlies still turn their heads to get a look at our bods. Some catcall and some whistle. Sure, they are sinning but they just can’t help but take an eyeful. It’s okay, it’s natural and I cannot blame them.
It matters not your age, my friends, or your place in life. You just need to always exercise 30 minutes a day, drink plenty of water and do not push away a good plate of steak or bacon. Liberals will try to tell you to eat more veggies, but that’s just communism talking. You cannot build muscle without protein and animals with four legs are the best source. That’s why God put them there and made them easy to corral and kill at our leisure.