• Justin Bieber Beats Up Photographer in Calabasas, Eludes LA Police

    May 29, 2012 12:23 pm 8 comments

    Justin Bieber’s reign of tyranny continues, this time as the “Boyfriend” singer beat up an innocent papparazzi photographer in Calabasas.

    We’ve all known other celebrities have increased chatter on Twitter, talking about how Justin Bieber’s becoming a muscle bound menace and doing unseemly things.

    “The guy is ripped,” said Carrot Top. “When we were at Malibu Yo’, he lifted me out of line and told me I could get some more ginger next door at Ralphs.”

    A shocked Kimbo Slice cries and is comforted by his posse after being dragged out of his car and slapped by an angry Justin Bieber.

    UFC powerhouse had a similar incident.  Slice was simply driving his SUV through the Westwood area of the city, when at a light Justin Bieber ‘suddenly jumped out of his Jetta.’  Bieber allegedly knocked on Slice’s window and when Slice opened it up, Bieber dragged him out and proceeded to beat him down in the street.  “That’s for making me lose $20 on last night’s fight, punk!”  Slice was so shocked and hurt that he could only cry.  “It was like disappointing a little brother who wanted to whoop my a**, I had no idea how to defend myself.”

    Sources close to Team Bieber indicate the young singer may have recently started hanging out with ‘Iron’ Mike Tyson.  Though retired, it’s said that one punch from Mike Tyson could still frustrate and spook a crack infused Grizzly Bear.

    With the quickness of the punches and devestation Bieber wrought upon the paparazzi, it truly is the only logical explanation for the headline.  If you see Justin Bieber and he has a tough glint in your eyes, just ask yourself if you think you’re tough enough to make Kimbo Slice cry.  If the answer is no, run away and call for help.

    Justin Bieber was last seen jetting away with his girlfriend Selena Gomez.

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    About The Author
    Frank Meyer Conservative Republican and believer of first amendment rights.

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