• Kate Upton Bikini Dances to Rej3ctz’s ‘Cat Daddy’ [Video], Satan’s New ‘Catstep’ Music

    May 3, 2012 10:24 am 24 comments

    Satan has a new form of music he wants to whisper into your child’s ears.  It is called ‘Catsep’, a hissing, trippier version of the Skrillex created genre called dubstep.

    This music is meant exclusively for teenage women who are just starting college.  As seen in the image up above, Kate Upton is revealing herself and standing next to a nearly 50-year-old Chomo Hipster.  You can tell by the plaids in his shirt, the European balding haircut and thick glasses, that behind that smug grin and handlebar stache is a mind who plans to twiddlewink your college daughter and send her home with a big belly of secret shame.

    Look at how Kate Upton is already holding her belly.  I wonder what’s embedded in there?  Maybe a little hipster sauce?

    The way Catstep works is pretty simple.  It first lures women with something they cannot resist:  the purrs of a kitten.  A kitten is Satanic in many ways, one of the ways being that it uses inherit cuteness to gain access to a woman’s heart and trust.  For every one cat, 60 cases of ringworm will be reported.  Ringworm is simply a cat STI that’s passed on when a woman lets a cat do naughty things to them. 

    Once hearing a bit of the hissing beats and rapper’s words, the woman is put into a trance and can be made to do pregnancy dances. We see this in the following shock video that was posted on YouTube.

    Brother August first discovered this horrendous attrocity and in this video you’ll weep as Kate Upton club-dances to The Rej3ctz’s song “Cat Daddy” in nothing but a skimpy red bikini. The dancing, like any true club, shows off lots of jiggling and temptations, forcing Upton at the end of her performance, to make sure her milksacs didn’t pop out.

    At the end of the song, her inner-spirit is able to break her trance and she yells “That’s it, that’s all you guys need.” We’re sure they just held her there and exposed the 19-year-old to more of the music, loosened her morals and soon she will probably have a Jessica Simpson sized baby bump.


    Kate Upton was once a Christian Model who posed in Christian female modeling showcase, Sports Illustrated. The magazine regularly features chaste women showing off their hard earned curves as proof of what awaits men of morality. Look at what catstep ‘Cat Daddy’ dance has done to her.

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    About The Author
    Adam Nelson

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