• New Gay DC Character Revealed to be Batman in Identity

    May 22, 2012 12:33 am 67 comments

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    Abe

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    My old buddy Tyson Bowers III and I have long preached about the hidden world of homosexuality in comics.  We’ve written hundreds of reports and given many sermons on the issue, so it should come as no surprise that DC is now officially announcing that one of its characters is gay.

    Tyson long speculated that the Spider-man, with his subliminal man goo webs of sins would be the secret colon dabbler.  I always put my money on Batman, who likes to play batarang the poocave with Robin’s unholy nest!

    Batman and Robin have a long history of playing ‘Mr. Owl’s reverse tootsie pop’ with each other.

    DC Comics’ Vice President Bobby Wayne announced that DC’s stance on homosexuality ‘has evolved’.  He announced that the character would be a main, established character with a perceived sexuality.  That describes Batman to a t.

     
    Batman flirts around with The Catwoman and Jean Gray, but then at every free second he forces his thick, musky legs into deep black Corinthian leathers, fighting off villains and screaming out in deep agony as their whips and bullets rip his flesh.  His partner, Robin, dances around in this nightly ritual of masichism until they achieve an exhausted victory, returning to Wayne Manor to slowly peel their sweaty, blood splattered leathers from each other and then to both jump into a sensually hot bubble bath pitched for them by the dainty butler named Alfred.
     
    Then, they give in to whatever relaxes their throbbing muscles.
     
    Now try to tell me that scenario does not scream of hidden homosexuality, my friends.  Wayne’s secret should be pretty obvious, but there are still some people who claim that Wonder Woman may reveal herself to be a clamdabbler, or the suspicious Aquaman may reveal himself to be a tuna cave denier.
     
    Either way it plays out, official homosexuality is on the horizon for DC Comics and we’ve warned you parents, comic books are little color slices right out of the devil’s diary for years now.  Now that we have the words straight from the horse’s mouth, maybe you parents will believe it.

     

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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