Solar Eclipse May 20 2012, Gays to Blame

ChristianCrusader
• ChristWire
May 20, 2012 1:17 pm3 comments

God woke up early today so that he could shut out the Sun. As you read this article, God has a group of angels en-route to the sun to hold a giant circular shaped holy drape right over it. This drape was sewn by the skilled hands of Mother Mary herself, so don’t think it’s just going to burn away.

This is all symbolism. The covered sun resembled a giant gaping sinhole, what gay men fantasize about ever 30 seconds or so per day as they work their little easy secretary or floral shop jobs. While they should be out being doctors and lawyers, they fantasize new schemes to fondle society’s morals until we’re exhausted and just let them all have gay marriage.

God is reminding us that those who expose their backside skyward for sins, shall have the chaffing heats of 300 Kelvin rushing in! It’s so beautiful the moment the angels yank the drape away and we see what all awaits those who let themselves get docked by a satan scepter.

The May 2012 Solar eclipse is schedule to start sometime today and if you try to look at it, the brightness of the angels will still blind you.

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3 Comments

  • Solar eclipse is a normal natural phenomen, which appears every few years. There’s noone to blame for it, idiot. It made that way…

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  • Obviously a joke article of some sort, “God is reminding us that those who expose their backside skyward for sins, shall have the chaffing heats of 300 Kelvin rushing in!” Oh no! 300 Kelvin is ca 80 degrees Fahrenheit or ca 27 degrees Celcius.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

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