The Oklahoma City Thunder, God’s Favorite to Win the NBA Championship.
<OKC> This is not a prediction. This is the expected outcome of the kind of wholesome Godliness that will always triumph both in life and sport. The glorious light of God shines down on the good folk of Oklahoma City as they cheer on their beloved Thunder in their quest for the championship of Men’s National Professional Basketball (NBA.)
Using the force of stellar African athletes sweating together as they perform tremendous feats of power and grace that bring to mind the finest camaraderie of folksong and minstral traditions, this basketball team personifies Americana as it warms the hearts of the most God-fearing Christians in the Midwest’s home of freedom and glory, Oklahoma. The state that has gifted the World with Senatores Inhofe and Coburn is having the favor returned by Almighty God and we are privlidged to witness the miracle.
Just look at the facts and try to deny it.
1) The franchise was once located in the filthy, anti-Christian bastion of disease, sin, and sexual depravation,Seattle, a city that has voted communist in each election for the past 50 years. They celebrate satan up there in Seattle but good Christians have moved the franchise to one of the reddest states in the union, Oklahoma, much closer to God. It was this action that precipitated God’s favorable light that immediately shined on the team as it climbs toward the highest of NBA pinnacles after years of losing.
2) The name of the team was changed from “Sonics,” a restaurant that features scantily clad roller girls delivering artery clogging fare to sinners right in their automobiles. It was Sonic Restaurants that sponsored the car that brought martyrdom to one of God’s favorite sons, Dale Earnhardt Sr.
“Sonics” was also the namesake of a heinous Japanese infiltration, sonic the headhog, a time wasting video game that rots the minds of youth and makes them crave wild buzzes and homosexual behavior, rolling themselves into balls while baring themselves to twinkled sonic rump blasts.
3) They have taken up the nickname “Thunder,” God’s warning to sinners and signal to believers that His kingdom is soon to be cleansed of sin, awash in rain and devastating flood, if necessary. All a person needs to do is open a bible to the story of Noah and they will see. Of course, sinners like the kind of people that would live in Seattle and root for Sonics would disagree. That is expected of atheists and other groups that have given their souls over to satan. The bible tells us what their final fate will be
4) Kevin Durant and Rusty Westbrook are decent blacks that happen to be athletes. The realize that they have God-given gifts that allow them to excel in the sport of American Basketball. They pridefully wear the medals that they have won to bring honor and glory to their nation, America.
Where can this kind of racial triumph be found in a city like Seattle, where coked cane drugs reign and tramps walk the street peddling their sinful bodies and swallowing the innocence of youth? The answer is “nowhere.” The black youth of Seattle have a feeling of abandonment and see no future for themselves because of the availability of sin that exists.
Won’t you join with me in praise for the Oklahoma City Thunder, God’s favorite team in the NBA Playoffs?
Will you not join with God and celebrate the Thunder’s Christian mission to defeat and destroy the evil influences of teams like the Sodom Lakers and the Satan Antonio Spurs?
Praise be to the Thunder and to God!