• Tropical Storm Beryl Prepares to Strike, Gays Are To Blame

    May 27, 2012 11:27 pm 67 comments

    It’s once again the season where God strikes America down with hurricanes because we are letting gay men raise their mandy canes in each other’s backsides!  FOR IT IS WRITTEN!

    Luke 21:25

    King James Version (KJV)

    25 And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;

    Here you can see God is ripping through the Eastern seaboard with mighty Tropical Storm Beryl!  Is anger is mighty because women are allowed to tickle each other’s tuna tunnels under the pretense of marriage!  Imagine God’s disgust when two fecal bandits give each other reverse fleshy handshakes in the turgid nether regions!

    My friends, can America withstand another season of mighty tempests from God!  I say nay!  You should too.  Say NAY to GAY!

    Look at the weather pattern above.  In North Carolina the people said Nay to Gay and voted Amendment 1 into law, which bans all gay marriage.  Look at how the weather arrow shows that God is blowing a gentle 8 mile per hour evening breeze to cool the brows of his faithful in North Carolina, while as you read this Floridans are having 100 mph winds that blow African Rock Pythons through their windows and alligators through their roofs!

    As tropical storm Beryl looms in the background, God has blown a devil snake onto the porch of a Jacksonville family.  This evil mutan demon snake is the same type that tempted Eve to eat of the Apple of Sexual Knowledge, a fruit that the gays want to each off each other’s nasty spots each and every day.  This snake is pure poison and is evil, the family is probably all dead.

    We must stop gay marriage from taking place in America.  Until we do so, more hurricanes will keep coming and God will continue to use his powerful winds to blow strange, demented creatures into your home to bite you and your family.  Do not forget that wrath comes in many flavors, and it seems this summer God is going wet, wild and native with how he strikes down sinners.

    Remember the scripture I gave you and let it haunt you as we watch people suffer this weekend from Tropical Storm Beryl.  I’ll be in my easy chair, sipping my coffee and happily waiting to say I told you so.

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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