Tyler Perry studios address burned by massive holy fire, 100 firefighters needed to put out the flames.
A word from the Lord came burning down from heaven and deep into the heart of Atlanta, Georgia. Tyler Perry Studios went into spontaneous combustion moments after it was announced that another Madea movie was in the making. Thankfully no one was hurt in the blaze, but the message from God is pretty clear: Tyler Perry must start hiring more diverse cast in his movies and not turn into a Will Ferrell “regurgitate the plot” movie aficionado. Also, even though it’s funny to see black men act like big black grandmothers in movies, Tyler Perry must hire a real black grandmother –maybe Big Momma Ella from Roscoe’s– to take over the role of Madea.
Since when in the Bible were men allowed to become a thespiansexuals and dress like women, even if it means making a bunch of money?
The Tyler Perry Studios fire is very unique. According to reports, no one was injured and the studios are still ‘structurally stable’. This means this fire is just like when God tossed a few meteors across the night sky and sent a few mild hurricanes to warn New York to overturn its gay marriage law. It’s just like the last rash of wildfires God used to scratch the nerves of Californians when they allowed Prop 8 overturns and gay marriage to resurface.
Tyler Perry, you are being given a warning. When you do hire an actual woman to be Madea in the future movies, and also cook up plots besides a nice black family overcoming differences through food and humor, Madea doing a few outlandish things and in the end, good grandmotherly wisdom wins out (throwing grits on Al Green references included) and the crowd leaves happy and refreshed, make sure Madea does not have advertisements that say “Hallelujer” plastered all over downtown LA. You are teaching our young black Baptists and Pentecosts that “Hallelujer” is an acceptable pronunciation of the highest praise.
If you really want to be blessed, help out Oprah’s channel. It is boring. Tell Oprah to hire you to put some sitcoms on there, like House of Payne. My wife makes me watch OWN and it is so boring. You and Oprah had an emotional tell-all, so call her up and be frank with her. Tell her that just like a reverse-Jonah, God doused you in the belly of fire and you have to take your holy word to her network.
Sitcoms are always better than watching a one hour “Lifeclass” or whatever that has Diane Sawyer blathering about herself for an hour. Sprinkle in celebrities talking about themselves, go heavy on the sitcoms. Use food references, Tyler Perry. Oprah will get it. One helping of boring interviews, a few tubs of Macaroni and Sitcoms. If you have Big Momma Ella hired by then, you are already ahead of the game and making God and black househusbands happier by the moment.
Let all these things be Ninevah unto you, Tyler Perry. Go forth and do well, or God may bring floods or meteors next time.