Atheist Superscientists Conduct Summer Solstice Ritual at Stonehenge
The atheists are again tampering with the supernatural, trying to cause Armageddon to fall upon God’s green Earth.
For years atheists have attempted to hunt down any DNA from Christ, so they may clone and recreate the anti-Christ. Atheists want to harness the power of Christ so they can raise their dead heroes like Carl ‘The Pagan’ Sagan and Adolf Hitler. There is nothing that would make their cheese curdle more than having a chance to overtake God’s country of America with their veiled Satanic mischief.
In the country of Stonehenge, France, you can see the atheists have gathered in their ‘Tweet Card’. The message they have put down is ‘blessed summer Solstice’.
Atheists try to teach children the ancient Stonhenge monument was built by cavement. What’s even more bizarre is they claim that ancient aliens helped the cavement lifted these huge pillars into place and taught them the basics about fire and all that jazz. You know that’s preposterous.
But what atheists won’t tell you is at this site every year, they say Satanic chants and listen to Halestorm. And at the point where they claim alients first taught the ancient cavemens to build the first fire, they put a large pot cauldron and put ‘items’ in it they think belong to Christ. They then use powerful electromagnets to galvanize the DNA, then use the eggs from a virgin lamb to try to create a Christ clone. Some of the bizarre animals and human clones they’ve produced at these rituals we will show and discuss at a later time.
What’s odd is that Satan actually helps them. If you go outside right now, and balance an egg on its pole axis, it will stay balance until the hour of Satan, midnight. Today Satan uses even his full power to defy gravity and that’s what the word ‘solstice’ means.’ It’s just all really scary these people exist and when America has the ability to run the Earth again when we elect Romney in 2012, the first order of business must be making this atheist religion illegal.
It’s bad enough that they are allowed to disrespect God, but when you add in all the crimes like sodomy, throwing aborted baby fetus material in their anti-Christ gumbo pot, you know it’s all crimes against decency, Christianity and therefore humanity.
If you believe your neighbor is atheist and participating in this summer solstice 2012 rituals, please feel free to report them to your local clergy and have a neighborhood meeting on how to kick them from your housing council.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
3:03 pm
“For years atheists have attempted to hunt down any DNA from Christ, so they may clone and recreate the anti-Christ.”
You DO realize that 1) cloning of that level is impossible right now, and 2) if the DNA from Christ WAS found, that it would end up helping your case of ‘Christianity is right, blah blah blah’, right?
“Atheists want to harness the power of Christ so they can raise their dead heroes like Carl ‘The Pagan’ Sagan and Adolf Hitler.”
No, that’s not something atheists want to do. Particularly because if it turned out that bringing back people from the dead is a possibility, then odds are it would cause either a zombie or a dramatic shift of religion, and then there’s the fact that Hitler was Christian, meaning he’s no hero to any atheist.
“In the country of Stonehenge, France, you can see the atheists have gathered in their ‘Tweet Card’.”
1) Stonehenge isn’t in France. 2) ‘Tweet card’? You mean a picture that had some text put onto it? Don’t know why you’d call that a ‘tweet card’, aside from the fact that you’re an idiot.
“Atheists try to teach children the ancient Stonhenge monument was built by cavement.”
1) There are no such things as ‘cavemenT’ emphasis on that T, so you should probably run a spell checker at least once.
2) That’s not true at all, the earliest date that the monuments were put up was roughly 2400 BC, which still fits into your idea of the Earth being only 6000 years old (no matter how stupid the idea of Earth being that young is).
“What’s even more bizarre is they claim that ancient aliens helped the cavement lifted these huge pillars into place and taught them the basics about fire and all that jazz. You know that’s preposterous.”
Yeah, dunno why you believe that, considering that not one word of what you said there is true.
“But what atheists won’t tell you is at this site every year, they say Satanic chants and listen to Halestorm.”
That’s not true either, since atheists don’t worship Satan, nor do they worship themselves, and I doubt that they have enough time to gather and do this when it’s visited by so many people every day, barring storms.
“And at the point where they claim alients first taught the ancient cavemens to build the first fire, they put a large pot cauldron and put ‘items’ in it they think belong to Christ. They then use powerful electromagnets to galvanize the DNA, then use the eggs from a virgin lamb to try to create a Christ clone. Some of the bizarre animals and human clones they’ve produced at these rituals we will show and discuss at a later time.”
You must have been smoking some serious shit to imagine all of that happening. Along with the rest of what you said, you have to be seriously mentally damaged in order to think that anything you just said was true.
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11:04 pm
What a lot of crap LN. Regardless of what technology you think we do and do not have, that does not negate the fact that these pagans and devil worshipers aren’t doing their very best to clone the anti-Christ. They’ve been trying to manipulate DNA in France for decades, you don’t have a clue how far they’ve gone and still you’re willing to point out to the world that you don’t believe Abe? What a fool.
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11:09 pm
“What a lot of crap LN. Regardless of what technology you think we do and do not have, that does not negate the fact that these pagans and devil worshipers aren’t doing their very best to clone the anti-Christ.”
That’s the entire fucking point. If we can barely clone a barn animal, what chance do we have of cloning Jesus, and considering there IS no ONE being that’s known as the anti-Christ, all you’ve done is prove that you know jack shit about the bible.
“They’ve been trying to manipulate DNA in France for decades, you don’t have a clue how far they’ve gone and still you’re willing to point out to the world that you don’t believe Abe? What a fool.”
I know that they haven’t gone far enough to clone human beings, and Abe is talking about a bunch of people with a giant pot remaking Jesus just so they could make it evil.
You’re nothing but an ignorant and arrogant little punk.
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11:10 pm
No Atheist is trying to clone Jesus Christ because of multiple reasons.
A) Most Atheists don’t think he exists.
B) The world’s technology can’t clone human beings.
C) If he was real, there would be no reason to clone him. And don’t give me that anti-Christ bullcrap. We don’t believe that’s real either.
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11:11 pm
You are too stupid to realize, that the Anti Christ doesn’t exist.
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11:27 pm
Zombies already exist there, kiddo. Have you been living under a rock or something?
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11:29 pm
No zombies no not exist yet. There are zombie-like drugs or parasites but nothing has actually created the “zombies”.
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12:01 am
Did you miss the zombie who ate a man in Florida? Or are you just going to keep covering your ears and eyes to reality? Zombies exist and atheists would love to clone Jesus.
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12:04 am
You’ve missed what I said about zombie-like drugs. The man was one a drug that was “zombie-like”. Not true zombie. That might never happen. And again with cloning Jesus? Why would we want to clone an imaginary person?
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12:08 am
“Why would we want to clone an imaginary person?”
Why do you keep saying that? Your ilk want to clone Jesus, not Sherlock Holmes! Try to stay on topic, kid.
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12:11 am
Ah good ol Erich. Assuming everyone that doesn’t agree with him is a kid. Anyway, you’re Jesus is just in your head, same as your god.
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12:51 am
Please open up a grammar book and learn the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
You atheists turn your backs on grammar in the same manner that you turn your backs on Jesus.
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12:53 am
OMG I made one grammar mistake and now it’s the end of the world?! Here let me fix what I said so you can read it clearly.
*your
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12:55 am
“Please open up a grammar book and learn the difference between “your” and “you’re.” ”
Don’t bitch about the grammar of others if you aren’t going to bitch about Cultwire’s grammar, and if you’re going to use that to dismiss any and all arguments made by the other side, then you should have a thesaurus by your side at all times and looking at it thoroughly before posting from now on.
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1:26 am
“Ah good ol Erich. Assuming everyone that doesn’t agree with him is a kid.”
Not true. I assume you’re a kid due to your underdeveloped opinions, naive outlook on life and child-like military stratagem.
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1:28 am
A) I’ve never said anything about the military.
B) Mostly what I say is fact. There are no zombies yet.
C) And what have I said that has indicated my outlook on life?
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11:32 pm
You are an idiot
Stop spouting crap you idiot
Get a Haircut Please
My haiku to Dan
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11:39 pm
Almost a haiku…Your first line has an extra syllable, as does your second line. Last line is fine though
You-are-an-I-di-ot=6 syllables (1 extra)
Stop-spout-Ing-crap-you-I-di-ot=8 syllables (1 extra)
Get-a-hair-cut-please=5 syllables
You almost had a perfect haiku for Dan
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12:32 am
Shit.
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12:38 am
O knows his stuff.
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1:23 am
I was going to point out your error as well, but decided to give you a pass assuming that in your pirate English you pronounced “Idiot” as id-yot. Two Syllables. Great job though, O-Dawg, for putting this ruffian in his place!
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1:26 am
You keep calling him “O-Dawg” even though he has many times expressed how much he dislikes you. I take it you don’t have any friends Erich so you try to pretend to be friends. Have you tried seeking help?
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1:29 am
O likes us! We are going to reward him one of these days.
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1:30 am
Ouroboros does not like you. He has said it many times but has given up trying to tell you.
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1:31 am
In fact, I was thinking about submitting a ChrisTwire article about my dear friend Ouroboros and how the rest of you naysayers could learn a thing or twenty from this most distinguished man of letters.
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1:34 am
Erich you make me facepalm at your stupidity.
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1:41 am
Good idea, Erich. There is a lot to admire about O’Rubberous, especially his honesty and integrity. The rabble here could learn a lot from the way he conducts himself.
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1:55 am
Yarr Erich, why ye be bringin up me pirate English? Arr.
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3:18 am
Liberals are as devoid of a sense of humor as they are of Jesus’ salvation.
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3:20 am
Just because we don’t have the same sense of humor does NOT mean I have none.
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1:09 pm
I wasn’t putting Kingfisher in his place…I just thought I should help
Him out before one of you christwire guys called him out on it and criticized him for it…Figured me correcting him would be nicer than anyone else doing it
@Kingfisher: I hope my correction didn’t come off as rude because I didn’t mean any disrespect
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7:57 pm
Erich ten bucks says this is the first you’ve ever heard of an haiku. Stop trying to act like you know everything champ sauce
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9:57 pm
your an idiot
stop spouting crap you moron
get a haircut please
fix’d
I have a more fun one
Haikus are really fun
but sometimes they don’t make sense
refrigerator.
I do parties.
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1:46 am
I thought you were him. I promise $1,000.00 US Currency to any person who can dis prove that you are a Homosexual. Man of my Word and hard working American keep his promis not like the
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7:14 am
I’ll say it again. You’ve already lost. Contrary to popular belief, what a person believes, or how they talk or act, doesn’t make them gay.
I mean, it’s not like being gay has anything to do with whether they like the same gender or not.
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2:22 pm
okay give me the money I can disprove it I will bring a Lotta girls to him and he will fall for them i,m sure
mannn what an easy way to make the penny
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3:06 pm
Where can I get whatever you are taking? I can tell you firsthand that the summer solstice celebration is a Wiccan thing; Atheists don’t believe in anything that isn’t logical.
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5:08 pm
Also a druid thing and other pagan religions. Massively important to a vast number of pagans in Britain and elsewhere.
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5:29 pm
The solstice celebration is not a Wiccan thing. That’s as ridiculous as saying that the pyramids are a Scientologist thing.
Solstice celebrations were going on for thousands of years before this modern-day Wicca bullshit was invented.
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5:30 pm
“Atheists don’t believe in anything that isn’t logical.”
Not true. The only thing atheists have in common is that they don’t believe in gods. Plenty of them believe in ancient aliens, ghosts, conspiracy theories and anything else there is to believe in.
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5:39 pm
But atheists dont beleive in the devil proving that this is just bullshit.
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5:49 pm
Well, no, they don’t believe in the devil. That kind of goes hand in hand with not believing in gods.
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5:55 pm
Exactly, which proves this article is false.
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2:56 pm
And no argument for once? Awesome.
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11:07 pm
Atheists are those used by the devil for his wicked bidding, but are to dumb to realize their nothing but Satan’s whores.
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11:11 pm
So you want people to constantly disagree, fight, and kill people over religious beliefs?
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11:12 pm
No, that is completely false. Try to understand what this means: Atheists are people who don’t believe in a higher power. Nothing more, nothing else. What those people do has nothing to do with them being Atheists.
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11:13 pm
And wouldn’t it make MORE sense for Satan to trick people into thinking that he’s the SAVIOR instead of not existing?
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11:13 pm
You do realize that you are merely the whore of an ignorant book? We are the smart ones, yet christians always have a smug grin saying
You are going to hell Homogay.
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11:16 pm
Welcome back Susan.
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4:27 am
Kingfisher, can we have a little less of the “whore” and “bitch” talk, please? It’s misogynist language, and you just spent all morning trying to convince me that the ADF doesn’t have a misogynist culture.
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4:33 am
I was using her own language against her. I’m not saying it is justified.
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4:38 am
Then take the high road and don’t use it. It doesn’t help anyone.
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12:30 am
Claire,
1) You seem to misunderstand the nature of this site, despite your incessant boasting about having been here since 2008.
2) There is a little thing called picking the battles you have a chance of winning.
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6:07 am
You are misguided if you think you can win against Claire.
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12:29 pm
Well done, Claire. You’ve proved yet again that you have no clue as to what’s going on here.
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12:27 am
okay, first of all, *they’re. their is possessive, and that would just make the sentence weird. secondly, i’m an atheist, and atheism is most certainly not satanism. I do not even believe that satan exists, and i’m pretty sure religion was created to figure out why the sky lit up and went boom. to say that we are used for satan’s will is plain silly.
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5:57 pm
shows how much Atheist I am
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5:59 pm
Huh?
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11:44 pm
huh…
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9:31 pm
I feel like saying I love paranormal “activities” but I’m not atheist i,m more agnostic because religious its purely Bullshit ( I said religion Not God )
and there is a lot of thing we doN,t know about surnatural
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3:30 pm
Don’t atheists realize that their selfish actions are putting the rest of us in danger?
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9:32 pm
what “danger” are you suffering after all it’s not christian who committed the biggest genocide in history ?
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2:16 pm
Actually most of my atheist friends are atheist for not just not believeing in this crap. Another reason because religion just causes war and genocides while atheism or agnostic doesnt.
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2:26 pm
they will claim that mao stalin and hitler committed genocide on atheism while it’s was msotly Political and not religious
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10:54 pm
Well Hitler was christian no matter how much they argue it. They just choose to not hear the truth when it doesnt suit them.
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10:11 pm
I know right?
This is why I renounced my Atheism as soon as I discovered the light.
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3:39 pm
You do realize us Atheists don’t believe is Satan and the more you insist that we do the more idiotic you look.
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5:09 pm
They need to learn the difference between Atheism and Satanism. It is pretty simple really so even the christwire lot should be able to figure it out eventually.
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3:57 pm
oh look…Abe is back…And even crazier than before…How’s that possible?
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5:11 pm
Maybe he was on some form of medication that limited his madness to raving lunatic before and now he is off it completely.
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5:31 pm
Ouro, Abe has been recovering from a heart attack. Be nice.
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5:59 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoPplpBPQxQ Technologic
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12:33 am
a good song, but what does that have to do with literally anything?
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5:04 pm
Well firstly human cloning is illegal pretty much everywhere. Also how would someone create the anti-Christ by finding the DNA of Christ? What you’d get from Christ’s DNA is a clone of Christ. Atheists and Satanists are very different by the way. Atheists don’t believe in any sort of spiritual being or god. Satanists actually do believe in stuff like a god, they just choose to follow Satan instead of god.
“In the country of Stonehenge, France” I’m going to assume that country was a typo and you actually meant county. I shall first point out that Stonehenge is the name of the monument not the county. Secondly France?!?!? No. Stonehenge is in ENGLAND. Wiltshire to be precise. I’ve passed it many times while travelling further down south.
No one knows how it was built. Granted there are some rather odd legends behind the stones. Not heard the alien one though.
Again Atheist doesn’t equal Satanist. No one is galvanising DNA. You clearly have no idea what galvanisation is. It is applying a protective layer of zinc (usually to iron or steal) to avoid rusting. Galvanising DNA will render it useless for cloning.
Also Stonehenge is the gathering place of Druids, Wiccans and other Pagan religions during the solstices and equinoxes due to the believed astronomical purposes of Stonehenge. Not Satanists, nor Atheists. A solstice is when the sun (hence the sol part) reaches the highest (summer) or lowest (winter) point in the sky at noon. It gives rise to the longest and shortest day. The equinoxes are the mid-points. Each mark the middle of a season.
I may not be American but isn’t there something about separating the church from the state in your constitution? I also believe there is something about freedom of religion for all. Meaning you can practice whatever religion you see fit. That would mean making a religion (atheism is not a religion by the way more of a lack of religion) illegal would go against those and could probably be called an un-American thing to do.
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5:33 pm
“What you’d get from Christ’s DNA is a clone of Christ.”
Unless you modified the DNA to make it an evil clone. Like wiring a vacuum cleaner to go from suck to blow.
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5:49 pm
First we’d have to discover if there is in fact an “Evil gene”. But yeah that’s pretty much how you’d get an evil clone of Christ.
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6:01 pm
There is no such thing as an evil gene. Characteristics are the result of a complex interplay between genetics and the pre- and post-natal enviroment. Often large numbers of genes are involved.
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6:08 pm
Which is something I knew already which is why I put “evil gene” in quotes. No one gene actually is responsible for such a complex thing as characteristics. Single genes are just responsible for the creation of a specific protein.
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6:15 pm
Don’t worry — I knew you knew =)
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6:34 pm
I knew you knew I knew. Just clearing up the fact I knew for the christwire lot.
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12:05 am
It would be evil by virtue of being a clone. All clones are evil and Satanic by default.
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12:07 am
And you know this how? There has never been a clone human. At the moment, people can only clone animals, which are neither good nor evil.
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12:09 am
Where does it say that in the Bible?
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12:11 am
We have some Richard Nixon clones almost of age to run for office. They are sequestered in Dick Cheney’s undisclosed location. While cloning is wrong, these are ok, Ronald Regan Approved.
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12:13 am
August that might just be one of the stupidest things you’ve ever said.
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12:16 am
Or so it would seem….
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1:01 am
Atheists received information on cloning humans from that Dark Vader guy in those Stargate documentary films before he died.
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1:03 am
“Atheists received information on cloning humans from that Dark Vader guy in those Stargate documentary films before he died.”
You just confused two different sci-fi films and called them documentaries.
You should just stop speaking right now.
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1:03 am
Bruce stop doing drugs you complete idiot. Darth Vader is not real and isn’t even from Stargate. He’s from Starwars. There are no Stargate documentary because it was just a science fiction show. Do you know what fiction means?
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1:17 am
It clearly states at the beginning of the documentary that it happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Just because you are atheists, doesn’t mean you need to argue every truth that is out there.
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1:20 am
The stargate is real and in liberal hands. They use it to spread the lies of eviloution to other countries. Space MacGyver is our only hope
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1:24 am
Can you not understand what fiction is? It’s not a documentary. It’s fake. It’s a series of movies, based on a man’s books. Please stop taking drugs Bruce, they make you post retarded comments. And shut up August. Stargate isn’t real either.
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1:37 am
Sure, Pembrocks, and next you’ll be telling me that the Fresh Price of Bel-Air wasn’t really Will Smith’s life story. You atheists are getting dumber by the day.
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1:44 am
I don’t know why you brought up The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air but you’ve actually made yourself even more dumber. Do you know what fiction shows are? They are fake. Acting. Will Smith’s life was nothing like that. Bruce just stop talking. Nothing you are saying is right.
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1:46 am
Ha! You are truly a moron. The entire premise behind that show was based on Will Smith’s rise to fame. Why do you think DJ Jazzy Jeff was involved?
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1:48 am
Also, Will Smith was in the Star Trek documentary. He played Lando Kardashian. That is why I brought up his life story.
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1:57 am
Geez, does every Christian on this website need a Haircut?
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1:59 am
My haircut is very stylish and short enough to do military service. Something you will never know due to your physical fitness and asthma.
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2:01 am
The show helped him rise to fame, but it wasn’t based on his life. Now you’re saying Star Trek? Wasn’t it Stargate before? Having trouble keeping up with your stupidity. There is no documentary for any of the 3: Starwars, Stargate, Star Trek. They are all fake and are not based on real life. And one last thing, there is no character named “Lando Kardashian” that was in any of the three series of movies/shows. Why can’t you stop being stupid for more than 1 min?
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2:02 am
No, that would never fit with an ADF or American uniform.
There can be cures for asthma. But, not by MEDICINE. That is satanic, naturally.
Wanna sprint sometime? I would probably beat you, despite having a physically below-average fitness.
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2:05 am
Very Stylish?
Bullshit.
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2:06 am
Your stupidity is showing again, maybe you should tuck it back in, Pembrocks. Lando Kardashian sold out Hand Solo (a clear metaphor for masturbation) to Jar Jar Binks, the giant slug looking creature in Stargate 2: The wrath of Khan.
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2:08 am
I cannot support any docu-drama that features a morally deprived character such as “Hand Solo”. Didn’t he sleep with his sister in those films? I can’t wait for God’s anger to lash out and send Hollywood into the Pacific.
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2:10 am
Seriously shut the fuck up already Bruce. Nothing you are saying even remotely makes sense. The guy’s name was Lando Calrissian. Jar Jar Binks wasn’t in any of the movies with this guy. Lando sold Han Solo out to Darth Vader. The giant slug looking creature you put it was Jabba the Hutt. These characters have nothing to do with Stargate and were all in Star Wars. Just stop pretending you know what you’re talking about. All you’re doing is pulling nonsense out now.
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2:13 am
“I cannot support any docu-drama that features a morally deprived character such as “Hand Solo”. Didn’t he sleep with his sister in those films? I can’t wait for God’s anger to lash out and send Hollywood into the Pacific.”
None of them were documentarys. How many times do I have to say it. Hand Solo never slept with a sister. He doesn’t even have a sister in those films. Oh and like your god ever did anything you hoped for.
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2:16 am
I apoligize, Pembrocks. I was mistaken about Jar Jar Binks and Jabba the Hutt. I am getting old and haven’t watched the Star Trek documentaries in quite awhile. Jar Jar Binks was that delightful Jamaican man named Billy Dee Williams while Jabba the Hutt was played by Roseanne Barr. Thank you for your help in clarifying this for me.
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2:20 am
Again nothing you are saying is anything correct. I’m not going to stay here and babysit you. I’m going to leave you to your stupidity you sad sad little boy.
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2:33 am
I do not need a babysitter, Pembrocks, as I am not a sad little boy. I am a well educated business owner. However, I am single, so if you know of any 18-23 year old females that wish to babysit me, I would be more than happy to accept their offer.
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2:37 am
You can’t do anything with them remember Bruce? No sex for marriage. That’s what your religion says. But you’re not educated. If you were, then you would know what you were saying was completely false.
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2:42 am
I never mentioned anything about sex, you pervert. Also, nothing that I said was false. I am a single, well educated, business owner. How is any of that false?
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2:47 am
I was talking about what you said before that. Damn you’re stupid. And if you didn’t want sex why a babysitter between the age 18-23?
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2:58 am
18-23 is the optimum age for a girlfriend. If we do end up getting along, we will get married and her eggs will not be rotting from dropping too close to her separator flap due to old age. I try to plan my life based on best possible scenarios. I’m not a pessimistic atheist Satanist like you, Pembrocks.
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3:03 am
I figured to be at least 26. Maybe you’re seeking a little too young. And you know nothing about me. I don’t want bad outcomes. Who the fuck are you to say that? The only thing you got right was that I’m an Atheist. I don’t worship the devil because I don’t believe he’s real. Next time don’t fucking talk like you know what you’re saying.
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3:12 am
I am 46, not 26. Also, if you are an atheist, you worship Satan because you are going against God. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in them or not, if you are not following God’s will, you are following Satan.
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3:17 am
Why should I care what you believe in? You’re words are meaningless. You obviously don’t know the meaning of Atheism.
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3:22 am
Atheism is the religion of believing in fake science like evolution and the belief that being a gay is not a choice. Most children grow out of it by the age of 20. I hope you will also.
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3:27 am
“Atheism is the religion of believing in fake science like evolution and the belief that being a gay is not a choice. Most children grow out of it by the age of 20. I hope you will also.”
A) Atheism isn’t even a religion.
B) You don’t have to be an Atheist to believe in evolution. There are Christians who believe in it.
C) Again, don’t need to be an Atheist to think homosexuality is not a choice.
D) If you must know (which I’ve said it before) I’m 22. People just don’t “grow” out of it.
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3:34 am
All of your points are false, including your age. We have done extensive research into all visitors to this Holy Site. We know you are a 16 year old who holds a respectable 3.8GPA in High School, and enjoys Klondike bars as a snack. You have a size 9.5 shoe and enjoy cooking Mac and Cheese with chopped up hot dogs in it. Nice try though, kiddo.
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3:42 am
“All of your points are false, including your age. We have done extensive research into all visitors to this Holy Site. We know you are a 16 year old who holds a respectable 3.8GPA in High School, and enjoys Klondike bars as a snack. You have a size 9.5 shoe and enjoy cooking Mac and Cheese with chopped up hot dogs in it. Nice try though, kiddo.”
Not 16. I’m already out of highschool. I’ve never actually ate a Klondike bar before. Always see them but never tried them. My shoe size is 13. Enjoy cooking mac and cheese? Hell no. That’s easy stuff. There’s no joy in cooking that.
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3:43 am
Bryce, if you do that much research on people, that’s kinda creepy. But I would be interested for you to prove it.
Enlighten me on what you “know” about me.
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4:00 am
Pembrocks, you can make up false statements about yourself, but the facts are known by both you and myself.
IDK91295, I do not have access to the Holy Servers files right now because I am not on my secure terminal, but I will answer you when I return home in a week. I only knew Pembrocks info because he used to pride himself on being a chef, but can only cook Mac and Cheese.
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4:04 am
How are you going to state “facts” about me when I know me best? You know nothing about me. Nothing. Nothing you’ve was right. I hate cooking mac and cheese. Eating it sure but cooking it no. Bruce you’re a raging lying prick that can’t tell truth from fiction.
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4:27 am
More false information from Pembrocks. Go figure. “Laughing Out Loud”
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4:31 am
Seriously mate, get a haircut. You might be able to get a theoretiacal 18-26 year old.
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6:32 am
I’ll keep this short for you Bruce. I know how you struggle with reading.
YOU’RE AN IDIOT.
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6:38 am
Also 46 looking for an 18-23 year old?!? That’s wrong. You are double the maximum age limit. I’d aim for women a bit older than half your age. It’s less creepy you need to keep your creepiness levels down as low as possible. You’ve already got the fact you are a xenophobic, racist, homophobic bigoted moron working against you. You can’t afford to throw creep into the mix. Do what I do stick to an age range around your age. Mine is a max of 5 years below or above. Very strict on the lower and being 22 at the moment my max lower limit is 18. Not as strict with the upper limit. For you I reckon you can pull of 10 years either way without becoming a creep given that you are in your mid 40′s
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6:46 am
Laughing out loud, Jonny!
Like me, Bruce has been making sweet love to beautiful women since before you were born. Would you take relationship advice from a foetus?
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6:50 am
1st you say: “Zombies exist and atheists would love to clone Jesus.”
And then you say: “It would be evil by virtue of being a clone. All clones are evil and Satanic by default.”
So if atheist would be able to clone Jesus, he would be evil? hahahahaha
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7:31 am
exbrony
Granted that comes across as relationship advice. And granted usually ridiculous to give relationship advice to someone much older. But that was my point in a way he is much to old to be chasing people my age.
It was in fact a suggestion rather than advice, and it was to make him seem less creepy more than anything to do with relationships. He already has a long list of negative personality traits he doesn’t need to add creepy older guy to that list.
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8:32 am
Oh, I think Bruce does OK for himself.
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8:16 pm
Damn it, Bruce’s stupidity actually managed to give me a headache…How can ANYONE be as absolutely idiotic as Bruce
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8:21 pm
I don’t know.
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12:29 am
I agree with you, Ouroboros. It is very stupid of me to have stayed single for so long after my relationship with Claire fell apart, but I am trying to fix that. Thanks for your concern though, buddy. You certainly are a good friend.
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2:08 pm
“Mine is a max of 5 years below or above. Very strict on the lower and being 22 at the moment my max lower limit is 18. Not as strict with the upper limit.”
So you’re telling us that you’re a barely out of his teens guy who doesn’t want to get done for underage sex but is desperate enough for any old hag? This is a family site, we don’t want to hear your sick fantasies.
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2:25 pm
“I agree with you, Ouroboros. It is very stupid of me to have stayed single for so long after my relationship with Claire fell apart, but I am trying to fix that. Thanks for your concern though, buddy. You certainly are a good friend.”
That’s NOT what I was talking about!
The fact you consistently confused Star Wars, Star Trek, and Stargate together is idiotic
The fact you think those three movies are documentaries is idiotic
The fact you can’t tell fiction from fact is idiotic
And the fact you think you know about Pebrocks is idiotic
I do not care about your relationships
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11:16 pm
I think you might be confused, Ouroboros. Those 3 documentaries were a trilogy because they happened over so many years. First came the Stargate, where they travelled through the T.A.R.D.I.S. with a man named Doctor Who to another planet. The second was called Star Trek because it was about them “trekking” across the new planet. The third was called Star Wars because they were caught up in a civil war that was happening on the planet between the Cybermen and the Tribbles. There was a really cute tribble named Wicket, he was funny. I wish we had tribbles in this galaxy. Hope that clears things up for you, O-Dawg.
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11:46 pm
Bruce, how does it feel to be so stupid and pathetic? I’m asking you since you’re the top authority on being a lowly piece of shit.
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11:53 pm
Hi, L.N. Where have you been lately? It is great to see you again. Are you enjoying the weather lately? I enjoyed a nice meal outside yesterday, but it was slightly raining today.
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11:54 pm
Hey Bruce, did anyone ever tell you that you’re a pervert that needs to have a knife rammed into your throat? Stay away from children!
And please, do tell us why you’re just so incredibly stupid. Is it because your mother hates you? Did your father beat you when you came out of the closet? Is that why you’re so delusional?
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12:02 am
None of that has anything to do with the weather. Are you having conversations with yourself again? Who is the delusional one now? “Laughing Out Loud”
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6:11 am
“I think you might be confused, Ouroboros. Those 3 documentaries were a trilogy because they happened over so many years. First came the Stargate, where they travelled through the T.A.R.D.I.S. with a man named Doctor Who to another planet. The second was called Star Trek because it was about them “trekking” across the new planet. The third was called Star Wars because they were caught up in a civil war that was happening on the planet between the Cybermen and the Tribbles. There was a really cute tribble named Wicket, he was funny. I wish we had tribbles in this galaxy. Hope that clears things up for you, O-Dawg.”
……………..I think your stupidity just gave me a brain tumor…Literally NONE of what you said was true…Stargate, Star Trek, Star Wars, and Dr. Who are four different and completely unrelated things…And you a managed to confuse all of them together…Also, all four of those things are completely fictional, so none of it was real
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9:08 am
Doctor Who is the Shit! how could you mix him up with anything?
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11:16 am
Jeb
I never said I was desperate enough to sleep with or go out with an old hag. I am not desperate in the slightest way. By not AS strict with the upper age limit, I meant that I may to go for someone slightly more than 5 years older. Definitely wouldn’t break my 5 year upper age limit for an old hag. At the moment I’m probably (unsure have yet to encounter a situation where I have had to) willing to add 2/3 years to the upper limit, not out of desperation just as it isn’t that big of a deal. If you must know I’d never go above 10 years difference as in my opinion you start getting on dodgy/creepy territory after that.
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1:28 am
BRUCE! I’m still waiting for this info..
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1:50 pm
“None of that has anything to do with the weather. Are you having conversations with yourself again? Who is the delusional one now? “Laughing Out Loud””
So you call me delusional just because I didn’t give two shits about answering your question about the weather, and yet you can ask me about the weather when I ask you how does it feel to be stupid since you’re the expert on being a total moron.
Hypocrisy, thy name is Bruised Ass.
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4:52 am
“You clearly have no idea what galvanisation is. It is applying a protective layer of zinc (usually to iron or steal) to avoid rusting.
That’s only one of the meanings:
Galvanize
1.to stimulate by or as if by a galvanic current.
2.Medicine/Medical . to stimulate or treat (muscles or nerves) with induced direct current ( distinguished from faradize).
3.to startle into sudden activity; stimulate.
4.to coat (metal, especially iron or steel) with zinc.
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5:04 am
Yor point?
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5:36 am
Jeb’s point was made quite clearly in his comment.
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12:53 am
i honestly cant tell if you’re pro-christwire or anti. also, whenever i read your comments it always sounds like twilight’s voice. i don’t know why.
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12:39 pm
My point is that Jonny clearly has little understanding of what galvanization is himself.
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11:23 am
All definitions I already knew. Still wouldn’t help the cloning process in anyway to galvanise the DNA before beginning.
Sorry I forgot to include the lesser used definitions of the word. Sarcasm in case you missed it Jeb.
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10:10 pm
Galvanoth.
one of the best creatures to ever come from Mirrodin
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5:15 pm
“For years atheists have attempted to hunt down any DNA from Christ, so they may clone and recreate the anti-Christ.”
…He knows…Abe must be stopped…
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5:23 pm
Don’t worry Lucifer, very few people, and no one that really matters, believe Abe’s spouting madness. Your plans are still safe.
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5:22 pm
Jesu fuck u Cristy wot a load of Reverend cum juice
Point1.
A clone is a DNA Copy so according to your christian logic(which itself is a Fucking Joke)
If they clone and recreate the anti-Christ. from this so called DNA of Christ then the original Christ is the anti Christ.
Point 2
“In the country of Stonehenge, France”
STONEHENGE IS IN WILTSHIRE ENGLAND.
Point 3.
“atheist religion”
atheist Deny all religions There is no god/satem or any supreme deity.
Point 4
It’s bad enough that they are allowed to disrespect God, but when you add in all the crimes like sodomy, throwing aborted baby fetus material in their anti-Christ gumbo pot, you know it’s all crimes against decency, Christianity and therefore humanity.
I live 25 “ENGLISH” miles From Stonehenge and have been to many solstice both Summer and Winter ones
Have You ?
Have you Seen the POLICE Presence at these occasions any such act you describe is a public order offense and would be dealt with straight away
ON the egg Balancing i suggest you try to balance one on your nose
do it on Youtube and put the video of it here so we all can see who ends up with egg on their face
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1:34 am
I a offer $1,000.00 to any one who can disprove that you are a homo sexual.
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5:52 am
You lose by default because there’s no proof of homosexuality anywhere in his post.
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10:14 pm
“there’s no proof of homosexuality”
I’ve been saying this for years now and yet homogays still insist that their perversions are completely normal.
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12:03 am
That funny because for us, it is. But what we do in the bedroom is no concern of yours.
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8:02 am
You will always be an idiot Ex-atheist, right?
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6:10 am
Who are you talking about?
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6:17 am
Pretty sure he’s talking about Passion.
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5:27 pm
Well said and hello my fellow Brit. Not attended a solstice at Stonehenge myself but would like to.
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5:35 pm
Why on Earth would you want to hang out with a horde of annoying, self-deluding new-age wankers?
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5:53 pm
Just so I could say I’ve been to Stonehenge on the Solstice really other than that no real reason. Want to see what all the fuss is about. Imagine that they hike up the price to the extreme though.
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5:58 pm
Fair enough. I’m glad I went there when it was relatively quiet and not crowded with idiots who think that they’re carrying on a tradition that was actually snuffed out well over a millennium ago.
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6:12 pm
Been there a few times myself. Never actually went into the fenced area where you have to pay but you can get a pretty good view from just outside and it is quite close to the road anyway. Always used to stop there as a child/mid-late teens on the way to Glastonbury.
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6:16 pm
Glastonbury? The festival?
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6:26 pm
Nope the place. More specifically the tor. Always on agenda if I head towards Devon, Cornwall or anywhere remotely near there. Occasionally headed down that way just to climb the tor.
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6:42 pm
Climb the tor? And then what? Chase a wheel of cheese down it? You Brits have the strangest hobbies.
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6:49 pm
Climb the tor. Relax at the top for a while. Then climb back down. Climbed it because it was there basically. Never had a purpose other than to get to the top and take in the scenery.
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7:21 pm
Claire, the Brits eat Marmite, which is essentially the same thing as Vegemite. Marmite came first, too.
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7:25 pm
Ex, Claire does not know anything that is not related to dilduses.
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7:37 pm
Think you spelled it wrong August. If your gonna make try to make a point spell it correctly.
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7:39 pm
I take pride in not being familiar with those products.
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7:48 pm
Well as long as your bringing it up dildos you should spell it right.
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12:26 am
I think Claire has a little crush on Ex-Brony. Good job, kiddo. I’m happy to see that you are finally moving on after our annulment.
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12:28 am
Oh, Bruce. If only it were something as sweet as that. I think Claire would actually like to see me die painfully. But I still have no idea why.
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12:30 am
That is just how she flirts. Trust me, I have the Facebook messages to prove it.
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10:12 pm
if that’s how she flirts than I am in envy of exbrony.
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5:35 am
STonehenge Update Solstice 2012
well this years solstice was a intresting affair
wetherwise Sunrise was a little overcast and cloudy no rain
As Dawn broke the Cloud magicaly disapeared and two rainbows appeared one was in the east one in the west
Events and entertainment
NOt the usual Solstice as i think its become too commercial ( Entrance Fee was 6 euro’s 66 cents (including a free tube of KY Jelly) an event now
the pre dawn entertainment of watching some girl called mary being crucified on the alter stone was messy (she kept screaming “”im Pregnent and still a Virgin i dont want to Die still a Virgin”")
there was an all night computer lan Party i think one of the main games was Skyrim another was Diablo 111
outside the lan party marque tent there was a constant long line of Partygoers and revelers waiting to ass rape 6 reverends 6 sheep and 6 goats (the refresment tent run out of KY JELLY about 3am) a group of chinese reverlers dressed in a dragon costume done a runner and left the site as no one wanted to pay to shag that dragon not when real ones were due to arrive
Crime wise the boys in blue(Police)
made Lots of arrests mainly they were Americians and they were arresting them for supplying and selling Bath salts laced with Cat Shit
oh it was funny to hear those Yanks scream (they were Screaming “WE HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY WE ARE FROM GODS COUNTRY AND WE ARE Ambassadors OF GOD”)as the police handcuff them daisychain style and roger them with their trunchions
Also a group of funny lookin Mutents who called themselves “ET’s” were arrested for telephone Fraud
on Site Security was provided by a Motercycle gang called Saten’s Slaves (They were nice and respectfull they only Kicked the shit out of you if were wearing a crucifix and refused to sign some sort of contract/disclaimer in your own blood)
one strange and funny thing did happen tho the local TV Station was there to film the Event
every time they turned on their Video Camera’s
The camera man spontanusly combusted
Guess the orginisers plannded this as a Free Barbeque
ah well 6 months wait now till the winer Solstice
Passion Pitt
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5:40 am
I’m trying to figure out if you’re August, Bruce or one of the Ex-s.
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6:38 am
I’d say none of the above. Good imagination; spelling and punctuation need a little work.
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6:44 am
Great imagination there. That or I missed out big time on a massively impressive source of pure banter.
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10:13 pm
this made my fucking day.
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5:29 pm
Guys guys guys. There’s no point arguing with these people. They’re batshit insane. Use this site like I do. For entertainment. It’s a great way to get a few laughs. Like, seriously? “But what atheists won’t tell you is at this site every year, they say Satanic chants and listen to Halestorm. And at the point where they claim alients first taught the ancient cavemens to build the first fire, they put a large pot cauldron and put ‘items’ in it they think belong to Christ. They then use powerful electromagnets to galvanize the DNA, then use the eggs from a virgin lamb to try to create a Christ clone. Some of the bizarre animals and human clones they’ve produced at these rituals we will show and discuss at a later time.” That’s funnier than half the shit on SNL.
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5:35 pm
“That’s funnier than half the shit on SNL.”
I’ve coughed up wads of phlegm that are funnier than half the shit on SNL. The sketches go on way too long.
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6:24 pm
“I’ve coughed up wads of phlegm that are funnier than half the shit on SNL. The sketches go on way too long.”
Agreed…
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6:41 pm
Rottenburoughs, you really are a man of taste and discernment. No wonder August likes you.
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7:46 pm
Taste? Maybe…While I do seem to have some similar tastes with some of the guys here…I’m sure my other tastes outweigh them substantially
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8:28 pm
Lol this guy has no idea what tastes means in this context
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8:55 pm
Oh, I know what Ouro’s talking about.
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10:03 pm
Wait…What are we talking about?!
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10:06 pm
Sweet sweet tobacco.
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11:10 pm
Tobacco? I don’t smoke…I have had experiences with cigarettes before…but never smoked them
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8:29 pm
Experiences with tobacco?
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8:44 pm
Want me to clarify?
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12:16 am
please do, it sounds interesting
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1:12 am
Simple: If you have a dominatrix that smokes, most likely you’re gonna get burned
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1:40 pm
if only. actually, I’m not very fond of fire.
electricity on the other hand…
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8:29 pm
Allow me to rephrase. This stuff is stuff is twice as funny as exbrony thinks he is clever.
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8:55 pm
That’s not saying much.
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1:03 am
it’s even better than most the stuff on cracked, probably because the writers here actually beleive this bullshit.
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5:56 pm
“Guys guys guys. There’s no point arguing with these people. They’re batshit insane. Use this site like I do. For entertainment. It’s a great way to get a few laughs.”
That is exactly why argue with these people. Kills time and entertains. I just find it funny to argue with these people sometimes.
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6:11 pm
I thrive in Dissent
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5:49 pm
“In the country of Stonehenge, France, you can see the atheists have gathered in their ‘Tweet Card’. The message they have put down is ‘blessed summer Solstice’.”
If Stonehenge is in France, then this article must be true. *rolls laughing on the floor*
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8:06 pm
Whilst I strongly agree with ALL of the original post, I’d like to point out to all the *clever* atheist deniers that they are very wrong on some fundamental levels. We have people blathering on about Stoned Henge not being in France! Wrong! haven’t you read your His_Story? England was invaded by Heathen Catholic NorseMen (Normans) in 1066 and has been a Godless suburb of Paris ever since. Also some idiot dated Stoned Henge as 4000 years old. Wrong I’ve attached pictures that clearly show it being built by Pagans in the 1920′s! Thus shall the unclean always be denied His Truth.
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8:18 pm
That is either a PhotoShop or maintaining of the structure. England is still independent. Your husband in between getting you pregnant is feeding you lies.
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8:34 pm
That was to the crazy bitch with the picture, not Kingfisher
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8:33 pm
It’s comments like these that make me realise I’m ashamed to be considered of the same culture as you
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6:50 am
England is independent. Haven’t been ruled by a French Monarch in ages. At the moment our Queen is of German descent. Also Stonehenge (it is all one word) is thousands of years ago. It has however had some work done. Any photo you find of people moving the stones is them PUTTING them back where they should be or building a replica. Not replacing them or building the actual monument from scratch.
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8:09 pm
Damn this godless internets. Here’s the image i meant to attach:
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9:35 pm
I can clearly tell this is photoshopped. a decent job, but something is very off about the payload on the stone columns.
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2:25 am
You can tell from some of the pixels, right?
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4:07 am
And from having seen quite a few shops in my time.
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12:14 am
actually the weathering is different on the rocks
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4:04 am
Oh no a women on the computer again why do they always stray from making dinner and use that evil computer only a MAN should use.
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10:33 pm
They are all homesexual gays, the same athiests who list to Bovine Veal Brides and prance about at their weed speakeasys. I say they should be stripped of the right to
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3:01 pm
xD wow what the fuck is Bovine Veal Brides?! Do you mean Black Veil Brides? And weed is illegal already even though it should be legal its completly safe xD next time say something at least halfway intellegent.
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10:08 pm
weed fucking rules
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12:10 am
Hey guys I forgOt my pot can you guys bring one in? Or I’ll bring the goat (her name is sherry)
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1:13 am
I do not promote or suggest anyone killing you, but you are unfit to live on Earth. After 30 years of research I have determned that gay homosexuals lack human limits as body controls activity. This is PROOF that HOMOsapiens were crated by the SEPRANT when Eve sprung from Adam’s ribs. You ignorant in spite of the evidence that all creation within Universe being based upon opposites, binaries & antipodes, includin Sun/Earth binary relaitve to the human male/female binary and HOMOsapiens.
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2:14 am
Fine. If god created everything, then why did he create the serpent? Why did he give us free will, so we could sin? Why does he not smite every gay right now? Why does he not smite every non-Christian?
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2:20 am
“Children will be blessed for killing Of Educated Adults Who Ignore His Word.” Those words mean He does not smite for the Children of Him smite for Him. That is proven and unless you are a student of NATURAL LAW you will not even under stand those Words and you should smite your own self before you are smote against Thy Will;.
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2:27 am
George, are you familiar with the Time Cube?
http://www.timecube.com/
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2:42 am
ROFL. I was kind of kidding, but now I see I was spot on.
Hello, Gene. How are you doing these days?
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12:24 pm
I can’t make sense of any of this. he keeps using terms only he understands.
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4:14 am
Why did he give us free will? Tell me.
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12:32 pm
He gave us free will so we could be made in his image.
I could be wrong though, but that’s the beauty of it
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12:33 am
Not all Christians believe in free will. There are plenty who believe in predestination.
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12:38 am
Obviously…
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1:05 am
But then, predestination just means that god made people homosexual.
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1:19 am
Kingfisher, that’s true. And the predestination crowd would say that he made them gay so that he could burn them in hell for being gay.
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5:58 am
So much for their kind and loving god.
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1:42 pm
the only explanation: Discord is God.
I think I rather like that idea, actually.
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2:03 am
It’s obviously the great and powerful Faust, you fool!
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11:47 pm
Cobalt storm, I like that name! I want to use it in something now
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2:18 am
Who are you to who deserves to live on this planet? Because you believe in god? Because you’re Christian? You have no right and your research is false. “gay homosexuals” is saying the same thing. They DO have the same body controls as anyone else. There are no Adam or Eve or talking snakes. You have nothing but gibberish.
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2:46 am
Pembroke, seriously. All your questions have answers at timecube.com
It is going to be difficult for you to engage “George” without doing a little background reading.
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2:50 am
I don’t want anything to do with timecube or the creator’s thinking.
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2:53 am
Well you might as well stop talking to Gene/George right now. Save the dead skin cells on your fingertips.
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2:56 am
Is he really that hard to speak to? I’ll take your word of advice.
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2:58 am
Just look at the website to see who you’re dealing with.
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3:04 am
O-o what kind of person can make that site?
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3:08 am
Gene/George can!
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4:22 am
Time cube is goddamn impossible to read.
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4:26 am
Yet every word is true. Just ask Gene.
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5:26 am
Does it go on about dem homogays and Mexicans? And how the left wing are ruining america?
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6:36 am
Read it for yourself… it’s one of the treasures of the internet.
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11:01 pm
What is this I don’t even
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2:37 am
What’s the difference between a gay homosexual & a straight homosexual? Please, I’m interested.
“Unfit to live on Earth”
Where do you suppose gays live? The moon? Impossible as of right now. What about bisexuals? You can’t say half of them are unfit.
Well…if Adam & Eve is “true,” then aren’t we all related & engaging in some distant form of incest? Which I believe is frowned upon
You do know that homosapien means human..right?
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6:25 am
“After 30 years of research I have determned that gay homosexuals lack human limits as body controls activity.”
By writing this sentence, you did prove your inteligence. (which is low)
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2:11 am
And they aren’t even TRYING to hide their agenda anymore. The heathen witch whores fondling their maypoles and spewing out HALFdemon child HELLspawn dance upon the GRAVES of the founding fathers and the TOOLS of the ILLUMINATI elite SHOCKFORCES to bring about the Revelation HELLFIRE inferno PLAGUE oF HUMANITY upon EVILDOERS and unsmitten UNREPENTING FOOLS who don’t even deserve to be WALKING upon
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2:14 am
You KNOW, there REALLY ISN’T any reason to CAPITALIZE many WORDS in your sentences. ALSO, nothing YOU HAVE said many ANY sense.
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2:16 am
Why doesn’t he just do Rapture now?
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9:00 am
You for get that a childrens’ enviroment is the Home, and Home is the symbol shown by not some lesbian dyke’s fantasys of fantasies of May POLES but GOD’S GLOW of light through windows at night when you are across the street in, your parked car watching the town ‘s notary public ‘through his windows and the TV is what makes that glow and uyou wonder What Love Is There In that HOUSE when his wife is no dout a LESBIAN dyke. The TV GLOW in that moment is the TV GLOVE OF GOD, telling you a MESSAGE with flickering light through the WINDOWS. IT IS GOD who gives you the message to smite EVIL doers like the notary public and his LESBIAN dyke wife. The Chalenge of Life is for GOD’S CHILDREN to accept the TV FLICKER or to DENY IT and DENY GOD’S GLOVE
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9:07 am
THat was a PARABLE not a real example
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6:03 am
Learn to spell, ease up on the Caps Lock key, it will make what you say a lot easier to read and understand.
Actually, scratch the understanding bit. What are you smoking?
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2:00 pm
I hate to say this, but you do really seem like a Timecube sort of guy.
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7:53 pm
What?
Why can’t you make sense
Instead of spouting lies
Refrigerator
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7:08 pm
Your haiku are getting better…Except line 2 is now missing a syllable >.<
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10:16 pm
“you are only spouting lies”
I hope I’m not coming off as a prick with my editing. I only mean well.
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3:26 am
Lesson time! -clears throat-
1. Stonehenge is in England.
2. Atheists don’t believe in Satan, like they don’t believe in a higher power.
3. “In the country of Stonehenge, France,” see point 1, but if you still are stupid enough to put something like this, it would be city, not country.
4. Summer solstice; originally a pagan holiday. Some Christians associate it with the nativity of John the Baptist.
5. Making Atheism illegal directly violates the US Constitution. Freedom of religion.
On a side note, Paul or even Obama is better than Romney.
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9:30 am
Obama Hussaine was an Moslem from Indochina. I dont know how you know paul but sell ing a used transmission for $800 and say its new smells like AL QUADA to me. i say he is he’s a MOSELM too
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9:35 am
No more copy-pasting from Timecube?
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12:37 pm
seriously, the people at Christwire have some powerful shit and I want some
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1:18 pm
Barack Hussein Obama* a* Muslim* don’t* selling* saying* it’s* Qaeda* I* Muslim*
Has your memory failed to the point where you can’t remember proper spelling and punctuation?
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3:50 am
“For years atheists have attempted to hunt down any DNA from Christ”
Why would we hunt for something we know is not real?
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1:14 am
christ was a real person, but most likely a vary charismatic schizophrenic, like Joan of arc.
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6:18 am
Most of the crap is in the articles. The real awesomeness is in the comments.
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6:56 am
Usually the way with christwire.
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9:43 am
“Most of the crap is in the articles. The real awesomeness is in the comments”. I agree with you, but only because of the attrocious grammer found within the comment section. If the people that are trying to deny Gods word would concentrate on their grammer with the same zeal that they put into being power bottoms, the comedy content in the comment boards would decrease.
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12:11 am
Graham Crackers
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10:44 am
All you liberal left-winged haters are arguing something you know nothing about. Christians have the Bible and our lives are guided by Scripture. What do you have? Next point, how do any of you know what technology we have to clone humans. Have you ever heard of “Top Secret” technology. It’ll be 10 or more after they have cloned a human before you and I will hear about it in the news.
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1:08 pm
What do we have? We have logic. We have reason. We have science and technology.
How do we know? Ask a scientist if it’s possible. The first ever cloned creature was a sheep, and she had defects. If cloning something like a sheep is impossible to do without defects, what makes you think it’s possible to clone a human without them? Why would you even want to?
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6:38 pm
“All you conservative right-winged haters are arguing something you know nothing about.”
Fixed that for ya.
“Christians have the Bible and our lives are guided by Scripture. What do you have?”
A free mind.
“Next point, how do any of you know what technology we have to clone humans.”
Because such technology is ground-breaking and could be used for an extremely large variety of things. We can clone animals and feed off of them, we can clone all kinds of other food to relieve the whole world hunger issue, we can clone people to act as doubles and bodyguards and so forth. Such technology is quite awhile away, and to suggest that you can do it with a kettle and some random items is absolute insanity.
“Have you ever heard of “Top Secret” technology. It’ll be 10 or more after they have cloned a human before you and I will hear about it in the news.”
Top secret tech usually involves something that deals with top secret information, such as possible war weapons, or if aliens do exist, and so on.
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3:56 pm
“All you liberal left-winged haters are arguing something you know nothing about. Christians have the Bible and our lives are guided by Scripture. What do you have? Next point, how do any of you know what technology we have to clone humans. Have you ever heard of “Top Secret” technology. It’ll be 10 or more after they have cloned a human before you and I will hear about it in the news.”
You class everyone who don’t agree with you as “liberal left winged hater”?
What do i have? Hm… a life, which i can live as i want, and i don’t need a book for that. Family and friends who love me as i am. And same things as FreakzoidVocaloid did mention.
Those “top secret” tehnologys must be totaly “top secret”, if you did hear about them.
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10:46 am
I dont know about this, you do realise how completely illogical it would be to do this. If the scenario stated were to happen, we would ALL die, so unless all atheists are suicidal, you have no case.
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9:05 pm
Can you all please stop this stupid arguement (I may not have spelled that correctly, please correct me if that was wrong)? This is so annoying. Can’t you all just be adults and respect each other’s beliefs? Some people choose to be Christian. If they think that’s the right path then don’t try to tell them they’re wrong. And if someone’s an atheist, then so what if hey don’t believe in a god? It’s their choice. Please, grow up already and stop being so immature..
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2:45 am
Children, you must know this is a satirical site, yes? And, yes, I like it. The truth be known. I say it.
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4:07 pm
omg.. really? :O
*sarcasm off*
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7:52 pm
Lol @ this entire article. Thank you for providing such entertaining material for me to laugh at. Truly made my night.
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2:32 pm
CHristwire Christian attack’s Innocent Girl
A woman who stabbed a 13-year-old to death in a Doncaster park said she was being “demonically Christianised”, a pagan priestess has told a court.
Hannah Bonser, 26, is accused of murdering Casey Kearney in Elmfield Park in February.
Sheffield Crown Court heard Ms Bonser had told the owner of a pagan bookshop that she had gone to London from Doncaster to escape CHristwire Christian’s.
Casey Kearney killer ‘told pagan priestess of CHristwire Christian attempted attacks against her
Ms Bonser of Cusworth House, Doncaster, denies murder but admits killing Casey.
Dr Christina Oakley-Harrington told the court how Ms Bonser had turned up at her pagan and spiritualist bookshop in central London in September 2011.
Dr Oakley-Harrington, who told the court she was a pagan priestess, said the defendant “looked absolutely dreadful” and was “someone who was in terrible distress”.
The whole of Doncaster was filled with Christian’s that were attacking her”
Dr Christina Oakley-Harrington Pagan priestess
She said Ms Bonser “was scared out of her wits by something”.
The bookshop owner told the jury: “She said that they were after her, they were going to kill her.
“She was trying to find someone who could Protect her.
“She thought she was being Christianally attacked by an international, invisible conspiracy.
“It was possibly the Catholics, possibly the Mormons. Later in conversation on the next day she said it might be the Christwire.
“The whole of Doncaster was filled with Christian’s that were attacking her – part of this international conspiracy which was why she could never go back to Doncaster.”
The former university lecturer described how she was extremely worried about Ms Bonser and took her to a homeless shelter and Charing Cross police station, but was turned away by both.
She said she let the defendant sleep in the shop until she convinced social workers to attend.
Dr Oakley-Harrington said she accompanied her to a nearby hospital where she was sectioned.
She said she did not know the defendant until she turned up at her shop.
At the opening of the defence case, David Fish QC told the jury Ms Bonser will not be giving evidence.
The trial continues.
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12:03 am
How evil can you really be, Claire? You should be wishing great health on this beautiful man of God.
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12:08 am
Abe is a national treasure.
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12:08 am
Yet you all wish death upon those you don’t agree with. You consider anyone who isn’t a white Conservative Christian or who thinks that a white Conservative Christian isn’t a ‘righteous force for good’ is your enemy and you want them ALL dead.
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12:56 am
That’s the difference between people and God and heathens. People of God cherish human life and pray for their enemies just as they do their brothers and sisters in Christ. Heathens wish death upon those that don’t follow their rigid Christ-hating agenda.
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1:00 am
“People of God cherish human life and pray for their enemies just as they do their brothers and sisters in Christ. Heathens wish death upon those that don’t follow their rigid Christ-hating agenda.”
You can’t say that when you support mad men who want to drop nukes on countries just because they aren’t America. You’re basically saying that you hope that they pray to God and find Jesus moments before their death at your hands.
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1:00 am
Are you blind Cassidy? There are articles on this site that say we should nuke other countries because they don’t agree with your beliefs. Now you’re trying to say we are? Are you really that fucking blind? You human-hating religion wants death on mankind. You would rather see the world destroyed than have different beliefs and opinions.
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10:07 pm
“people of God Cherish human life”
whelp, that rules me out. I hate people.
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1:00 pm
CLARE a WHORE
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