• Dastardly Chinese Invade America!

    June 1, 2012 6:15 pm 114 comments

    As any American schoolboy will tell you, Commie Red China has a standing army of some 620 million brainwashed automatons ready to kill for whatever insane reason Ho Chi Minh says.
    Now hear this! The sneaky Chinamen have already invaded this great nation and nobody has noticed, except Comrade Obama and his brain-dead Politburo. They set the whole thing up and have sleepwalked America into a nightmarish red hell without the Chinamen even mobilizing their zombie army.
    Think about it – every time you walk down any street in any town from sea to shining sea, you walk past solid proof that this is the case. At every crosswalk there’s a sign (usually a suspicious yellow color) that says ‘Xing’.
    Baxters Dictionary of Proper American contains no such word! That’s because it’s red Chinese.
    They may all look the same to us, but to the sinister oriental these strange symbols are secret messages, undermining our freedom and packed solid with state of the art surveillance and HD video equipment spying on our every move. They look like metal but don’t be fooled. If you touch one you’ll quickly realize they’re made of communist bamboo.
    Some say this is a ridiculous idea and that ‘Xing’ is short for ‘Crossing’. That’s what the Godless commies want you all to think! Last time I checked this was a Christian nation and any fool can see that an X is not a Cross. If our Sweet Lord Jesus Christ was crucified on an X he would have died spread-eagled like a cheap Louisiana prostitute, and not even the Godless muslims that murdered him would be that low-down.
    I urge every Christian in this great nation to go into the street right now and tear down these dastardly abominations and re-cycle the alien technology they contain for use in an overwhelming drone attack on their festering cities to rid us all of this communist menace once and for all.

    God bless you all.

    Albert S. Trudeau (Aluminum siding and sign removal contractor, Baton Rouge La.)

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    About The Author
    mark waldron I read the bible religiously and do my duty as a citizen no matter what. I do these things, and some others, in Rancho Cucamonga, California. My passion in life is guns. I have an impressive selection of firearms covering all possible situations where the deployment of ordinance is deemed necessary. I have never been in the military but I have always followed its creed and I feel honor-bound to project the power of the United States by the overwhelming use of armed aggression if and when the Supreme Commander of The Armed Forces orders it. I stand upright, steadfast and ready to shoot.

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