Family Values Crisis: What Adele’s Bastard Child Means To You
Adele Laurie Blue Adkins is pregnant. All of the mainstream media outlets have reported on this travesty in a congratulatory tone, signaling our so-called society’s further descent into hellfire. Not even our friends at FOX news have taken the correct stance in denouncing this assault to family values. No Adele, it is not okay to have a child out of wedlock. The good, hardworking Christians of the world face enough persecution from the homogay agenda brutally sodomizing the sanctity of marriage. We do not need a morbidly obese crooner further sullying the holy waters of proper marriage. (Anyone else find it ironic that Adele’s last name is Adkins, yet she weighs more than two Smart Cars in the trunk of a Bentley? Perhaps she should cut out the carbohydrates!)
For those of you who are unfamiliar, Adele is a British rhythm and blues singer who dazzled audiences with her Afro-Americanized Christina Aguilera-esque minstrel show. She cites the heathen “Spice Girls” as a major influence. It should not be a surprise that modeling herself after that sinful group of race mixers and purveyors of bad taste has resulted in her personal life becoming one Godless tragedy after another. She even went so far as to have performance enhancing laser microsurgery to cheat at singing. She has been very successful with her dramatized break-up songs, which should come as no surprise considering her deviant upbringing.
“Brother Ford, what do you mean by ‘deviant upbringing’”?, you are most likely asking yourselves. Adele’s evil out of wedlock pregnancy is what should be expected from someone who came from a broken home herself. According to sources, Adele was born to a single teenage mother. This is the kind of thing Christian thinkers know to perpetuate itself among the unholy. Women born to single mothers become single mothers themselves, and continue the ghettoization of the family unit. Poor Adele and everyone like her have a very hard time figuring out where to send their Father’s Day cards.
What does this mean to you? Well, Christian brothers and sisters, this means we must strengthen our resolve. There is a war raging, and we must be prepared to don the Armor of Christ, and win the War On Families. Strikes occur daily, with cultists Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes making a mockery of marriage, the homogays demanding to legalize their abominations against the American family, and the mainstream liberal media supporting these assaults by reporting them without the righteous condemnation they deserve.
What can we do? One word: Boycott. Refuse to purchase Adele’s satanic recordings. Picket Adele’s concerts of debauchery. Why stop there? Boycott Oreo for their homogay pride rainbow cookies. Boycott rainbow trout. Boycott Tom Cruise movies. Erase your Dawson’s Creek videocassettes. Boycott that sacrilegious strumpet, Madonna (whom you should have been boycotting anyway) for calling Adele “brilliant” in her faux-British way of speaking.
Finally, a message for Adele: Adele, please find a Christian white man to marry. Repent. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Apologize to the public for your indiscretions. Abandon your ghetto style of music and use your God given talents to spread the good word. Thank friend of Christwire, Sarah Palin for your success, as nobody in America would know who you are were it not for sister Palin’s ratings grabbing appearance on Saturday Night Live, which you thanklessly rode the coattails of. Fix your train-wreck life, because I would hate to have your bastard child grow up to be someone like you.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Frederick Ford
Persecuted Christian Warrior in Christ's armor, Korean War Veteran, White, Republican Man. More endangered than that owl the hippies cry about.
6:16 pm
Who the fuck are you to tell others that they shouldn’t be pregnant? Or who they should marry?
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6:20 am
Well he’s a fat guy living in his mommy’s house.
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5:35 pm
He is a fat guy… in a website that deems fat people to be gay.
Who the fuck he is to say Adele is fat?
He should not cut the carbs… he should cut himself… with a blade… made of laser
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6:30 pm
Freddy, Freddy, Freddy… I always knew you were just a hateful bastard and this article just proves how petty you can…Why don’t you just drop the hate and learn to love life?
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7:19 pm
Brother Frederick preaching God’s word once again, and other commenters fail to be open-minded to your true intentions: following God’s word.
Bravo
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6:22 am
But your so called god is able to get tricked into burning stuff why would we want to hear the word of some loser who can’t even tell he’s getting tricked.
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7:36 pm
Oh yes!! Do preach on, Freddie. I’m getting used to the foolishness that lies under the racism and bigotry. Once you remove that part, your “stories” are quite……..humorous.
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7:11 am
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8:25 pm
On the one hand, this article was pretty mean-spirited, but on the other, I didn’t think you considered it possible for the British to go to heaven, so that seems like a positive step.
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9:02 pm
How could they tell she was even pregnant in the first place? She’s almost as hefty as Christina Aguilera!
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9:36 pm
“No Adele, it is not okay to have a child out of wedlock.”
As long as she can provide for it, what does it matter? And what if she gets married before the fetus becomes a baby and is born?
“(Anyone else find it ironic that Adele’s last name is Adkins, yet she weighs more than two Smart Cars in the trunk of a Bentley? Perhaps she should cut out the carbohydrates!)”
Fatty Ford, lay off the cheeseburgers, you pile of lard.
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9:55 pm
Let me guess, you came from a broken home. You’re probably a victim of sexual assault, you seek out fulfillment via the sexual attention of strange men, and you’ve lost touch with your relationship with God. Just accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, instead of stalking me and trolling my articles. You have an unhealthy obsession with this “pile of lard”. I don’t like you in that way, Ellen. Give it up. At the very least, would you take a night class and learn how to read and comprehend? You’re constantly demonstrating that you are unable to understand the written word. Just don’t kill yourself, whatever you do. There’s no coming back from that.
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10:16 pm
Oh goody, looks like the site swallowed the comment I made. In the event that it’s lost forever, here’s a brief recap of it:
You’re wrong on all accounts, I’ve lived a good life, I’m a straight male who doesn’t give a shit about you, you think too highly of yourself, and you’re confusing me with yourself when it comes to reading issues since you can’t, well, READ.
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10:57 pm
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
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11:19 pm
Fatty Ford displays his inability to read. Are you a bit Dyslexic, Lard-ass?
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3:01 am
By the looks of him he’d swallow anything that comes his way
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7:04 am
Don’t say that, he might strike back with the “glandular disorder” excuse again.
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7:08 am
Strange men? Yes, you’re very strange indeed.
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7:24 am
“Let me guess, you came from a broken home. You’re probably a victim of sexual assault, you seek out fulfillment via the sexual attention of strange men…”
…and there’s the answer to ANY question that gets asked; judgmental demeaning. I suppose I shouldn’t be too shocked. After all, it is the usual MO for your ilk.
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2:58 am
Fat Idiot calling a average sized one fat… you trying to make yourself feel better or did you not get out of act name calling?
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4:27 pm
Typical bully behavior – the easiest way to feel big is to make other people feel small. Problem is, he’s already big.
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6:25 pm
Was that English? DID YOU NOT GET OUT OF ACT NAME CALLING? DID YOU NOT GET OUT OF ACT NAME CALLING? AHHHHH!!! WHAT DOES IT ALL NEED?
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6:26 pm
IT NEEDS TO MAKE SENSE!
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9:11 pm
Hmmm…I see you’ve taken to talking to yourself. Well, I guess at least SOMEONE will be listening.
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1:18 pm
why the caps lock son? Are you about to eat another person?
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6:39 pm
Please tell me you’re not going to turn into a copy of that old guy who can’t spell and rapes the caps lock button with every post.
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6:42 pm
Did Fatty Fred fail English class in the first grade?
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5:16 am
Now here is a comparison Case Study
A Married women is Pregnant
She is an Adulteress as she is not Married to the Father of the child
The Father of the child Had his Pleasure and abandoned her to raise the child
The The Child is Born a BASTARD
he is also Jewish as was his Mother (they trace ethnic race on the matricidal side)
The Husband Claims he never consummated the Marriage and the wife confirms this so the child is not his but he Raise’s the child as his own
The Child grows up to manhood knowing he is a Bastard( He Knows who his Father is)
this Child Shuns the company of women never marries as he prefers the company of men (HOW GAY IS THAT)
He Dies A “Convicted Terrorist”
Sounds Familier Christwire Jihadist!!!
heard this news Before have You
give you a Clue
the women went on to be a world wide Celebrity
Her son was A “Convicted Terrorist” and achieved fame /notoriety after death
Post your comments on who you think i’m refering to
Dont worry about libel and slander as all people concerned died a while ago
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8:46 am
Was it Timothy McVeigh? Or Yeshua ben Pantera?
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5:15 pm
…Jesus?
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6:28 pm
Must be yo mama.
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6:40 pm
Yeh and that would make me Jesus posting from the other side
Well i suppose that is true i am posting from the other side ( of the Atlantic ocean )
“”Daddys”" got your Number Freddie boy (Snigger)
he says your Bitch ass is assigned to his employee in the basement
answer tomorrow after your Usual American Christwire crew / cronies can view and possibly answer
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5:25 am
Answer time
Mary mother of Jesus Christ (Adulteress)
Jesus Christ Bastard Jewish Convicted Terrorist(Executed)
I once gave birth and it was adopted by a christian family here is my baby’s picture
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http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PSUQvc91X4A/TUM5vboraCI/AAAAAAAAAAQ/IVKf7TXHMis/s1600/IMG_0103.jpg
[/img]
They sent me a picture of the toddler
Are you my lost child
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5:34 am
are you on this site my son
you should have a copy of your birth picture
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6:53 pm
Ooh, resorting to “yo mama” pokes now? Everybody clear out, there’s a badass coming through.
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7:14 am
Im not sure how I ended up finding this terrible website? This article is terrible! Would Jesus have written anything like this about someone? No! Christians should flee from anything this man would write. He does not understand God’s word and is trying to lead you astray.
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4:50 pm
Mr. Frederick…. This is a satirical site. The articles here suposed to be funny. Such articles like this however, aren’t funny at all. I mean seriuos… calling her baby a bastard? It’s not even born and it didn’t do anything wrong and you call it a bastard?
If you consider yourself as a “christian”, than you should be ashemd of yourself, by calling an unborn baby a bastard.
Also, as the 1st comment says… Who the hell are you to tell people, if they can be pregnant or not?
And making fun about her weight (while you’re also fat, acording to your profile picture), isn’t funny aswell.
Now let’s go do some quotes.
“Women born to single mothers become single mothers themselves, and continue the ghettoization of the family unit.”
You have no evidence of that.
“Strikes occur daily, with cultists Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes making a mockery of marriage, the homogays demanding to legalize their abominations against the American family, and the mainstream liberal media supporting these assaults by reporting them without the righteous condemnation they deserve.”
There are no “homogays”.
“Refuse to purchase Adele’s satanic recordings. Picket Adele’s concerts of debauchery. Why stop there? Boycott Oreo for their homogay pride rainbow cookies. Boycott rainbow trout. Boycott Tom Cruise movies. Erase your Dawson’s Creek videocassettes. Boycott that sacrilegious strumpet, Madonna (whom you should have been boycotting anyway) for calling Adele “brilliant” in her faux-British way of speaking.”
Who are you to tell people what to do?
“Adele, please find a Christian white man to marry.”
And who are you to tell others, who they should marry?
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8:53 am
What happened to “judge not lest ye be judged”? If there is a god, which there isn’t but lets pretend, then you’re going to hell.
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1:25 pm
She looks like a whale.
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4:00 pm
Judgemental prick
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1:58 pm
And you look like a dracula August.
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3:41 pm
Tisk, tisk
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9:07 pm
Claire strikes out because she has body issues. Jesus will forgive her, if she just asks. Jenny Craig, on the other hand, is not so forgiving.
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9:11 pm
fatty calling other people fat? Fredprick stop committing sin.
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9:14 pm
“Jenny Craig, on the other hand, is not so forgiving.”
Voice of experience, perhaps, Freddie?
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7:07 am
That one had me laughing for a while. Nice shot. xD
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