• Gays Trick God Into Burning Focus on Family Hometown in Colorado Springs, Colorado

    June 28, 2012 2:04 pm 79 comments
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  • The awesome power of God has been accidentally unleashed on Focus on the Family’s Christian headquarters in Colorado Springs, Colorado.  The Gay was able trick God into smiting Colorado Springs after they sneaked boxes of Rainbow-colored Oreo cookies into store shelves in the city, causing the moral people there to buy them and inadvertently give support to gay marriage laws.

    Shock and awe have fallen upon the Christian city of Colorado Springs, Colorado, after God was tricked into unleashing his fiery weather wrath usually reserved for the sodomite megalopolis of Southern California.  Colorado was put into God’s radar of fury after a pack of debauchery prone gays bootlegged crates of Rainb0w-colored Oreos from San Francisco and into store shelves in the dead of night.

    Bodies drenched in sweat from hours of thrusting exhausted thighs and flexing summer-tanned bodies against each other in ecstasy, gays in Colorado Springs revel in the fiery destruction as they hold a massive sinstick glow rave orgy in the midst of damnation they caused to fall upon the city. God was upset because he thought all Colorado City stores agreed to sell the Rainbow-colored Oreos the gays had planted there.

    Rainbow-colored Oreos are a new mind-altering food that Obama’s gay controlled FDA has approved for human consumption.  These Rainbow Oreo cookies have already caused a 37% increase in homosexuality and many bizarre actions to take place.

    Local woman Carlie Frances reports, “One moment the sky was bright and we were getting ready to take the kids to the pool.  Then, everything suddenly turned bring orange and a booming voice from the sky said, “No HOMOS!”  It was at this moment I knew something was wrong, I knew it was something like a Mount Vesuvian doom coming upon us.”

    Nearly 40,000 people have had to be evacuated from the city and the only people staying behind are packs of gays, who are throwing a ‘bareback firefighter’ themed rave where they say they will ‘put out the flames with their passions of lust’.

    There has been no miraculous signs of apology issued from heaven, though we all know this treachery means that the gays have gone too far.  To plant gay items in a store and spread them through a city, so you trick God into smiting an innocent people has much to be atoned for.

    This plan of the gays prove why they are so dangerous:  by default,  a gay’s mind is more crafty and meticulous than a normal mans.  They can see things with the insight of a woman but the aggressiveness born from their primarily wasted Y chromosome.  That is all a recipe for nefarious plots that can trick the masses.  This is why we must stop their main goal and plan, to get us all to accept gay marriage.

    If we accept gay marriage, we will all end up sodomized freely and it will be legal.  God will just be forced to destroy us all and we all know that gays tend to be anarchists.

    It remains unconfirmed if God plans to gently rescue Colorado Springs with a rainshower or if they city will be allowed to suffer, since they were caught with very gay things in their city and should have had better Homeland Security in place to prevent such items from being smuggled into their town.

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    About The Author
    Thad Connely The gentleman of choice, Thad Connely brings experience of two familial generations of news coverage and hard biting reports.

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