I am now on bed rest and have to keep this brief. As you know, last week I suffered a great grand malo heart attack and doctors say it was just too much stress. My heart is so big with love for all of you and all the people I am trying to save, that it just cannot keep up sometimes. I read the kind words my brother in Christ and adopted son, Dudson Williams, wrote about me and it makes my heart happy and makes it feel healed.
To all of you who had unkind words, know this. Old Abe still loves you and I cannot wait to start preaching again. In the interim while I recover I encourages all of you to keep the faith and keep warning sinners how they will burn in hell.
I heard that while I was down and not able to pray and preach, that some new gay viral drug called ‘bath salts’ (a normal man would only use Lava soap, not any froofy bath salts) has caused a new zombie Apocalypse to break out. I’ve seen some of the headlines but feel in my spirit my brothers and sisters in Christ, that while the gays share some natural blame in this we must also make sure we find some bands who are responsible too. Zombies are like mindless little dancing ravers, slobbering all over you and trying to eat up your daughter as they mindlessly gyrate to the rythm of Satan.
But I digress. I love you all and cannot wait to be back in full force.
Following is a eulogy song my friends Jimmy Eat World were to perform if I had passed, but we will save this song for others who need comfort right now and not as fortunate as I.