• Is Instagram Poisoning My Child With Porn?

    June 30, 2012 3:04 pm 117 comments

    by 

    Mark E. Figs

     

    Instagram is one of the most vile internet applications online today. Described as “a fast, beautiful and fun way to share your photos with friends and family” this description is blatantly false. Instagram is a gateway to pornography and is responsible for ruining countless numbers of famiies.

    How many times has your father excused himself from the dinner table to “use the bathroom” only to be caught in said bathroom, masturbating himself to a horribly-filtered photo of some flat-chested Jezebel or enticing Asian ladyboy? How many mothers have discovered their child’s horrible marijuana habit by browsing through Instagram’s photos and seeing pictures of deadly pot labeled with hashtags such as “KushArmy” or 4204SATAN?”

    Lets not even get into the meaning of the name of the application itself. “Instagram” might fool you into thinking it’s about photography but in reality, Instagram is really the name of a reliable pot dealer. Users are allowed to click a special “filter” on the app that is designed to deliver a fresh gram of marijuana pot directly to their location. Do we want our children to be hand-delivered fresh Guatemalan pot when they could be sharing hilarious bible verses with one another?

    Another reason that Instagram is destroying God’s pure American society is because it gives women a false sense of confidence. Women are to be clean and prepped for marriage and child-rearing. Instagram teaches these women that they can puff out their breasts, make an ugly duckling face and hundreds of people will reward this with “likes” despite these women doing absolutley nothing! Look at any “cam-whore” (slang for a woman who uses Instagram) and see they have thousands of followers, when people like Joel Osteen and the Rev. Billy Graham have 0 FOLLOWERS. What is the basis for this sinful sexism? Why should women get the praise instead of God when it is GOD who created them? Why are they being celebrated for taking a photo instead of raising four-to-six children and/or creating a delicious bean dip? Instagram is inspiring women to be confident about very little and that has this country in grave danger.

     

    (typical Instagram user, taking advantage of the application’s various filters and effects.)

    The main reason Instagram should be banished to hell, is because it is a gateway to pornography. Instagram is the number one supplier and distributer of pornography and is the easiest way your child can get hooked on the sinful practice of having sex on camera. The Instagram doesn’t ban or disallow photos of hardcore nudity or penetration, so your child has access to tons of of photos of drug-addicted bisexual hipsters baring their heroin-scar addled breats and buttocks or having filthy, unclean sex with one another — all disguised as “artistic” because it has a “lo-fi” or “Valencia” filter applied! Instagram is even more evil than regular adult movies, because ANYONE can look or get Instagram — and in turn get addicted to pornography.

    Pride is a sin condemned by the Bible. It was the basis for the original sin. So why is pride celebrated on Instagram; is it because Pride is able to be filtered and cropped and uploaded to the internet? The virtual “circle jerk” that Instagram has created is disgusting; by heaping praise upon people with little-to-no talent and no artistic merit, we are creating a society that stresses that it’s ok to have no ambition, as long as you broadcast it online. Then you will be ok and people will accept you for being amazing and unique.

    All of this contributes to Instagram’s degradation of families. It turns close-knit familial units into porno-consuming strangers to one another. Mothers and fathers are less concerned with going to Sunday service and more concerned with framing their sinful non-missionary style sex in an artistic manner. Daughters spend time experimenting with push-up bras and tampons and document it all with Instagram. Our sons begin to dabble in pederasty as they publish shirt-less photos of them “bro-ing” out by the pool and in turn garner a significant amount of “sugar daddies” who desire to have Greek-style gay anal sex intercourse with them. Dinner time is reduced to a series of shutter clicks as everyone rushes to photograph their meals and label them with the hideous hashtag “foodporn” — yes even our delectable foods are subjected to this disgusting porno treatmeant.

    It’s for those reasons above that I am stressing a boycott of Intsagram. I am tired of this pot-dealing enabler of sin being able to masquerade as a beneficial function to our American teens. If you or anyone you know is using Instagram and would like to get help, please contact this hotline.

    Let me pull you from Satan’s grasp and help seat you into God’s lap.

    Figs out.

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    About The Author
    Mark E. Figs Mark is an award-winning children's author, and Christian Conspiracy Theorist can be found on Facebook and Twitter -- (Mark E. Figs)

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