• North Las Vegas Disaster, ESPN Sports Commentators Unanimously Vote to Give Lebron James’ Career Fellatio

    June 24, 2012 8:28 pm 14 comments
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  • Shaquille O’Johnson, Craig Sager, Kenny ‘Astroglide’ Drexler and Charles Barkley all sit around, making fun of Lebron James only weeks ago.  This week was a new ballgame, however, after the Heat’s victory over the OKC Thunder, where Charles Barkely lead the charge for commentators to make up to Lebron James by giving his career oral fallations.

    Chaos and confusion was the scene in North Las Vegas this weekend, all after a group of commentators unanimously voted to give verbal felatio to the career of Lebron James following his NBA championship victory.  All last NBA season, every single commentator talked major smack on Lebron James.  They called him immature, they made fun of his headbands and even though nearly 6 billion people have never done it, they made fun of Lebron James for not winning a NBA title.

    Apparently 27-years-old is too ancient and old not to be declared one of the best 12 basketball players on Earth.

    But in a move so common to media right now, the collective whole of all commenators jumped on the Lebron James bandwagon after the Heat literally spanked the Okies right back to their Dust Bowl state where they belong.  It was not even close and Lebron James made Kevin Durant and Muslimbeard Harden cry like little schoolgirls who just wet their knickers in front of little Bobby.

    Perhaps the loudest mouthed detractor of Lebron was Charles Barkley, who atoned for his badmouthing by dressing up like Serena Williams and enticing Lebron James with the wigged testerone hooker look:

    “Oh Lebrawny Arms, I was so wrong.  Is there anything I can pucker up and do to make it all better.  You’re now one of the greatest ‘ten players of all time’, even though weeks ago I called you a ringless clown.”

    And though the thoughts of a Charles Barkely in Heat may scare the Bejesus out of you, it gets even worse.

    Until this point in history, Skip Bayless has been the biggest critic of Lebron James.  If Lebron James were a slug, Skip Bayless would sell his soul to Satan to become a bag of salt.

    The man’s burning desire to burn every aspect of Lebron James was well known, but even he has joined the O faced suckerface commentators in clamoring to give Lebron James a career Lewinsky.

    Below you will witness Skip Bayless with red hair extensions, shocking his man jangles all around and enticing Lebron with all sorts of eractic hedonism!  We can tell you why there was a North Las Vegas disaster today, and the bus full of commenators headed to see Lebron and give an ‘oral report’ on his greatness will tell you why.

    WARNING:  The following image shows Skip Bayless and all sorts of other commentators preparing to give Lebron James’ career a bit of oral hocus pocus.  Please demand all women/children shield their eyes from this sickness and not witness this travesty of news coverage.

    With all these commentators blowing good words upon him, it’s reported Lebron James’ head has swollen three sized two big with pride, and don’t think we’re not talking about the unholy head either.  Sickos!

    Let’s just hope that Tim Tebow doesn’t win the NFL championship.  No telling how much they will try to save face and ‘inflate’ his ego after all their contrary words.


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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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