• Rachel Maddow Named Guest Lead Singer for Black Veil Brides Tour

    June 27, 2012 9:44 am 33 comments

    This past weekend in New York, emosexual band Black Veil Brides started their “Spreading Summer Hell’s Heat” tour in New York.  The concert offers plenty of free drugs and black clothed witch pregnancy ceremonies, which makes everyone there ‘soak up the hot Sun and have thrusting convulsions’, which must make the band proud.

    The band’s lead singer, Andy Biersack, is still recovering from his broken nose and rib.  Last year God sent two angels to jump Biersack, tossing him off the stage and punching him once in the nose so he could no longer call himself his Vegas-showgirl stage name ‘Ashley Pretty’. 

    To keep making money and making sure no other emo band takes their ranking as most popular in school, the Black Veil Brides have named a new lead singer until Biersack can recover.  While we are hopeful that Biersack gets the message from God and decides to use his voice as a solo Christian singer, the Brides are now touring with Rachel Maddow.  The first image of the talk show pundit singing with the band was released yesterday.

    If you look closely at the image to the left, you can see Rachel Maddow, who is now calling herself “Rachel 666′, has disrespected Christianity by spreading Ash Wednesday ashes all over her arm. 

    She’s making herself a ‘Black Veil Bride’ by doing things to her body that Satan would like:  a lesbian’s haircut, black clothing, creepy black gloves from Hot Topic, unholy tattoos and showing off sexy upper thighs/ midriff to make crowdgoers squirm with anticipation.

    What’s ever more sick here are the words being sung, in ‘Satan’s Little Catholic Bride’, the band’s newest song with Maddow singing the vocals.

    Look at the opening lyrics:

    Satan’s Little Catholic Bride

    Black Veil Brides featuring Rachel ’666′ Maddow

    “I’m a daughter of the night, Satan likes my black jeans tight, no room for imagination, come and pound my unholy station”

    Those lyrics are about dressing up for a date and seducing by wearing tight black jeans, which the Black Veil Brides do to your sons/daughters every time you let them go to a concert.  This is why pregnancy rates at Black Veil Brides concerts topples 60%.

    The band will tour through New York until they embark to New Jersey next week.

     

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    About The Author
    Ashleigh Zettesberg Well-traveled and a lover of life, Ashleigh is a Fashion and Lifestyle editor for ChristWire Global.

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