There’s nothing a gay man loves more than children, so it should come as no surprise that the newest gay agenda is to recruit children vis-a-vis a child’s love for sweet treats. Gays are using Cookies and all things related to crumble the morality of your children and leave the crumbs of shame keeping their bedsheets uncomfortable at night.
The gay agenda has been awfully quiet as of late, so we just knew they were planning something very nasty and sinister. After all the economic and weather destruction they caused over the last year, we hope they would stop being so selfish and just go back to their hidden closets of shame. But sadly, my friends, the gays have been baking up a sinister plot and plan on shoving it straight down your children’s throat.
Mr. Homogay’s new slang: Rainbow Oreo cookies.
In each layer of the Rainbow-Colored Oreo cookies, the gays have smeared the mind altering drugs of bath-salts and marijuana-laced LSD (in the green layer), a lurid combination that will trick any person who eats it into having the need for backside stimulation.
Marijuana-laced LSD is well-known for its abilities to enhance the feeling of lust in the sinholes of any person. This is why ravers always force their concert-goers to cover their body in paint made from the stuff. The Rainbow-Oreo is then spritzed with a final coat of liquified quaaludes, which ensures whoever eats these cookies will have a very loose and relaxed sphincter.
After eating these cookies, no person can resist bending over and letting a gay have their way with them. Gays are literally standing outside supermarkets, peaking inside the bags of customers so they can see who to follow home and wait for a good time.
Gays are stocking these cookie on store shelves, even in markets that have not ordered any supplies. In Colorado City, Colorado, a wildfire currently rages because God was tricked into thinking that an area Kroger’s was selling these gay cookies. A group of homosexual pilots calling themselves the Mile High Broncos are taking credit for that deception.
In the rest of the nation, these rainbow-colored explosions of Satan’s sugar plummed anal confections are causing all sorts of chaos.
Musk-tainted gooches. Cops in Florida being reverse sodomized by innocent people instantly converted into wide-eyed homosexuals, unable to control their thrusty, grunting urges after licking the bath-salt enriched icing from these cookies.
Just imagine finding an image of your college son, painting himself up with all sorts of weird tattoos and doing a poopy squat pose, baiting a gay to just come and use him all up. And mark my words, there’s nothing that makes a gay turn like a cat in heat than seeing someone doing an uncontrollable poopy squat pose, as has happened to Andy Biersack in the Oreos ad up above.
Gay cookies must be banned in America. These cookies are part of Satan’s plan to make everyone homosexual friendly. Today it will be America’s husbands and sons slipping these little items into your shopping cart ‘as a taste’, just a ‘little experiment’ to see if all these things reported are true. And that’s how homosexuality spreads: “just a little taste’, ‘just a little experiment’.
Gays will cheer because their little devious minds have meticulously crafted this cookie with scientific precision. It is an instrument of addictive death that is quickly turning everyone gay.
Let’s let the Gay Agenda that Uncle Sam has no taste for gay confections in his mouth, and let’s boycott every store that dares sell these little musky morsels from their shelves.