• Anderson Cooper Comes Out Gay, Half Naked Kathy Griffin Medusa to Blame

    July 2, 2012 3:16 pm 33 comments

    How Gays Can Trick You Into Turning into Them

    On March 13th, 2011, the Gay Agenda met and conspired to convert male media figures into homosexuals. One of their targets was a great, handsome Christian reporter named Anderson Cooper. To convert Cooper, the gays used their favorite technique, ‘The Bait and Switch’.

    Through this series of archival evidence, we will review how the gays: 1) sent an unsuspecting woman to befriend Anderson Cooper in a grassy meadow. Cooper saw the woman as a ‘friendly Auntie’ and thought nothing of her bikini.

    2) The gays then sent the same ‘friendly woman’ to Cooper, but drunk and lusty like a cat in heat on New Years. Cooper was very confused on why his Auntie who was so nice on that grassy meadow, was trying to make him stiff with sin. Cooper’s liferod wanted to become stiff with sin, but his brain fought it off from shame and decency on national TV. Griffin was confusing the circuitry of Cooper.

    3) Gays reveal that Anderson Cooper cannot have any more sexual feelings for women, leaving him ripe for the taking by sexually aggressive power top gays.

    Let us review this sinister plan, as it happened chronologically.

    1. Send out a ‘mole’ to befriend you on the beach and open up about your inner secrets. It’s like seeing your Aunty in a bikini and talking about childhood memories. All clean fun.

    The Calm Before the StormFor years now we have preached that there are multiple ways that someone can turn gay. Perhaps childhood trauma or PTSD in adult life. There is psychological manipulation or chemical imbalances that can cause one to prefer the same-same sin thrusts. But in the case study we have today, we see how a woman can shock a strong, beautiful man of God to turn into a Silver Steel Sinrod for Satan. Today, is the power bottom ballad of a newly converted gay, our dear and fallen friend, Anderson Cooper.

    In the image above, we see Ginger Medusa putting a spell of sorts on the Silver Fox of lore, Anderson Cooper. With his dashing good looks and chiseled jaws of perfection, only outdone by his tight, barrel-crafted chest and his firm grip of the truth, we all balked when the liberal media tried to claim Anderson Cooper was secretly gay.

    The tragic Balland of Anderson Cooper allegedly started with the Instagram photo we see above. He thought he had made a good middle aged friend named Kathy. He would share with her his inner desires and troubles, the type of things people with such high profile lives usually don’t get to divulge. What he didn’t know was that Kathy Griffin was hired as a mole for the Gay Agenda, who has a secret conspiracy brewing where they will use whatever tactics necessary to take over published media.

    2. Without warning, the send your ‘Auntie’ back in a bikini, but drunk, horny and having lights flash off her bright white body in shocking ways that give you seizures and night terrors. Her Medusa hair turns your flesh into an odd, stiff stony pillar of shameful sodomy lust. At this moment, Kathy Griffin is destroying Anderson Cooper’s ability to have a God-given erection for women, leaving the only outlet for his body’s natural sexual urges to be a lust for men.

    Anderson Cooper’s idealic summer of ’11 ended when Kathy Griffin shocked him with nudity in Time’s Square. In this shocking image, we see Griffin shows off her bikini body to Anderson Cooper for a second time but this time she shocked him by going from fully clothed to Jezebel stripper in a matter of minutes.

    With all the confusing red hair, bright studio lights reflecting off her body and odd plastic surgery milksacks, Cooper was injured and confused. Somehow in his mind, the kindly woman he had sat on the beach with months earlier was a shocking Tarantino flashback of incestual flesh, bright lights and childhood horrors.

     

    Look at how proud Kathy Griffin looks as Anderson Cooper pleads for no more nude women ever again in his life. At this moment, Cooper is suffering from DPG. (Delusional Psychological Gayness). It is a form of post traumatic stress disorder.

    3. Pose victoriously over the convert.

    Kathy Griffin took a picture of herself sprawled over Anderson Cooper, showering his chest with dainty snacks. Under normal circumstances, any man would feel a bit uncomfortable in the pants and give mini-gyrations to the female who is topping him. But in this case, Cooper is devoid of sexual contact. He may as well have a blanket laying on top of him. He’s fully converted and Griffin is letting her gay lords know that she’s earned her payment, which they paid her with her new TV show on E!

    While it is shocking that Griffin managed to get her own TV show, at least it makes sense. She scratched the gay’s back, they scratched hers by giving her a new TV show on the gay channel.

    It’s just so sad that Anderson Cooper was the true currency of the transaction. We will have to pray for Anderson Cooper, as he was a brave man not afraid to go into warzones themselves to bring us the truth. How can he do such brave things if he is gay now?

    Fans of David Letterman, please beware, because he will likely be the next celebrity to have a gay ‘confession’ to make.

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    About The Author
    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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