Bat mouthsex and squirrel autofellatio — signs of the End Times?
“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.
And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’ den.”
– Isaiah 11:6-8
By Exbrony
THE Book of Isaiah tells us that in the days before the coming of the Messiah various kinds of animals will behave in strange and unnatural ways — from lions eating straw to venomous snakes allowing infants to finger their cloacas.
Even the cockatrice, a rare and reclusive kind of little poultry dragon that can turn a man to stone with its basilisk-style petrifying gaze, will suffer the little children to come unto its lair.
But are we already seeing such bizarre behaviour among animals in our own times? And could this be a sign that the return of Jesus Christ is near?
Your humble correspondent recently reported on rampant homogay sex shenanigans in the animal kingdom, but that is just the tip of a most unsavoury iceberg.
In recent years scientists have made a string of astonishing discoveries about kinky animal sex perversions.
In one of the most shocking, zoologist Jane Waterman of the University of Manitoba reported that Cape ground squirrels of Namibia fellate their own twiddle rompuses, using their hips to thrust their little sciuridaean sin-sticks in and out of their own little bucky-toothed mouths. Even more shockingly they then swallow their own salty squirrel baby gravy pram fat!
Waterman reported: “a male sat with head lowered and an erect penis in his mouth, being stimulated with both mouth (fellatio) and forepaws (masturbation), while the lower torso moved forward and backwards in thrusting motions, finally culminating in an apparent ejaculation, after which the male appeared to consume the ejaculate.”
In other stunning animal mouthsex revelations, it has been revealed that female Chinese short-nosed fruit bats lick the males’ purple-veined yoghurt-chuckers during the act of coitus itself — a kind of oral reach-around, if you will.
As excited Chinese researchers reported, this chiropteran kinkiness “prolonged the sexual encounter – males never withdrew their penises when they were being licked and, on average, the behaviour bought the couple an extra 100 seconds of sex over and above the usual 2 minutes.”
Over to you. Do you think there are more shocking revelations to come, like bonobos indulging in mutual fingersex, albatrosses engaged in aerial “sky-rimming”, or strange goings on vis-a-vis octopus’s ladygarden? Do you think this furry sexual depravity is a sign of the impending apocalypse?
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Arthur Durry
Arthur Durry is a lively, inactive Australian whose interests include biblical exegesis, cricket and seafood. Formerly known as Exbrony, he was never a brony.
11:15 am
This is not News
a male sat with head lowered and an erect penis in his mouth, being stimulated with both mouth (fellatio) and forepaws (masturbation), while the lower torso moved forward and backwards in thrusting motions, finally culminating in an apparent ejaculation, after which the male appeared to consume the ejaculate.
Erich Sean has been doing this for years that’s why he is So FAT
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11:31 am
Lord, give us wisdom to discern when what is false must be revealed or if we need your grace and strength to close our lips and keep them sealed.
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11:34 am
BEST YOU COULD COME BACK WITH
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1:55 pm
Would you prefer that I respond in a potty mouthed, urine soaked tirade that you so skillfully employ?
That would make Jesus sad.
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1:57 pm
Oh a complement
quote
” that you so skillfully employ? ”
Thanks for the complement
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9:15 pm
“Thanks for the complement”
Pride is the devil’s favorite sin.
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11:28 am
Photo’s of Erich Sean working on this Site as the Handyman Desperately trying to fit in
wearing clothing cunningly Designed to help him get a full time Job
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2:36 am
um, i hate to brak this to you, but jesus is dead. he has been for like 2000 years.
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2:37 am
um, you know that jesus is dead, right? he has been for like 2000 years.
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12:08 pm
Erich Sean is a good Christian. We are sick of you atheists making up stuff and trying to give God and His disciples a bad name. I swear, it’s like you’re possessed by the devil or something, Passion Pit.
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12:17 pm
Better “cum back” than Erich Sean
Credit to you
We “atheists” are sick of you Christwire-ist making up stuff with no Proof, Truth or factual evidence and trying to give everything a bad name. I swear, it’s like you’re all possessed by the Devil or something.
That’s the tactics of a Possessed soul.
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12:19 pm
Satan Says Possession is 99% of Gods law
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12:41 pm
This just shows that atheists like to turn things around to suit themselves. Stop twisting my words.
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12:54 pm
There’s still way more evidence that people like you twist words all the time, if you aren’t flat-out lying or taking things out of context.
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9:18 pm
“We “atheists” are…”
“Satan Says…”
I didn’t know that atheists believe in Satan. You’re a very confused person, which I have already mentioned is due to your lack of a personal relationship with Jesus. Please repent and accept Jesus into your life instead of spreading bite and hate toward him.
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12:44 pm
The so-called evidence you heathen scientists brag so much about is tainted because the devil makes damn sure he messes it up to fool mankind.Prayer is the one and only scientific method.
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12:53 pm
So you’ll say that X is unnatural, but then if X is found to occur in nature, you back-peddle and say that ‘teh devil possessed them’.
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1:36 pm
LN Question ?
When “i Rant in Some of my posts” and i Attack with “their weapons of Racism Sexsism and homophobic Abuse”
Are you offended ? they are!
Do you think i am a racist and homophobic
Because i attack and abuse them with their own style of abuse
Curious to know what you maddy 36 and some of the others think
claire cannot give an opinion as they seem to have blocked her and removed her posts
tho they cannot remove all references to her without gutting the site and they are not technically clever enough to do that
No Decent webmaster her running this site
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8:04 pm
“Do you think i am a racist and homophobic”
When you call someone “dick breath”, yes you are using homophobic language.
If you must use insults, it is better to use ones that don’t further stigmatise and marginalise minority groups.
If I was to insult you, I would probably call you a witless, maladroit, borderline-illiterate, terminally obtuse, thick-as-pigshit cretin.
See? No need to resort to homophobic slurs.
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8:11 pm
Oh exbrony
You Just don’t Get it!
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8:15 pm
Oh exbrony
I Just don’t Value your opinion
you were not asked
Your words are just Electronic Vapor on the Ether
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8:26 pm
I read value as valve reminds me WHERE IS HALF LIFE 3
Other note I some how easily ejaculated jacked off cummed given myself a blowjob whoops okay I do do the last one bye
P.s I’m bipolar
P.p.s i have Tourette’s
P.p.p.s I am using a iPod and spell check is broken
P.p.p.p.s FUCK SHIT ASS BOLLOCKS HE’LL BITCH WHORE CUNT GEILDING
AND ATEROTYPICAL MILATINT NIGGA
I LOVE MYSELF BYE
WTf was I typing bye
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9:22 pm
“You Just don’t Get it!”
Oh, I get what you’re trying to do. I’m telling you that you’re doing it wrong.
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4:55 pm
Ex always does solid work!
As the Ghostbusters documentary taught us:
Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions!
Mayor: What do you mean “biblical”?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath of God type stuff! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, and volcanos!
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
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5:06 pm
Disconnected your self from the 110v Ac then
August Weisz
July 19, 2012
4:55 pm
“”Ex always does solid work!
As the Ghostbusters documentary taught us”":
As usual only in Christwire land was it a Documentary
in the Real world it was a Fantasy Fiction Film
Reconnect the AC Aug Please
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7:58 pm
Thanks for your kind words, August.
Ghostbusters can be read as a very Christian movie, a cautionary tale about the dangers of messing with the occult and the inherent nastiness of the ancient Sumerian/Babylonian religion or whatever it was that Sigourney Weaver’s character was possessed by.
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9:23 pm
Bill Murray movies should be avoided by all moral Americans.
http://christwire.org/2010/07/boycott-bill-murray-for-a-better-america/
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9:38 pm
Oh, absolutely, Cassidy. I was remiss in not making that explicit.
When I said that Ghostbusters can be read as a very Christian movie I did not mean to imply that it was intended as such.
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2:43 am
i have a genuine request for exbrony. could you please change your profile pic? it pains me to see her as the mascot of a bible thumping radical who posts atrocities like this article. please.
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12:51 pm
“Even the cockatrice, a rare and reclusive kind of little poultry dragon that can turn a man to stone with its basilisk-style petrifying gaze, will suffer the little children to come unto its lair.”
Wtf? Are you on LSD or any other drug?
“Waterman reported: “a male sat with head lowered and an erect penis in his mouth, being stimulated with both mouth (fellatio) and forepaws (masturbation), while the lower torso moved forward and backwards in thrusting motions, finally culminating in an apparent ejaculation, after which the male appeared to consume the ejaculate.””
Omg… you’re even worse then Figs… I wonder if you’re zoosexual, since you always write articles which contains sex and animals…
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