It was a nice sunny day today when I walked through the beach and decided I’d go to the shop to get something to eat. I picked up a box of cereal and looked at the back and immediately put the box back and ran out like hell, not looking back. I went to my church and prayed that God would give me the strength to face my fears and write an article about what I saw and the implications of what I saw. I was literally shivering, coated in sweat, asking God to deliver my soul from the evil I saw.
That so-called box of cereal had a picture of a dinosaur on the back and so-called “scientific facts about dinosaurs”. These are some of the things it said (do not repeat this to your children):
“Dinosaurs went extinct sixty-five million years ago.” – I say: bah, the earth is only six thousand years old.
“Velociraptors had highly-developed social behaviour, hunting in packs with co-ordination and a surprising intelligence.” – I say: Oh dear, I think we’re confusing that with something else.
“Tyrannosaurus Rex means Tyrant King and he was feared by all other dinosaurs,” – I say: Yes, the lies about dinosaurs are tyrannous. The word “she” is completely absent. It makes you think, doesn’t it?
“Pteradactyls were dinosaurs with very large wings,” – I say: You guys are hypocrites. According to your flawed science, a bird like that cannot fly because of the weight of its bones.
If your kids make their own cereal, it would be wise to remove the contents of the cereal and place it in a plastic Tupperware. It could save your child’s life. It is a well-known fact that an interest and/or belief in dinosaurs leads to atheism because dinosaurs imply evolution. From the evidence I have shown, it is blatantly obvious that dinosaurs were invented by mankind to advance the lies of evolution. Let’s not forget that Satan is the one who’s really pulling the strings in this dinosaur-evolution plot of his.
Ever since the study of dinosaurs first began, mankind’s spiritual health has declined or, more accurately, spiralled downward. A belief in dinosaurs was spurred by a belief in Charles Darwin’s sick “natural selection”. If the church had ensured that Darwin did not get away with his lies, the whole dinosaur conspiracy would never have seen the light of day because the world would not have tolerated the blasphemy of evolution on which the lies about dinosaurs depend. The church back then acted like liberals and this is probably where liberal Christianity began. It’s safe and reasonable to say that liberal Christianity has left mankind to the wolves.