• False Atheist God Flying Spaghetti Monster Appears over Israel

    July 23, 2012 5:32 pm 202 comments
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  • The children of Israel ran and screamed with panic after atheists unleashed their false god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, over the birthplace of Christianity.  The FSM beast is able to duplicate the powers of the atheist created Large Hadron Collider, siphoning the souls of Christian and Jews (what atheists call Higgs Boson Particles) and using them to give the FSM more supernatural power and ability.  Over 9,000 Israelis and 485 Christians are estimated to have lost their souls in these heartless attacks.

    The atheist zealots have finally revealed their sinister left hand and unleashed their false god upon the world.   They are calling the beast warned of in Revelation the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  It measures a whopping height of 300 feet tall (the length of a NFL football field) and it has over 1,000 tentacles that can literally suck the soul (Higgs Boson particle) right out of a Christian.

    Somehow, atheists have harnassed the power of their Large Hadron Collider straight into this genetic abomination.  According to one woman, Ziva David, who managed to escape the monstrous construct, “it made a noise, like a tornado’s fury being whirled about by Satan himself.  When one of the appendages touched a person, you could see their eyes turn shiny black as a white, whispy aparition screamed and fought being sucked from the body.  This alien terror was stealing their souls!  It stole their souls!”

    From what our sources can tell, atheists plan to continue their campaign of tormenting and terrorizing Christians, and others who almost correctly worship God, with use of this monster.  If Christians refuse to meet with atheist demands, they will simply summon this creature to appear over churches, cathedrals and synogogues to bring destruction to the immortal souls of moral people.

    Atheists are highly religious and fanatical. This ‘flying god’ of theirs is a modern incarnation of the ancient false god Ba’al, who God smote nearly 3,000 to 4,000 years ago. In The Atheist Bible, Richard Dawkins takes on the mantle “Son of FSM”, becoming the persona of a knock-of K-mart blue light special version of Jesus Christ. The new book of religious atheism fortells the FSM and will be broken open by our cultural analysts

    The pressing question is how was this done?  How were atheists able to create their god by their own hand?  The answer lies with genetics, a cult of Satan worship and a machine called the Large Hadron Collider.

    Atheists are ignorant and do not realize they are being used by Satan.  Due to their heartless nature, atheists are cold and loners, making many of them attracted to persuing careers in difficult sciences.

    These atheist warlocks therefore are masters of alchemy, bizarre genetics, God-defying physics and robotics, the lurid combination of this foursome coalescing to form the evil monster seen over Israel.

    Sources indicate that for the past five years, Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Richard Dawkins, a high priest within the bizarre atheist religion, conspired with the Chinese, French, Swiss, Iran and several key genetic companies to create this false god.

    According to priests in Israel, the likes of this sort of creation have not been seen since the days of ancient Egypt, where Wiccan Egyptians were able to summon the demon Ba’al and give him power through dark chants, primitive orgy rave blood death rituals and drummed music.

    To following graphic was captured from an internal camera at the CERN facility, the place where authorties think this new monster was created.  It has been labeled to describe the process that experts agree lead to the Flying Spaghetti Monster receiving the functions of life by Satan himself.

    Reported accounts from Israelis match others who were forced to flee the atheist monster.  Reports of souls being painfully extracted from bodies by portable supercolliders were only outdone by other reports of missing people today, nearly 10,000 in total.  The Israeli air force reports that the object is able to ‘phase’ in and out of reality, making it impossible to hit with conventional weapons.  The only weapon that can possibly work is prayer or perhaps water canons that project holy water.

    The following video shows the atheist god The Flying Spaghetti Monster trying to instill fear in God’s original country, Israel, and make all people bow before it and atheist Jesus, Richard Dawkins.

    WARNING:  The following video shows the god of atheism terrorizing the children of Israel.  Immediately demand all women and children flee the room so they will not become terrorized and bullied into bowing before nonsense atheist beliefs.  Also pray before watching this harrowing video. 


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    About The Author
    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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