False Atheist God Flying Spaghetti Monster Appears over Israel
The children of Israel ran and screamed with panic after atheists unleashed their false god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, over the birthplace of Christianity. The FSM beast is able to duplicate the powers of the atheist created Large Hadron Collider, siphoning the souls of Christian and Jews (what atheists call Higgs Boson Particles) and using them to give the FSM more supernatural power and ability. Over 9,000 Israelis and 485 Christians are estimated to have lost their souls in these heartless attacks.
The atheist zealots have finally revealed their sinister left hand and unleashed their false god upon the world. They are calling the beast warned of in Revelation the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It measures a whopping height of 300 feet tall (the length of a NFL football field) and it has over 1,000 tentacles that can literally suck the soul (Higgs Boson particle) right out of a Christian.
Somehow, atheists have harnassed the power of their Large Hadron Collider straight into this genetic abomination. According to one woman, Ziva David, who managed to escape the monstrous construct, “it made a noise, like a tornado’s fury being whirled about by Satan himself. When one of the appendages touched a person, you could see their eyes turn shiny black as a white, whispy aparition screamed and fought being sucked from the body. This alien terror was stealing their souls! It stole their souls!”
From what our sources can tell, atheists plan to continue their campaign of tormenting and terrorizing Christians, and others who almost correctly worship God, with use of this monster. If Christians refuse to meet with atheist demands, they will simply summon this creature to appear over churches, cathedrals and synogogues to bring destruction to the immortal souls of moral people.
Atheists are highly religious and fanatical. This ‘flying god’ of theirs is a modern incarnation of the ancient false god Ba’al, who God smote nearly 3,000 to 4,000 years ago. In The Atheist Bible, Richard Dawkins takes on the mantle “Son of FSM”, becoming the persona of a knock-of K-mart blue light special version of Jesus Christ. The new book of religious atheism fortells the FSM and will be broken open by our cultural analysts
The pressing question is how was this done? How were atheists able to create their god by their own hand? The answer lies with genetics, a cult of Satan worship and a machine called the Large Hadron Collider.
Atheists are ignorant and do not realize they are being used by Satan. Due to their heartless nature, atheists are cold and loners, making many of them attracted to persuing careers in difficult sciences.
These atheist warlocks therefore are masters of alchemy, bizarre genetics, God-defying physics and robotics, the lurid combination of this foursome coalescing to form the evil monster seen over Israel.
Sources indicate that for the past five years, Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Richard Dawkins, a high priest within the bizarre atheist religion, conspired with the Chinese, French, Swiss, Iran and several key genetic companies to create this false god.
According to priests in Israel, the likes of this sort of creation have not been seen since the days of ancient Egypt, where Wiccan Egyptians were able to summon the demon Ba’al and give him power through dark chants, primitive orgy rave blood death rituals and drummed music.
To following graphic was captured from an internal camera at the CERN facility, the place where authorties think this new monster was created. It has been labeled to describe the process that experts agree lead to the Flying Spaghetti Monster receiving the functions of life by Satan himself.
Reported accounts from Israelis match others who were forced to flee the atheist monster. Reports of souls being painfully extracted from bodies by portable supercolliders were only outdone by other reports of missing people today, nearly 10,000 in total. The Israeli air force reports that the object is able to ‘phase’ in and out of reality, making it impossible to hit with conventional weapons. The only weapon that can possibly work is prayer or perhaps water canons that project holy water.
The following video shows the atheist god The Flying Spaghetti Monster trying to instill fear in God’s original country, Israel, and make all people bow before it and atheist Jesus, Richard Dawkins.
WARNING: The following video shows the god of atheism terrorizing the children of Israel. Immediately demand all women and children flee the room so they will not become terrorized and bullied into bowing before nonsense atheist beliefs. Also pray before watching this harrowing video.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Mike Watson
Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook
6:02 pm
Irrefutable proof of this atheistic mad science. We should take our anger out on science research!
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7
6:10 pm
Not a Monster its a Airborne floating seed from the Spaghetti Tree
You all know Spaghetti grows on tree’s
Says so in the bible So it must be True
America will soon invade Israel due to the chronic shortage of Spaghetti in the USA.
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6:20 pm
I will comment later when i stop pissing myself with laughter
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5:00 am
America will be Safe Invading Israel as Israel has no Nuclear weapons with which to Defend themselves with.
That’s True They are Gods Chosen People so they won’t LIE ABOUT OWNING WMD.
GOD WILL DEFEND THEM FROM AMERICA.
yup he will Raise his Cassock Drop his boxer shorts and let rip the “GOD FART”.
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3:18 am
PeePee says: “Spaghetti grows on tree’s
Says so in the bible ”
Which part of the bible? Or are you just lying as maladroitly as you punctuate?
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7:22 am
De da De da De da De da De da
You have just been pulled over by the “exbrony Punctuation Police”
“Get out of the Car”
“”Assume the position””
“”” No Not like that Drop your Pants and Spread those ass Cheeks”””
“”Now i’m Going to Punctuate You Properly””
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4:57 pm
So you admit that you lied about spaghetti trees in the bible?
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5:33 pm
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fiction_rule_of_thumb.png
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6:15 pm
Athe
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6:17 pm
Oh wow, great. So now we learn atheists are anti-Semites. Should have known.
This is just all absolutely terrifying. Is Obama doing anything about this?
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6:20 pm
Atheists don’t have any god or deity or any higher power for that matter…since Atheism is the disbelief in any higher power…
FSM isn’t real
The Hadron Collider doesn’t steal souls
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6:24 pm
Did you watch the video? They are literally attacking Israel with this. I bet Hitler is applauding them from hell.
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6:39 pm
Can’t you tell when a video is fake? Is your grasp on fact and fiction slipping?
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6:44 pm
There is nothing fake about that abomination. I am praying so hard right now that God will strike down all responsible. We need to nuke this Hadron collider.
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6:46 pm
Nuke it so hard they cant rebuild it later, not like how Truman took it soft on the Japs.
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6:50 pm
Truman was a Democrat. It would have taken a TRUE MAN like Prescott Bush to properly nuke all the Axis atheists.
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6:52 pm
It’s all fake…How can you guys believe something like this when it’s obviously FAKE
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6:57 pm
You can cry that we’ve caught atheists being evil until you are green in the gills, but the proof is right here.
It’s amazing how there can be so much proof of God’s power and the evil of people who refuse to believe in him, but you liberals will try to deny it.
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7:08 pm
1: I’m not a liberal
2: how can you be so delusional? Nothin said in this “article” is real…
3: you have absolutely no proof of this or anything thing else
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7:21 pm
1. You don’t agree with me, making you a liberal.
2. This article is based on science and faith, making it double true.
3. This article has faith and science to back it up. You’ve failed to disprove either. Going ‘lalalala fake lalala’ is not disproof.
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7:53 pm
1: disagreeing with you doesn’t make me a liberal by default…In fact, I’m nothing because I tend to stay out of all politics
2: This article is all lies and hogwash…Created by you, the man who believes an obviously fake video is somehow real
3: The FSM is a joke, it’s not real, never has been never will. You claim I havent any evidence…but neither do you
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8:58 pm
I’m missing something here. Ouroboros, what did you do?
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10:37 am
I thought you were americans. If you nuke it you will be labeled terrorists and the american people do not respond to terrorists. Learn what the Hardon Collider does before you become a terrorist and destroy a good thing that DOES NOT STEAL SOULS!
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4:02 pm
You Don’t pray …..you wank and so hard you get friction burns
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3:16 am
“you wank and so hard you get friction burns”
The pure projection is priceless.
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6:52 pm
Watch the video again, Son. The end times are nigh.
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6:56 pm
Doesn’t matter how many times I watch the video…It will always be fake…
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7:01 pm
You can deny it all you want. I’ve already called my Congressman and am demanding this not be covered up. We need to aide Israel and nuke whoever is responsible. I can sense Iran is part of all this.
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7:11 pm
I hope your congressman thought you were insane…because the rest I us think you are…
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7:18 pm
“I us”. Which you is talking, Harvey?
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7:19 pm
LOL!
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7:49 pm
It’s just a typo…What’s wrong? You such a little bitch that when you run out of arguments, you change the subject to someone’s mistake…
For the record…I meant “the rest of us” doesn’t take a genius to figure that out…Of course…You guys aren’t even geniuses to begin with
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8:27 pm
Ouroboros. This is very difficult for me to type. My faith in you is shaken after the childish prank you and your jerk friend pulled on August the other day. You’re going to have to give me some time. Some time and space.
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8:37 pm
I still haven’t slept well Erich.
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8:54 pm
What’s wrong August? Mad because I managed to trick you? If only you knew who I (as in the one possessing Ouro’s account right now) was…I imagine a look of pure shock on your face…Here’s a hint Mr.Weisz; you’ve grappled with me before on this wretched site, and while you were nice to me, I was never to you…Erich, I don’t expect you to know this because you arrived to this site after I had already left
If its any reassurance Mr.Weisz, Ouro truly thought I would fail my mission…He had a smidgen of faith that you would not falter…too bad I can be very convincing
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8:55 pm
“Going ‘lalalala fake lalala’ is not disproof.”
You’re right, Mikey. It’s not. BUT, going ‘lalalala real lalala’ is not proof either.
Do you really think that anyone outside of your little group would possibly believe this is real? Seriously? Yeeaahh…..no.
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9:02 pm
“you’ve grappled with me before on this wretched site, and while you were nice to me, I was never to you”
Yes we are always nice and welcoming. It is the naysayers that are evil.
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9:08 pm
Are you telling me that people log into this site with multiple avatars? What kind of psycho does that?
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9:09 pm
“Yes we are always nice and welcoming. It is the naysayers that are evil.”
While that’s not necessarily…True…With me, you were more civil towards me…You and I would occasionally have casual conversation…
-Mr.O
(Any post by me and not by the real Ouro, will be signed with “-Mr. O” to avoid further confusion)
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9:13 pm
“Are you telling me that people log into this site with multiple avatars? What kind of psycho does that?”
Actually, this IS Ouroboros’ actual account…I just know his password…
I don’t think anyone actually does what you stated though…I think…I don’t know
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4:19 am
August Weisz
July 24, 2012
3:37 am
I still haven’t slept well. Erich kept Shoving his tiny Sin Stick into my mouth and Ex Atheist Got a case of Crabs, Her School is on her Back about late homework
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4:50 am
Erich Sean
July 23, 2012
9:08 pm
Are you telling me that people log into this site with multiple avatars? What kind of psycho does that?
“Well apparently i am ,as you So Accused me before”.
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3:15 am
Fake Ouro, you have disgraced the real Ouro’s good name. He was well loved and respected on this site.
Why don’t you show some integrity and get your own username if you must continue to plague this site?
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7:23 am
”
“Fake Ouro, you have disgraced the real Ouro’s good name. He was well loved and respected on this site.”
You speak in past tense…As if he isn’t well loved or respected anymore…How curious…
“Why don’t you show some integrity and get your own username if you must continue to plague this site?”
Oh I have my own account…Had it for a long time now…I’m just not ready for a comeback yet…Also, it’s fun using him as a proxy
-Mr. O
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4:46 am
Actuality lil Nick’s Dad is Shoving pineapples up Hitler’s Ass. Hitler can’t applaud because he’s ecstatic with joy with the thought that your soon be sharing his Daily routine.
A treatment you have to look forward to,very Soon
Of Course your have to take your own little French maids outfit. as hitlers wont fit your FAT AMERICAN ASS
Brother’s Adrian and Cassius are Bulk buying pineapples from K-Mart as i type.
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10:32 am
The truth is spoken here. FSM was a way that some atheist make fun of religion. Thank you for telling the truth about the biggest lies in this article
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6:53 pm
T.T… i have lost all faith in this site. there are errors in almost every sentence, in particle the ones blaming atheism. ATHEISTS HAVE NO GOD OR RELIGION. so why the hell would you state “How were atheists able to create their god by their own hand?” first of all, we have no god. thus the term “atheist”. not Pagan, not wiccan, or hindu or polytheistic, or jewish or any form of christian. WE HAVE NO GOD. PERIOD. also, the Higgs Boson Particle is the particle that in theory puts out a field that allows other particles to have mass. if you picked up a book every once and a while that is not the bible, you may actually learn things. i’m surprised that you know how to breathe.
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2
6:59 pm
Atheists are just confused Unitarians.
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10:55 pm
im a atheists not a unitarian, i don’t belive in god, BUT! i do accept the posibilty that i am wornge and that god MAY exsist and if he or she does, i’ll happly admit i was wronge.
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8:31 am
That makes you Agnostic, not Atheist.
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6:59 pm
Atheism has become an organized religion. The fervent belief that God cannot possibly exist based upon our five senses is as irrational as our Christian faith in itself. Atheists then spread their beliefs with evangelical fervor, even putting faith in things that cannot be proven, a la Big Bang.
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8:00 pm
um, we have thermal, radio, UV, and light waves acting as an “echo” to our big bang theory. where’s your proof? in a book written 2000 years ago, when people thought that you could get the bubonic plague from bathing.
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8:33 pm
None of that is proof of the Big Bang theory.
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8:37 pm
are you saying that echos are not proof of a cause of an echo?
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4:12 am
Erich Sean
July 24, 2012
3:12 am
Whoever Assoles himself will be humped, and whoever hump’s himself will be Assoled. – Book of Sodom: 23:12
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4:09 pm
The Christwire crowd have their own big bang theory.
If X= Christwire authors
If Y = number of little boys
if X>Y=Big Bang
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12:38 am
The big bang theory is most likely false. BUT so is the “god” theory. It is scientifically impossible for a single divine being to create itself out of nothing, as well as it is impossible for there to be an explosion creating everything we know today.
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4:32 am
It is Typical of the NUTTERS HERE
they claim God is the “Only Creator”
and with the “NEXT BREATH THEY SAY” Atheists create life usually in demonic or monster form.
SO THAT MAKES “Atheists” GODS EQUAL
THEY TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THEIR OWN GOD BUT THEY DON’T REALIZE IT.
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4:43 am
Did you read the article? They make it pretty clear that this is a genetic abomination being powered by that damned Higgs Boson soul stealer we need to nuke ASAP.
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10:24 am
i read the article. i also happen to have friends working with particle physics, and absolutely, without doubt, the Higgs Boson particle is not the soul of christians. i hope somebody beats you to death with scientific journals.
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12:48 pm
dalpezzo13
Says
“”i hope somebody beats you to death with scientific journals.”"
Not Much chance of that occuring they don’t know what a scientific journal is
Best we can hope for is Someone beats him to death with his own Bible
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4:46 pm
Erich Sean
July 23, 2012
9:12 pm
Whoever speaks Bullshit himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles him will be exalted. –
Patrick fitzmichael and Michael fitzpatrick
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6:07 pm
can I nuke your house adam ?
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6:56 pm
also, if that CGI effect was real, it would make global news, not just youtube and christwire. it is also a hell of a lot more effective than your god, and a lot more potent. your god’s power is reduced to appearing on toast nowadays.
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6:58 pm
The liberal media is part of the atheist homosexual alliance.
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7:24 pm
“The liberal media is part of the atheist homosexual alliance.” Okay, so either you are admitting that either the entire global media, hundreds of thousands of greedy people who would sell their mother for a mediocre story, are all atheists want to cover up the creation of a spaghetti monster, which is actually massive news, or that it really is CGI. I honestly can’t tell which.
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7:00 pm
God’s power is on display all over the place. Do you ever watch the weather, to see him protest and try to warn us about bad choices?
Do you see him work miracles on videos? Everyday people who believe in God perform miracles and cure those afflicted by Satan’s evil hand.
Why can’t atheists just accept the power of God?
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7:20 pm
all i see in the weather can and is proven and predicted by science. i have yet to see a weather system that is inexplicable, such as a hurricane forming over a desert, or rain without clouds, or anything similar.
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7:24 pm
Is global warming a lie made up by Democrats, or Satan slowly simmering his way back to Earth?
Why can’t scientists agree on what is true?
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7:26 pm
“Is global warming a lie made up by Democrats, or Satan slowly simmering his way back to Earth?” i’m fairly certain that either idea has not yet been introduced in an argument about global warming. At least between rationally thinking scientists, anyway.
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7:40 pm
You’ve not heard the argument that global warming is a paid conspiracy by liberal radicals?
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7:47 pm
no, i actually haven’t. go ahead, tell me more. i kinda want to know about it.
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8:29 pm
http://www.conservapedia.com/Global_warming
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8:38 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_warming
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8:38 pm
thanks.
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8:48 pm
okay, i do recall the global cooling bit, and i do believe that there are cycles for the earth in terms of global temperature, but i also believe that humans are accelerating and heightening these changes. also, on a side note, did you know that the magnetic poles of the earth are changing? just a random tidbit of info that has absolutely nothing to do with our argument.
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4:13 pm
Mike Watson
July 23, 2012
7:00 pm
“Why can’t atheists just accept the power of God?”
“Because atheists just Don’t accept God exist”
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4:18 pm
Don’t get upset Lil mike
Atheists just Don’t accept Buddha, Jehovah Allah,
Loki Satan lucifer exist either
so don’t feel lonely (if you feel lonely you can always have a wank. Your never alone if you can wank you always got someone that loves you)
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5:31 am
Mike Watson
July 23, 2012
7:00 pm
God’s power is on display all over the place. Do you ever watch the weather, to see him protest and try to warn us about bad choices?
God Has a Piss and it Rains on Planet Earth
God has a Fart and there is a Tornado
God Has a Belch and there is a Hurricane
God has a curry it gives him the Shits and
mauna kea volcano erupts.
God Brushes his hair and Gods Dandruff falls as Snow on Planet Earth
“”>YEP GOD AND THE WEATHER <""
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6:11 pm
for snow I would have said something else ….
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7:26 pm
You do know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a fake god that was made to mock the Christian god? It’s CGI. You know, what they do in almost every movie now.
Atheists have no god because being a Atheist is having the belief that there is no god. Saying they have one is a oxymoron.
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7:28 pm
thank you, this is what i have been saying on almost ever article i read the parts about atheists having no god, i mean.
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7:29 pm
shit, there should be a period between “read” and “the”. sorry.
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7:41 pm
Your lack of faith extends to even your own ‘god’. That’s actually pretty amusing, it’d make a good meme.
“Atheists: Create false god, lack faith to believe in him.”
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7:45 pm
wait, i have a god? that news to me. who is he/she, what does he/she have control over, are there other ones i believe in, and what does he/she stand for? how should i praise him/her? does he/she demand sacrifices? why did i not know about him/her before?
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8:31 pm
Yes, you people call him the Flying Spaghetti Monster and have gone so far as to create it. You also worship mankind, simple people like Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Richard Dawkins.
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8:39 pm
We don’t worship anyone and we don’t believe in a god. Believing in a god is the opposite of being a Atheist. Man you’re stupid. Also, at least we don’t worship a zombie.
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8:41 pm
No, the FSM is a joke, and atheists worship no one.
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8:42 pm
You can’t trust anything an atheist says.
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8:43 pm
so what you are saying is that i am not atheistic, but monotheistic. you sir, are blatantly wrong. secondly, i do not worship my role models, i just root for them and try to be more like them. also, the meme thing would be somewhat okay, except it would be wrong to say that we believe in a god. maybe some other stuff ending with “lack of faith to believe in…) it would grow old after a while though.
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8:44 pm
Yet we can trust religion when it was religion that said the earth was flat. Or that everyone revolved about it?
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2:15 am
“You can’t trust anything an atheist says.”
So we should instead trust the words of a highly biased and uneducated group of people who don’t bother to follow their own set of laws?
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7:49 pm
Atheists don’t believe in any god. Get that through your down-syndrome brain of yours. Wait, I shouldn’t insult people with down-syndrome like that.
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3:24 am
Wow. You just insulted all Down syndrome people with your inept attempt at an insult. Well done.
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6:14 am
Soooo, you’ll be recruiting Pebrock, Gelding?
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8:29 pm
The flying spaghetti monster is absolutely 100% fake, created entirely as a satirical mock of god. Any atheist will tell you. The point of the fictional creature is to prove the point that just because you say something exists, it doesn’t make it true.
I must tell you, I came across this site and genuinely believed it to be satirical, assuming the articles were just exaggerations of the rights stances. After further review, I see how serious the site and its readers are, and I pity you. You people are not chaste or pure, you are castrated, angry, bitter and shameful. There is no quality of life in your so called morals. I am shocked at how belligerently blind and hateful you are. I thank my stars I am secular and see through this madness.
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4:24 pm
I Said this earlier So it “MUST BE TRUE”"
Not a Monster its a Airborne floating seed from the Spaghetti Tree
You all know Spaghetti grows on tree’s
Says so in the bible
So it must be True especially coming from me
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2:08 pm
I’m sorry that you have not seen the light yet. I hope one day you will come to your senses. I will pray for you everyday until you are able to enjoy us for what we are.
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8:41 pm
My god you’re fucking retarded, Mickey. Seek help.
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8:53 pm
This is quite possibly the most chilling article ever published on this netsite. The typically smug look on Neil deGrasse’s face must be extra insufferable today! We must pray that future white President Mitt Romney discovers a final solution to this pasta problem.
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8:57 pm
Bwahaha you actually think that Romney will win? You’re more retarded then I thought. And “netsite”? Even more retarded.
And if I must say it each time, the article, like most, is bullshit.
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9:03 pm
No great shock that both you and your life partner, LN, are throwing the highly offensive “R” word around like so much sin confetti. Looks like Claire’s legacy lives on, sadly.
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9:08 pm
“Looks like Claire’s legacy lives on, sadly.”
Scared, Rookie?
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9:17 pm
Every time I see the “R” word typed out, I have a flashback to the image of a scowl-faced Claire waving a dildo at her computer screen.
“Scared?” You’re damn right I’m scared.
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2:11 am
Didn’t Claire ask several times for August to prove that she used the word retarded before, and where were you when Adam threw it around one day? Conveniently ignoring it because your head is too far up your ass?
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4:28 pm
Erich Sean
July 23, 2012
9:03 pm
No great shock that both you and your life partner, LN, are throwing the highly offensive “R” word around like so much sin confetti. Looks like Claire’s legacy lives on, sadly.
AUG the guy you “park your dick in” Says who’s Claire?.
didn’t you lot agree she never existed and here you are spouting “”"Claire’s legacy lives on”"”
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4:36 pm
For you Erich Sean
And Aug
http://youtu.be/eAKInjg66fY
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAKInjg66fY&w=420&h=315imgyoutube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAKInjg66fY&w=420&h=315/img
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4:37 pm
Erich Sean for you and aug
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAKInjg66fY&w=420&h=315
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9:03 pm
What you SHOULD be praying, Rookie, is that they don’t find a “final solution” to this site. You’d have nowhere to act out and feel proud.
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9:12 pm
Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. – Matthew 23:12
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9:18 pm
hay, sean, how exactly did ouro trick august? and on what article could i read this, for i assume it happened on an article.
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9:30 pm
I’ll explain…I made a bet with the real Ouroboros while he went on vacation. My bet was that I could make August stop talking to Ouroboros…Little did Ouro know that I know his password and that I would impersonate him…I can’t remember what article it was, but I faked this huge blow out/rant against August…Which managed to win me the bet…I can look, but I don’t know which one it is right now
-Mr.O
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10:28 am
thank you.
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9:52 pm
You quote that like it means something to you, Erich. You have no idea what the word “humble” even means. If you do, you certainly don’t “practice what you preach”.
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2:13 am
So, Erich, when are you gonna get on that ‘being humble’ business and when are you going to correct the other douchebags who call themselves Christian?
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3:56 pm
Why does he do anything when I’ve show he’s nothing but a made up person who is using some photo of a band from the 80′s.
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4:59 pm
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)
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6:10 pm
Congrats, you can quote the bible, now try actually following it.
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4:07 am
Erich Sean
July 24, 2012
3:12 am
Whoever Assoles himself will be humped, and whoever hump’s himself will be Assoled. – Book of Sodom: 23:12
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5:06 pm
Erich Sean
July 24, 2012
4:59 pm
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
Practice what you try to preach Hypocrite
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4:55 pm
Erich Sean
July 23, 2012
8:53 pm
This is quite possibly the most chilling article ever published on this netsite. The typically smug look on Neil deGrasse’s face must be extra insufferable today! We must pray that future white President Mitt Romney discovers a final solution to this pasta problem.
America will soon invade Israel due to the chronic shortage of Spaghetti in the USA.
We must pray that future white Führer President Mitt Romney institutes a final solution to this problem.
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10:51 am
Our Mighty Lord (The Flying Spaghetti Monster) Does not look like that! Besides the mighty savor will come and save atheists from his doomsday to all Christians.I shall tell you our plan since it is too late to stop it. We have a giant Hardon Collider Hidden on the moon and on December 21st 2012 FSM shall bring it to earth and telleport all atheists to his dimension and let the Hardon Collider steal all non- believers souls and disintegrate their bodies. we shall then return to claim our earth. The souls of non-belivers will be fed to Lord FSM to make him stronger so he can rule us all.
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3:55 pm
Wow that is the worst alter book I’ve ever seen unless it’s a 3D good you really need to take Photoshop lessons. Then again your here most the time I’m sure you have no money living in mommys house.
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4:13 pm
Does this website is a ironic joke, right? I hope so…. otherwise I am again in the dark side of the Internet
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7:46 pm
The flying spaghetti monster has been known to sodomize little boys’ bugger holes with it’s huge but slick tentacles and not one atheist has condemned this. Why do atheists support sodomizing little boys’ bugger holes?
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8:13 pm
The Flying Spaghetti Monster has been known to not be real. Everyone gets that but the cultwire.
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8:21 pm
priests have been known to sodomize little boys’ bugger holes. why do priests of god support sodomizing little boys’ bugger holes?
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9:53 pm
cause they find little girls ickky
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10:00 pm
“why do priests of god support sodomizing little boys’ bugger holes?”
You’ll need to ask a priest that question. I’m not a supporter of christian vampire sects that worship mary and count beads all day in a smelly “church.”
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10:02 pm
You call yourself a Christian, what’s the difference? You’re already dead inside and out.
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10:26 pm
Your mocking and cruelty only makes me pity you and your eternal soul.
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10:38 pm
Like you know what it means to pity someone, heathen.
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3:26 am
I’m pretty sure that Cassidy knows what it’s like to pity you, LN. We all do.
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4:45 am
When your next crap story pony lover? them “new” people kinda suck at posting crap.
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11:05 pm
Every time a Christian Brother like Exbrony defends faith in God, evil atheist leftists attack in an ad-hominem nature similar to scavenging jackals around a wounded prey.
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1:52 am
Oh Pony, you think I take anything you say seriously, so sad.
And Cassey? You honestly think that fuckers like yourselves aren’t guilty of ad hominem attacks? Hell, it’s all you’re capable of doing anymore.
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5:43 am
No you Just like to do it anyway
Cornelius Bartholomew “Cassidy” Pen
July 24, 2012
10:00 pm
“why do priests of god support sodomizing little boys’ bugger holes?”
Your a firm believer of
“”IF A PRIEST CAN DO IT THEN I CAN, ITS MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT AS A CHRISTIAN TO DO ANYTHING A PRIEST CAN DO”" and i enjoy the lord “cumming” into me
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7:17 am
“Why do atheists support sodomizing little boys’ bugger holes?”
well, i don’t. i also have not said anything about the FSM doing this because it is not real, much like your god.
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9:54 pm
So… we atheists venerates a spaghetti?
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9:55 pm
Our Mighty Lord (The Flying Spaghetti Monster) Does not look like that! Besides the mighty savor will come and save atheists from his doomsday to all Christians.I shall tell you our plan since it is too late to stop it. We have a giant Hardon Collider Hidden on the moon and on December 21st 2012 FSM shall bring it to earth and telleport all atheists to his dimension and let the Hardon Collider steal all non- believers souls and disintegrate their bodies. we shall then return to claim our earth. The souls of non-belivers will be fed to Lord FSM to make him stronger so he can rule us all.
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9:57 pm
I say Our plan because this because if you convert now we will remove the parasite known as a soul from you and let you live!
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9:59 pm
Our Mighty Lord (The Flying Spaghetti Monster) Does not look like that! Besides the mighty savor will come and save atheists from his doomsday to all Christians.I shall tell you our plan since it is too late to stop it. We have a giant Hardon Collider Hidden on the moon and on December 21st 2012 FSM shall bring it to earth and telleport all atheists to his dimension and let the Hardon Collider steal all non- believers souls and disintegrate their bodies. we shall then return to claim our earth. The souls of non-belivers will be fed to Lord FSM to make him stronger so he can rule us all.I say Our plan because this because if you convert now we will remove the parasite known as a soul from you and let you live!
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11:30 pm
I saw one too see it’s on youtube so it’s must be true.
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4:23 am
This is why i am a wiccan and the FSM is not real per say pastafarinism is real it is considered a real religion just like pegan and wicca which were the first religions ever and most catholic and christian belifes are stolen from these religions
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2:25 pm
stop saying our mighty lord is not real. all you Christians will die with the plan mentioned above. It is a real plan, I am a scientist who is in on it and I guess we can talk about now that two high ranking people said it. and one of them was a flying spaghetti monster high priest
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2:46 pm
Are you fucking stupid?! Answer=YES. Do you LIKE the fact that these assholes are making up all kinds of shit about atheists? I guess you must, because you’re just going along with this garbage. Do you know what you’re doing by spreading the lies?!
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3:24 pm
hopefully they will over react but they haven’t.
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2:28 pm
When I was an atheist I was told of how the Flying Spaghetti Monster would cleanse the world of all religious peoples leaving only the “logic and reason” of atheism.
Remember, Christians love thy neighbor even if they are sinners. Atheists would sooner exterminate anyone who disagrees with them than listen to an opinion that contradicts their own.
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2:32 pm
Ex-atheist
July 25, 2012
2:28 pm
When I was an atheist I was told of how the Flying Spaghetti Monster would cleanse the world of all religious peoples leaving only the “logic and reason” of atheism.
“”in that case if the fsm does exist” hip hip ho ray the world is going to be a better place”"
Ps is Augie using the cinimon ring and are you doing all your homework ????
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2:48 pm
Christ and the United States will stop the FSM before it can truly be a danger.
And then the archmagi of atheism will answer for their crimes against humanity.
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2:54 pm
HEY tell Aug your preggers and tell him your going to give Birth to a Turd
Watch him run like a woodchuck
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12:40 pm
Looks like the cartoon worshiping nutjob needs to be locked up for sanity issues.
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7:40 pm
“Remember, Christians love thy neighbor even if they are sinners.”
i want you to read an article called “a question to Christians.”
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12:08 pm
I can assume what it boils down to.
And to that I only say we only wish to see you join his holy kingdom with us. How in any way is that “hateful”?
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12:36 pm
When you tell people that they’re wrong for their beliefs and that they should be ashamed of themselves for being who they are when they aren’t hurting anyone (and don’t give me that ‘but they’re hurting their soul’ shit, that’s your OPINION, not the truth.).
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1:47 pm
You not a very Good recruiter for the Army of Slaves. Homophobic mind controling Zombie worshiping Nutcase’s
Go Vist the Moonies or the Scientology they will sort you out and Train you(r)mind
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4:09 pm
I’m sorry that you don’t have love inside your heart to see the truth. I will pray for you every day for your heart of stone to be melted.
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1:42 pm
Where is that article?
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9:14 am
Hilarious that you should ask that, Doc, considering you commented on it 3 days ago. Getting lost doing all that spinning?
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11:36 am
You’re an idiot either way ex-atheist…. such things don’t exist and atheists don’t have a “god”.
“Remember, Christians love thy neighbor even if they are sinners.”
Really? And even if he’s black? Or gay? By all what i did read on this site, i really doubt you do love a different person.
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12:06 pm
As long as they’re christian they’ll be forgiven.
And yes gay Christians exist, they accept their homosodomy and pledge not to engage in their homogay desire.
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12:34 pm
No, gay christians accept that God and Jesus love them and it doesn’t matter if they are gay. If you want to go back to the dark ages, by all means, do so. Just make sure you shut the hell up and don’t cry when a man beats you.
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1:49 pm
No they don’t
again for them that’s a Personal Choice
What right do you have to tell them what to do and how to live their life
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9:07 am
“As long as they’re christian they’ll be forgiven.”
Just not by YOUR lot.
“And yes gay Christians exist…”
Yes they do.
“…they accept their homosodomy…”
Yes they do.
“…and pledge not to engage in their homogay desire.”
Mm-hm, sure they do. That’s what your “camps” are for, isn’t it? You truly are naive, Cartoon.
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5:06 pm
“As long as they’re christian they’ll be forgiven.
And yes gay Christians exist, they accept their homosodomy and pledge not to engage in their homogay desire.”
What the fuck is “homosodomy”?
And you still didn’t learn that there are no “homogays”?
You really are an idiot…
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9:42 pm
XD I don’t know what the heck I just read but it was funny!
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12:44 am
Atheism=No god, no satan, NO RELIGION. Atheism is the LACK OF A RELIGION. We have no god, no satan, and certainly no “holy prophecy” or any bullshit like that. We DON’T WORSHIP ANYTHING. There is no “flying spaghetti monster”, and the Large Hadron Collider is a PARTICLE ACCELERATOR, it doesn’t steal souls, and it doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with religion. It is pure science! Science isn’t evil either. It has helped us advance as a species, sure, some of the things it has brought us haven’t exactly been great for our terrible little planet, such as pollution brought about by vehicles. But science has helped us nonetheless.
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12:17 am
Dear God,
Please bless your faithful and loyal servants in the grace of your love. Guide and inspire us in our march against the heathen influence of the flying spaghetti monster. Provide us with the wisdom and fortitude to defend the Holy name of You and Your Son, Jesus Christ.
We ask this in the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.
–Amen.
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12:24 am
Considering you believe in a lie, it’s not surprising you believe in a joke.
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12:31 am
Amen. I can feel God’s love flowing through me as I type this.
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2:39 am
Are you sure its just not the love of the priest that’s behind you?
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4:18 am
Best You Shove
“” A TAMPAX UP YOUR ASSHOLE “”
After all
“” You Don’t Want Gods LOVE TO LEAK OUT “”
Erich Sean
“” Oh I Prayed Last Night and the LORD CUM INTO ME “”
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12:44 am
Brother Erich understands and for this, he shall be saved and be with Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven.
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1:51 am
One of the rules that christians need to follow is to be humble and loving, Erich has shown only hate and pride.
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5:10 am
Corn hole “Cassidy” Penis
HOW YOU BEEN GETTING ON WITH THE PRAYER I WROTE FOR YOU
Here it is again for you
“DEAR GOD”
Who had A Bastard Son Called Jesus Born out of Your Holy Wedlock
I Pray to To You Tonight and Every night in the christian Supplicant position of my Bare ass in the Air Cheeks Spread wide Ready to receive the Jizz dom of the lord up my ass
Give me the Strength to hold my Sin Stick tight while i think of the Blessed not so Virgin Mary.
Dear Jesus
Call Forth the unbelievers and Demons of the night,Day and the internet so that i may Smite them
I Bask in the Shadow of your Phallus of Righteousness,
I Fear the evil of the truth that others preach to me and the acolyte’s and disciples at Christwire.org.
Show me the way up the garden path of Eden so You may Show me GODS Trouser Serpent in its Full Glory.
Give Me Your STRAP ON PORK SWORD So i may Smite deeply into our Non Christian Christwire posters.
Hold me Jesus
Hold my Crucifix nail,My Sin Nail Tight as i return from your garden.
For it is My Crucifix nail that i must use insted of your holy Trouser lance to impale the Many Homogays goths and emo’s that inhabit the Holy land of America.
“Ah homomen”
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11:20 pm
Your mocking causes me to pity you or it is said that during the end times, there will be those that ridicule God’s Word.
“Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, and saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water:” –2 Peter 3:3-5
We then later learn the fate of these scoffers and mockers of God. Here’s a hint, it’s a pretty warm place.
“…and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.” –2 Peter 3:10
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1:49 am
Except there’s no evidence or proof that what they said was true.
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2:41 am
At least the FSM can be seen. Lets find God in this… Oh I think were gonna be here a while
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8:55 am
Why is your inability to see God evidence that He does not exist?
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9:24 am
A Blind man can’t see cars but he can gather evidence that they exist
Such as crossing the Freeway
God Does not exist because no one can provide scientific facts that he exist.
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11:17 am
Why is your delusion that God exists considered evidence?
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3:31 am
lol just because somethings in your mind doesn’t mean its actually there in the real world… PS: IF your seeing things that aren’t there, you might wanna get it checked out
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11:36 pm
Ridiculous!
I can’t see air. Am I breathing in something that doesn’t exist?
Does everyone see how easy it is to destroy liberal atheist arguments?
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1:50 am
You can feel air, you can see the effects of air, and you can test and measure air.
So congrats, you failed to ‘destroy’ anything except your credibility.
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3:32 am
That awkward moment where even Jesus would face palm @ Cassidy. Son your too stupid, walk the other direction
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11:36 pm
Bunk! No one can see electricity and I surely won’t be sticking a butter knife into an electric socket any time soon.
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10:51 pm
“No one can see electricity”
have you even heard of Nicola Tesla? Or lightning, for that matter? Have you seen a spark when you touch something that has a higher or lower charge than you? That’s all electricity, (except for Tesla, just look up pics of him) and all of it can be seen with the naked eye, without any special equipment, and it all happens rather frequently. I honestly hope you get struck by lightning and go blind from it.
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4:26 am
In this Non Photoshoped picture you can see the earths atmosphere
its the very thin blue area just above the disk of the Earth
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8:00 am
You really are the dumbest people to say that the FSM is real.Can you not see this thing is CGI. Gits…
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11:29 pm
If it’s false, how could it be spotted in the first place? =/
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2:41 am
where was I when it happaned. Good old CGI’s
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12:18 pm
Mike thanks for that story I only got to hear a portion of it on the news on my way home. I’m not surprised that the atheists would attack the most holiest Christian site inthe world, but I didn’t see TSM coming. Great Job!!!
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4:45 pm
I wonder which part of “Atheist don’t belive in a “god” and they don’t have one” you don’t get it?
And it’s even say in the article title… FALSE (same as this article).
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3:40 pm
you’re just magic , i didn’t have to laugh has his for a long time
To continue as her you will go far, It’s a pity that have not as you in france
vous etes carrement feller du bocal
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8:17 pm
I thought it looked a little more like Amy Winehouse!
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7:37 am
I shall provide this warning:
If you continue to use the Lord’s name in vain, you will commit your soul to Satan. If you fake facts and speak without knowing you are lying. Especially since 2 of the 3 displayed pictures are photoshopped, including the so-called evidence-video.
God has zero tolerance on liars and those who use is name in vain. If you are a man or a woman of God, your tongue shall only speak the truth! Jesus didn’t die for liars.
Best regards,
Kletti.
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7:36 pm
No, Jesus DID die for liars, sinners, and every other person on earth.
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7:33 pm
I HAVE SEEN THE FACE OF THE TRUE GOD!!!!! ALL HAIL THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER BEFORE YOUR FATE IS SEALED!!!!! STOP WORSHIPING JESUS, HE HAS DONE NOTHING, WORSHIP THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER AND HE SHALL NOT SEND YOUR SOULS TO HELL!!!!!!
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