• FarmVille attacks Christianity with dinosaurs and homogay animal sex acts

    July 3, 2012 6:58 am 140 comments
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  • By Exbrony

    FARMVILLE has launched an all-out attack on Christianity with evolutionist dinosaurs, strange animal sex acts, genetically modified “Frankenfoods” and endorsement of the depraved furrysexual lifestyle — all while exposing unsuspecting users to the degenerate, perverted cultures of the Dutch, the Germans and other foreign races.

    In this shocking image taken directly from the FarmVille game, you can clearly see an ankylosaurus performing cross-species homogay mouthsex on a large male or “boomer” red kangaroo while a small boy in a furrysexual “furry” sex suit looks on in unabashed voyeuristic curiosity. The tail of the dinosaur is unnaturally erect, which is a subliminal reference to a tumescent phallus, and which also provides easy access to its sex parts. At the left of the photograph you can see a blasphemous hybrid “firefly cow” whose glowing hindquarters signal that it too is sexually “turned on” and is ready to be mounted by whatever animal, dinosaur, garden gnome or fantastical chimera wanders on to the farm next.

    As is all too evident from this single, shocking screen shot, there are almost too many things wrong with this photograph to count, so it is best to count them.

    1. Dinosaurs

    The recent inclusion of dinosaurs in the game is a slap in the face for Bible-believing Christians everywhere. Such animals — which no longer exist — are the pin-up pets of radical, strident atheist biologists like Richard Dawkins, who claim that they “evolved” from earlier species over millions of years, rather than being part of God’s six-day creation of the universe less than 10,000 years ago. Adding insult to injury, so-called scientists deny that dinosaurs were wiped out in Noah’s flood, saying instead that they were wiped out by an asteroid impact. A very convenient asteroid impact, some might say. Except that the dinosaurs weren’t all wiped out because birds are actually dinosaurs. Whatever you say, Professor Dawkins!

    2. Cross-species homogay animal sex

    FarmVille offers almost unlimited permutations of simulated animal sex acts. It is quite possible, for example, to position an emu so that it appears to be sodomising a corgi, or to place a wombat so that it appears to be performing analingus (or “farm-rimming”) on a crocodile. Ornamental gnomes — some of them dressed in “furry” animal sex suits — can also be positioned so it appears that they are sexually penetrating animals or each other.

    2. Furrysexual outfits

    It’s not just the gnomes who dress up in furry sex suits, either. Players are encouraged to dress in costumes that range from a shark to a sasquatch (an obvious reference to the “Sasquatch of Sodomy“, Skrillex) to a Chinese dragon (a clear attempt to pander to the lucrative north-east Asian “gayfur” market).

    These costumes appear similar to the smelly, poorly made cartoon-animal suits that human furrysexuals wear during their perverted role-playing sex games. Furrysexual costumes also contribute to pollution on account of the large amounts of toxic dry-cleaning chemicals needed to remove bodily sex fluids from the fake “fur” once the participants in these sicko sex games have spent their spendings.

    3. Foreigners

    The game mechanics of FarmVille force players to “befriend” as many other players as possible. The easiest way to do this is to by visiting a Facebook “FarmVille friends” page and asking people to “befriend” you. When your reporter tried this for research purposes he found himself “befriended” by people from every continent but Antarctica and of every religion but Manichaeism.

    Imagine your unsuspecting son or daughter being “befriended” and groomed by a radical Muslim Islamist terrorist from Indonesia or Turkey! Or being told by an atheist Chinese or Japanese that there is no god! Or worse, being initiated into the sexual depravities of the Dutch and Germans, who are notorious for perversions known as “watersports” and “scat play” (under no circumstances should any Christian do a Bing! search for “Dutch pancake”, “reverse Dutch steamboat”, “Dutch sweater” or “German alarm clock”).

    Many Thais also play FarmVille, and their names often end with the suffix “porn”. This presents FarmVille players with a constant temptation to surf the web for hardcore pornography and perhaps even to take a sex-tourism holiday to Bangkok to debase themselves in the fleshpots of Soi Cowboy and the depraved ladypart-stretching sex shows of Patpong. Possibly contracting exotic venereal diseases and taking them back to their unsuspecting American wives.

    4. GM crops

    Farmville also promotes genetically modified GM “Frankenfoods” crops such as “super cranberries” and “super candied yams”, which is an affront to the great American farming tradition. It is not for no reason that American taxpayers continue to spend $20 billion a year on farm subsidies so that American farmers can continue to farm inefficiently without worrying about competition from Australia, New Zealand and other countries, and can continue to produce crops that nobody wants — such as corn that goes straight to landfill and milk that goes straight down the drain.

    It will come as no surprise that Zynga, the makers of this breathtakingly obscene, frustrating and poorly designed game, are based in that most un-American of all American cities, San Francisco.

    It is time for a boycott. Christians all, do what is right and free yourself from the shackles of a crazed perversion that makes you sit there all day hitting “reload” because the whole game always seizes up any time you click on anything. And which is indoctrinating your children with atheist values and sexual perversions of every stripe.

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    About The Author
    Arthur Durry Arthur Durry is a lively, inactive Australian whose interests include biblical exegesis, cricket and seafood. Formerly known as Exbrony, he was never a brony.

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