Gay Scientists Invent Mutant Mosquito To Unleash Homo Gay Disease
Homosexual superscientists have used their naturally duplicitous minds to unleash the most nefarious plot upon the normal population. Using a bizarre mix of advanced genetics and immoral gene splicing, the gays have created a mutant mosquito that can transmit homosexuality with one bite. This summer, all of us are at risk of turning gay and even more terrifying, catching a homogay illness.
Mosquitoes are terrifying and dangerous insects. Every year, their bites are able to kill fully grown human and adults in the most brutal of deaths. Their bites will kill over 1 million children per year. It’s well known that mosquito bites are entirely responsible for the Bubonic plague and the West Nile Virus that terrified all of us only years ago.
But despite all these things, the threat of turning homosexual from just going on a camping trip or playing a late night game of summer league baseball has everyone in the throes of panic.
In Sammamish, Washington, ground zero for this new breed of genetic mosquitoes, locals report a sharp 68% increase in homosexual activities such as produce yearning. One man, Clarence Carter reports:
“I was just walking in the park and some normal looking boys were playing ultimated frisbee game near the big lake. I sat and watched them for a while, they were just rolling in the mosquito thick grass and scratching as they got more bites. Eventually the game turned to horror because, and I know what I saw, but there was 3 acts of reverse sodomy and I saw two of them musk taint the gootch of another man. And their girlfriends were watching. I was so happy I had the new Off! mosquito pack giving me a shield. It wasn’t until later on the news that I heard the full story of these gay causing mosquitoes. I saw it with my own eyes, turned normal college boys gays and their girlfriends just cried and screamed in horror watching the gay change process.”
In this undated security camera based photo from the early 1990s, scientists at the CDC store a vial of Freddy Mercury’s liquid DNA. This DNA was noted to be ‘phenomenally homosexual’ and meant to help scientists understand just how gay DNA works. Unfortunately, a gay scientist stole this vile and helped a rogue group of gay scientists create the deadly mutant mosquitoes at their base in Sammammish, Washington.
The account of Clarence Carter matches stories rolling in from around the nation.
In New York, one woman reports that during a balcony barbeque, her husband complained of a mosquito bite, told her they were divorced several hours later and by the next morning, called her from Vegas to announce a gay union with a cabana boy he met.
It’s estimated that every summer in the USA alone, each individual is bitten over 20 to 200 times by mosquitoes. With how and aggressive this new breed of insect can be, those numbers will only increase.
Sources claim that the mosquitoes are actually genetic chimeras that carry the replicated DNA of late rock legend Freddy Mercury. The aggressive, jousting nature of the mosquitoes’ sucker definitely matches the nature of Mercury and it is well known the CDC stored his DNA to undertstand the most ‘potent’ case of genetic homosexuality they have ever seen.
We will continue to monitor the spread of these mutant genetic mosquitoes and collect data for future reports. In the meantime, please invest in insect repellant and much like if you found yourself on the set of the Walking Dead, know that once someone is infected by one of these mosquitoes you must run to safety so they don’t try to pin you in their altered mental state.
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Author: Mike Watson
Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook
5:38 am
Hogwash…is what I say about your article
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7:47 am
I found it very informative. I shall go out at once and buy mosquito repellent.
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10:33 am
Don’t bother because you can’t catch homosexuality…It’s not some virus or plague that spreads from person to person
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1:07 pm
Can you prove your statement at an at least 95% confidence level with a repeatable scientific procedure that has been verified as statistically signifant by a community of your academically approved peers of science?
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1:11 pm
You can’t even do that…Don’t try and act smart when the most you can do is make shit up…
Also, I’ve been living with gay friend for a few years now…Guess what? Still straight!
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1:26 pm
O, we shall free you from your roomates brainwashing. I promise you!
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1:33 pm
Adam, if you can prove your statement has a repeatable scientific procedure that has been verified and all that, THEN you can talk.
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2:21 pm
You made the statement, son. Back it up with fact.
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2:35 pm
LN
so how do you feel about Smegma breath now he says
“Erich Sean
July 14, 2012
4:55 pm
How does it feel to usurp LN as the biggest loser on this site? You earned it, champ.”
“Now Don’t that make your heart Glow with love for Erich Sean, or is that the glow from a Molotov cocktail”
After all an’nt we supposed to tithe them with Alcohol
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2:52 pm
Adam, you never back up your arguments with facts, you always lie and insult people whenever things don’t go your way.
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3:09 pm
“O, we shall free you from your roomates brainwashing. I promise you!”
He isn’t brainwashing me you dumb bastard! He’s my best friend, and the one to help me get over my suicidal tendencies, and one of true friends! If you ever do any thing to him, I will fucking destroy you!
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3:15 pm
We are your friends now.
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3:19 pm
“We are your friends now.”
No you fucking aren’t! You’re a stalker with some one-way bromance for me that borderlines between creepy and cult like. You are not my friend and never have been.
I have real friends, friends that share in my good times and bad, friends who will share a laugh or sad moment with, friends who actually care about me
Take your false friendship and shove it up your ass you pretentious asshole!
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3:29 pm
That hurts.
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4:18 pm
Wait, you’re telling him to use science? That bullshit up there isn’t science.
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5:10 pm
Finally! I broke through that thick freaking wall of yours and maybe now you might actually listen to me instead of taking every freaking thing I say for granted!
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5:13 pm
No, you are mean! I was only nice to you. I even got you a ticket to the MLB all star game. And this is how you treat me, well good bye.
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5:20 pm
Aug me old Homosexual pedo perv not answering me about the plane ticket
Cant you and the others raise the air fair between you or is Smegma breath whinging and wailing “don’t send passion pitt the airline ticket its my job you promised”
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5:16 pm
you have money? how dare you not give it to the church they need a new 76″ TV.
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9:06 pm
YOU SHOULD TAKE HOMOSEXUALITY MORE SERIOUS. IT IS A TERRIBLE DISEASE. I SHALL PRAY FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS!
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5:45 am
“Gay mosquitoes are bold and sassy.” Just like their masters.
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10:50 am
Uncontested Divorce in under 2 hours with one party not Represented Fair Legal USA Law ?
This Story is so wrong on so many levels
They are Scraping through the bottom of the Shithouse Barrel
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11:34 am
This just in: Christianity is a front for hateful people who can’t stand peace and unity.
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11:38 am
O’s girlfriend is a Christian.
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11:49 am
You just learned that…Anyway, I don’t take any offense from L.N’s comment because I know he’s talking about your kind of Christians…as in the crazy Christwire Christian
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1:09 pm
Aye, real Christians who follow their Bible and aren’t hateful are okay with us.
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1:40 pm
I know many Christians and they would be and ARE aghast at the behavior of the so called Christians on this site
Their faith stops them from Lashing out in the manor that us “non Fundamentalist Christians and others” do
often they support our rants but hold to a higher calling not to resort to what they see as the un christian rantings of the site staff
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3:11 pm
My girlfriend is actually offended by the things these “Christians” say on a daily basis
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1:27 pm
Gay mosquitos try to bite your butt and get in your pants.
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5:59 pm
I thought you guys didn’t believe in science?
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11:56 am
I know, it’s horrible. Luckily the one that tried to climb up my rear passage got trapped in my butt hairs and died a lonely homosexual death. Praise the Lord.
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12:06 pm
Nice description Bet you were having Christian raptures with Something up your ass hole giving you a “Rim job”
You sure it was not Abe or Suzie
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4:07 pm
That’s skyrim job
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1:34 pm
Have you ever noticed there are mosquitoes that will do just that? It’s not enough for them to just bite your arms or neck. You will get home and find one managed t crawl into your pants and bite you on the intimate thigh area? Or even worse? If you research the term ‘summer penile syndrome’, you naysayers see that’s a diagnosis we actually have to use in medical field. I used to think only chiggers were this seductive, now it looks like mosquitoes really have to be added as a culprit for this diagnosis.
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1:58 pm
Congrats, you can use google, that doesn’t make you a doctor.
And how is that ‘proof’ that mosquitoes are gay?
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2:05 pm
Did you not read the science? Pick up the phone!
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2:51 pm
How can you read when you’ve stared at the sun for four hours?
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11:59 am
That’s an awkward thing to say, LN. Have you been stalking August Weisz like a homogay?
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4:24 pm
“That’s an awkward thing to say, LN. Have you been stalking August Weisz like a homogay?”
You’re an idiot. There are no “homogays”
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2:45 pm
You say mutants, I immediately think
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4:24 pm
Did you know he is Jewish?
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4:59 pm
Uh… yeah! That’s the point of Magneto’s character because he lived through the Holocaust.
I watched X-Men First Class more times than I’m comfortable to say. And those were only the times in the theater.
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5:11 pm
It really was a well put together movie. I’m still displeased with how Cyclops and Professor X were killed off in the trilogy.
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8:10 pm
Aye, Professor X still is a favorite character of mine.
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10:34 pm
PROFESSOR X FOR LIFE.
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5:40 pm
I was having a really CRAPPY day, and then I stumbled on this story, and this ridiculous web site. REALLY???? A mutabt mosquito can cause qa person to gay within 10 minutes. what a load of you know what!I grew up in the Babptist church, and half my friend s are gay, and they were born that way, you idiots. do you protest at soldier’s funerals, too? YOu are as crazy as that other group of idots. OMG!
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5:51 pm
If anyone beleves this crap-gay scientists- etc, then you are just as crazy. And, that story that is told in the article who “saw” 2 college boys turn gay, you are must be smoking something, buddy! Anyone spreading this or any other ridculous rumoris being really irresponsible for creating panic over sonething that is absolutely impossible for it to happen. get your heads out of your asses and look at the real world. And, the “Christian” Center for Disease control???? That is a riot. At least I had a laugh or two coming here, but when I see that all this is is an anti-gay web site. Why do you not act like Christians? You are the epitamy of everything that REAL Christians HATE.
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5:56 pm
Fact: Mosquitos, which take your blood, are females. So there’s no way that they are gay.
And you still need to work on your photoshop skills.
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9:04 pm
SO THERE LESBIAN MOSQUITOS… ?
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12:01 pm
These are genetically engineered gay mosquitoes we’re talking about. Their existence totally goes against anything natural and Godly.
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9:17 am
That’s what you said. You have no evidence of that.
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11:19 pm
No sources whatsoever?
Mike Watson, I seriously hope that this is some sort of a joke. Homosexuality is not contagious, it’s hereditary and completely gene based, the chances of catching homosexuality are on par with the chances of turning into the opposite gender.
Before someone tells me that I should prove this, keep in mind that it’s Mr. Watson’s responsibility to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that homosexuality is transferred via mosquito bites.
No, hearsay does not count as evidence.
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