• Lesbian Atheists Invent Pacu, Release Testicle Eating Fish In Lake Yeager Illinois

    July 10, 2012 2:19 am 100 comments
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  • PacuThe men of Illinois should be very afraid.  A miliant group of lesbian atheists have used genetics to create a breed of fish called the Pacu.  The name of the fish is an anagram that stands for Penis Amputating Castrations Underwater.  The pacu fish is actually a specialized genetic weapon.

    The pacu river beast was first discovered not far from a genetics research facility in South America.  The host of television show River Monsters, Jeremy Wade, went to investigate horror stories from local fishermen, who claimed a fish ‘with the mouth of a human hooker’ were killing male villagers by brutally malling of their genitals.

    Females were never attacked, only males.  And the episode of River Monsters found the the stories were entirely true.  There was speculation that the pacu fish, not native to the area, was geneticall engineered and trained to bite off the reproductive units of men.  The horrifying story follows:

    After airing and terrifying everyone, the story was quickly forgotten by local media and international authorities who were called in to see if the animal was created as part of an organized crime against humanity.  Were lesbian scientists creating animals to destroy men?

    The question is now answered, as the Lake Yeager findings show that it has been stocked with thousands of these beasts.  And they are spreading.

    New reports show that 49 cases of bitten testicles and penis has occurred in American lakes since July 8th.  The quick turnaround proves what everyone should fear most:  phallic eating fish have been released in American waters.

    Even more terrifying is the powerful genetic makeup of this fish.  In addition to being able to survive in fresh lake water or salt water, these fish can survive in perfectly chlorinated pools, in sewer systems and even on land for shorts amount of time.  The fish truly does seem to be weaponized and bred to bring horror to men.

    In this image, the pacu fish displays the teeth of a human.  ItThe lesbian superscientists who created the fish used advanced genetics and likely spliced some of their very own man-hating genes into this fish to create the ultimate castration machine.  This image shows how this stealthy beast earns the name ‘Penis Amputating Castrations, Underwater’.  The animal is a killing machine and is now spreading like crazy through America’s lake systems.

    It is important to remember that the pacu can survive in a swimming pool.  So now lesbians who live in your neighborhood can hear when you plan a summer party and wait for you and your buddies to chum up the water with ‘food’ for their pacus, then quickly toss them into your pool and laugh with delight as you and your friends have your mansacks mutilated.


    In this image, you can see that the pacu fish has successfully castrated a man and is feasting on his Mr. Porker.  The fish has a bite just like a pit bull, it clamps down and will never let up until the meal is done.  Fortunately, Chicago area SWAT teams were able to assault the fish and pull it from the river before it was able to eat all the unnamed man’s genitals.  Even in death, the pacu fish refuses to let go of its phallic prize and prove the rugged brutality and flawless design of this lesbian scientist’s killing machine.

    An international gaming agent holds a sedated pacu.  All pacu fish are female and reproduce by a weird process called oogenesis, where lesbian scientists have combined human eggs with that of a fish and created a gamete line that does not need a Y chromosome to fertilize.  Instead, the pacu fish are all ‘double-x’, meaning that the human mother and female fish are the ‘mom and dad’.  This genetic chimera is the worst offense to God and nature that has even been created. 

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    About The Author
    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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