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YoutubeLesbian Atheists Invent Pacu, Release Testicle Eating Fish In Lake Yeager Illinois
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Mike Watson
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Animals In The News Jeremy Wade Pacu Pacu Ball-Cutter Pacu Eats Testicles Pacu Illinois Pacu Illinois Lake Pacu Lake Lou Yaeger Pacu Papua New Guinea Testicle Eating Fish Illinois Testicle Eating Fish Illinois Lake video Weird News
The men of Illinois should be very afraid. A miliant group of lesbian atheists have used genetics to create a breed of fish called the Pacu. The name of the fish is an anagram that stands for Penis Amputating Castrations Underwater. The pacu fish is actually a specialized genetic weapon.
The pacu river beast was first discovered not far from a genetics research facility in South America. The host of television show River Monsters, Jeremy Wade, went to investigate horror stories from local fishermen, who claimed a fish ‘with the mouth of a human hooker’ were killing male villagers by brutally malling of their genitals.
Females were never attacked, only males. And the episode of River Monsters found the the stories were entirely true. There was speculation that the pacu fish, not native to the area, was geneticall engineered and trained to bite off the reproductive units of men. The horrifying story follows:
After airing and terrifying everyone, the story was quickly forgotten by local media and international authorities who were called in to see if the animal was created as part of an organized crime against humanity. Were lesbian scientists creating animals to destroy men?
The question is now answered, as the Lake Yeager findings show that it has been stocked with thousands of these beasts. And they are spreading.
New reports show that 49 cases of bitten testicles and penis has occurred in American lakes since July 8th. The quick turnaround proves what everyone should fear most: phallic eating fish have been released in American waters.
Even more terrifying is the powerful genetic makeup of this fish. In addition to being able to survive in fresh lake water or salt water, these fish can survive in perfectly chlorinated pools, in sewer systems and even on land for shorts amount of time. The fish truly does seem to be weaponized and bred to bring horror to men.
In this image, the pacu fish displays the teeth of a human. ItThe lesbian superscientists who created the fish used advanced genetics and likely spliced some of their very own man-hating genes into this fish to create the ultimate castration machine. This image shows how this stealthy beast earns the name ‘Penis Amputating Castrations, Underwater’. The animal is a killing machine and is now spreading like crazy through America’s lake systems.
It is important to remember that the pacu can survive in a swimming pool. So now lesbians who live in your neighborhood can hear when you plan a summer party and wait for you and your buddies to chum up the water with ‘food’ for their pacus, then quickly toss them into your pool and laugh with delight as you and your friends have your mansacks mutilated.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGE IS GRAPHIC. IT SHOWS THE PACU FISH THAT HAS BITTEN THE LIFEROD OF AN INNOCENT MAN IN LAKE LIGEURA. PLEASE IMMEDIATELY DEMAND ALL WOMEN/CHILREN LEAVE THE ROOM BEFORE VIEWING.
In this image, you can see that the pacu fish has successfully castrated a man and is feasting on his Mr. Porker. The fish has a bite just like a pit bull, it clamps down and will never let up until the meal is done. Fortunately, Chicago area SWAT teams were able to assault the fish and pull it from the river before it was able to eat all the unnamed man’s genitals. Even in death, the pacu fish refuses to let go of its phallic prize and prove the rugged brutality and flawless design of this lesbian scientist’s killing machine.
An international gaming agent holds a sedated pacu. All pacu fish are female and reproduce by a weird process called oogenesis, where lesbian scientists have combined human eggs with that of a fish and created a gamete line that does not need a Y chromosome to fertilize. Instead, the pacu fish are all ‘double-x’, meaning that the human mother and female fish are the ‘mom and dad’. This genetic chimera is the worst offense to God and nature that has even been created.
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Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook 
Christwire Author Mutilate the FACTS again
Another Gross misrepresentation of the ” FACTS ”
HI Ho its Assole Ripping Time Yet Again
Where do we all start
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You couldn’t tear an asshole out of a wet paper bag — as you so frankly admit in your impotent and unpunctuated plea “Where do we all start”.
Laughing out loud!
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yet again, exbony must puff out his feathers and show the entire world his English major.
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English major? Ha this guy thinks he’s smart because he can type big words. Half the time he doesn’t even know what they mean. I’m Still laughing at how he tried to use the word pleonasm for extremely hateful. He’s just trying to make himself feel better by holding a thesaurus in his hands while typing to try and find the most immense words one could think of. Sadly enough, he probably dropped out of high school and is living on his parents trailer park salary.
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Apricot, I liked it better when your non-sequiturs were intentional.
L&L, If “extremely hateful” isn’t a pleonasm please supply some examples of mild-to-moderate hatefulness.
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“pleonasm”
The definition is in most of your posts, Gelding. Weren’t you told once that using “big” words doesn’t make you a “big” person? It just makes you look……stuffy.
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You think we should only converse at a fifth-grade level?
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“You think we should only converse at a fifth-grade level?”
Not at all. But, it would be nice if you stopped trying to act as though you were at an “English Professors” convention, trying to “one up” the others. I think Maddy said it best when she said “it doesn’t make you look smarter, it makes you look like a smart-a**ed b**ch”. Just sayin’.
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This is totally gross. Why would people make such abominations? Lesbians always complain they aren’t treated equal and then do things like this.
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This is almost as evil as the bearsharktopus. Probably more evil because there are so many of them.
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August, can you add a parody disclaimer to the website?
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Christians always complain about how everyone is ” Immoral” And try to ” Save ” Them.
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Pacu (Portuguese pronunciation: [paˈku]) is a common name used to refer to several species of omnivorous South American freshwater fish that are related to the piranha. Pacu and piranha don’t have similar teeth, although the main difference is jaw alignment; piranha have pointed, razor-sharp teeth in a pronounced underbite, whereas pacu have squarer, straighter teeth like a human in a less severe underbite, or a slight overbite.[1] Additionally, full-grown pacu are much larger than piranha, reaching up to 3 feet and 55 pounds in weight, in the wild.
The common name pacu is generally applied to fish classified under the following genera:[3]
Acnodon
Colossoma
Metynnis
Mylesinus (Mylopus)
Mylossoma
Ossubtus
Piaractus
Tometes
Utiaritichthys
Pacu is a term of Brazilian Indian origin. When the large fishes of the Colossoma genus entered the aquarium trade in the US and other countries, they were erroneously labeled pacu. In the Amazon, the term pacu is reserved to smaller and medium sized fishes in the Metynnis, Mylossoma and Myleus genera. The Colossoma macropomum fish are known as tambaqui, whereas Piaractus brachypomus is known as pirapitinga.
Pacu, along with piranha, are currently further classified into the Serrasalminae subfamily. Serrasalminae means “serrated salmon family” and is a name which refers to the serrated keel running along the belly of these fish. However, dental characteristics and feeding habits further separate the two groups from each other.
Pacus inhabit most rivers and streams in the Amazon and Orinoco river basins of lowland Amazonia, where they form part of the highly diverse Neotropical fish fauna. They have also recently been found in the riverine systems of Papua New Guinea, where it is believed the fish has been introduced to aid the local fishing industry.
While they are not aggressive carnivores like the piranha, their crushing jaw system, used primarily for eating seeds and nuts, can be hazardous. One toddler needed surgery after a pacu (misreported as a piranha) bit her finger at Edinburgh Butterfly and Insect World in Scotland. Commenting on the incident, Deep Sea World zoological manager Matthew Kane warned “Pacus will eat anything, even children’s wiggling fingers.”[5] Another such incident occurred when a 60 cm (24-inch) Pacu (named Pacu) jumped out of his tank in Fort Worth, TX and bit the nuts of his owner, which was later re-attached minus one left testicle
Discoveries in the United States have been reported in Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky , Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas, Utah,Wisconsin and Wyoming.
State wildlife authorities typically advise home aquarists who wish to get rid of overgrown pacu to cut the heads off the fish and dispose of them as garbage.
I’m Suprised you Chose this Fish for your Fantasy Story a better choice would have Been the Snakehead Fish
The snakeheads are members of the freshwater perciform fish family Channidae, native to Africa and Asia. These elongated, predatory fish are distinguished by a long dorsal fin, large mouth and shiny teeth. They breathe air with gills as well as the suprabranchial organs developing when they grow older,[1] which is a primitive form of a labyrinth organ. The two extant genera are Channa in Asia and Parachanna in Africa, consisting of 30-35 species.
They have become notorious as invasive species.
This You Could have Spun as a Chinese Mutent Super fish that Walks on land that also has invaded America
Snakeheads became a national news topic in the US because of the appearance of Channa argus commonly known as northern snakeheads spawning in a Crofton, Maryland pond in 2002. Northern snakeheads became permanently established in the Potomac River around 2004, and possibly established in Florida. Apparently unestablished specimens have been found in Wawayanda, New York, two ponds in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and reservoirs in North Carolina.
From 2002 to 2003, one Los Angeles supermarket was found to have illegally sold approximately $25,000 worth of live snakeheads, which caused breakouts in local ecosystems.
In what was determined by the Army Corps of Engineers to be an isolated incident, a fisherman caught a single snakehead on October 2004 while fishing from Lake Michigan at Burnham Harbor in Chicago, Illinois. According to the United States Environmental Protection Agency, snakeheads have also been spotted in California, Florida, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island.
On April 25, 2011, a northern snakehead was found above Virginia’s Great Falls near Whites Ferry. Great Falls was supposedly a natural barrier that the fish was unable to cross. It is apparently the first time a northern snakehead was found above the falls.
In May 2011, a Brooklyn fish importer was arrested for importing 350 live snakeheads into New York. He had tried to pass the fish off as Chinese black sleepers (Bostrychus sinensis) in an effort to mislead customs. He also admitted to importing six more shipments in 2010. It is unknown if any of the fish had been released into local waterways.
On August 16, 2011, Delaware Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Control fisheries biologists captured a 25-inch snakehead in Beck’s Pond which they asserted had been illegally introduced. Officials warned that the snakeheads are known for aggressively protecting their young, and people should not try to catch the smaller fish.
On March 28, 2012, Don Cosden, from Maryland state’s Department of Natural Resources confirmed that they were offering store gift cards to the value of $200 and discounts on boat hire, as well as other prizes for catching and killing any snakehead fish. To enter the contest, anglers had to catch, kill and then post a picture of themselves with a dead snakehead caught in Maryland on the DNR’s website
In the Animal Planet TV series River Monsters, Jeremy Wade shows a dramatization of a snakehead, “the fish from hell”, stalking an unsuspecting baby and Chihuahua. With the help of a snakehead researcher, however, Wade shows that although it is capable of living outside of water and is able move on land, its weak pectoral muscles make movement difficult and render the snakehead an unlikely “stalker” on land.
The snakehead was featured in three Sci-fi Channel original pictures entitled Snakehead Terror, Frankenfish, and Swarm of the Snakehead.
There You ARE Plenty of Material to Mutilate in Artistic licence
“”IN THE NAME OF CHRISTWIRE””
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tl;dr
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“tl;dr”
Of course not. You wouldn’t want to “blur” the…..”story” with facts, now would you, Gelding?
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Here pony: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacu
To make it easier for you.
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There you go, PeePee — 36 is showing you how to argue on the internet like a normal person.
You just provide the link; you don’t cut and paste page after page of crap into a comment thread.
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“…36 is showing you how to argue on the internet like a normal person.”
…and for the first time, you’re TREATING 36 like a normal person, Gelding. Amazing how you can “be nice” when you NEED someone, huh?
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I never thought 36 was abnormal, just annoying, occasionally deficient in general knowledge and stubbornly wrong-headed regarding neologisms.
Oh, I’m sorry, are “neologism” and “deficient” the kind of “big words” you don’t want me to use?
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Hey Maniac,
…why do YOU insist on TYPING like this? Honestly A PROPER argument shouldn’t……………….. SOLELY rely on haughty RHETORICAL questions………………………………………………. So I ASK burger flipper… why continue? it’s not GIVING your perspective any SYMPATHY.
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Now HOW could I have missed you two posting after me?
“…just annoying, occasionally deficient in general knowledge and stubbornly wrong-headed regarding neologisms.”
You just couldn’t resist, could you, Gelding? Just had to let the “inside” thoughts “out”. (To think the Cartoon accuses ME of expressing my every thought.)
“Oh, I’m sorry, are “neologism” and “deficient” the kind of “big words” you don’t want me to use?”
You can use whatever words you chose, whenever you chose. Just don’t be offended when people call you a “know-it-all”. (By the way, I know what neologism means and your “deficiencies” are self-explanatory.)
“Hey Maniac,”
Nah. We’ve already been over this, Cartoon.
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Why does Ex-A always try to start the same arguments over and over. I will never understand this.
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I know. The Cartoon followed me around for TWO days before I finally responded. Doesn’t that kind of constitute stalking? Maybe harassment? GASP!! Cyber-bullying?!? Say it ain’t so, Cartoon. You STALKED me? You are a sick little Cartoon.
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This article is a good example of why women should not science.
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August displays his sexist attitude and his hatred towards equality.
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This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. People didn’t invent these fish. They’ve been shipped to the united states to be bought as pets. When people can no longer handle them, they let them go. Just like people do with snakes. It’s common sense. Stop being so gullible.
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Why would someone buy a testicle eating fish as a pet, unless they were lesbian?
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Why lesbians? Lesbians dont hate men, just because they arnt attracted to them doesnt mean they are man haters.
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If they loved man, they would submit themselves as nature intended.
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My God, you are a sexist pig, Doc. No. Really.
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I’m not sexist, I see women as equals.
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Like I just said, they arn’t attracted to men. But they do not hate men. They could love males like brothers or close friends.
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No offense, Adam but you obviouusly don’t see them as equals if you think they should “submit themselves” to men.
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I do not believe that Maddy has ever had the unique pleasure of making the acquaintance of a Lesbian, which would go some way in explaining her naivety.
Laughing out loud!
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@Taylor
I don’t think you’ve net an actual lesbian…because Maddy is completely right…I have lesbian friends, do they hate me because I’m a guy? Of course not, that’s be absurd
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You say you aren’t sexist, and yet you believe that women should submit themselves to men.
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then explain why homosexuality exists in the animal kingdom as well, and has existed since the begenning of time itself
it is also natural, you’re just afraid of it.
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@taylor
a lot of my best friends are lesbians, bisexuals,and homosexual males. am i gay? no. to think someone is evil or hates another person just because they have a different sexuality is plain stupid
@maddy sevenfold
thank you god for allowing there to be another person who knows that people are equal regardless of anything
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Go fuck yourself women have rights too
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“I’m not sexist, I see women as equals.”
Please, Doc. Equals to what?
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its an omnivore you blowhard. creating a fish that could only survive on one type of food would be the stupidest idea ever because it would die in less than a week. my guess is, someone bought the fish (it comes from south america), got bored of it, released it into the wild, then some backwards redneck decides to go skinny dipping in his river, and he gets his balls chomped on because its a loose hanging peice of meat (a piranah would do the same thing if it was the only food around), and then the guy decides to blame lesbian athiests because that kind of story will attract backwards rightwing nutjobs.
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Oh look they “created” again man them atheists sound awesome I mean they can create like your god they can trick your own god into doing there bidding. Who doesn’t wanna be an atheists they have super powers.
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When have atheists ever tricked God into anything?
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Ummm this site did just say we tricked him into burning places with fire last week or did you remove that from the site after you saw stupid it was?
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That was the gays, you idiot.
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Let me guess Lesbian are not gay in your fairy world
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Oh i’m sorry you said it’s the gay’s that can trick him, but this say’s Lesbian Atheists Invent so I’m sure that mean’s gay atheists there for atheists cane trick your so call all powerful god.
Even tho you all stop talking about it doesn’t make it no longer have been said…like your bible.
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nice sense of humor 😀
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I wonder, if Claire and I were still married, do you think that she would have stock our pool with these? I think I got out just in time, before the lesbian “scientists” created these. Thank you, Jesus!!!
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If you had a all powerful god made he would stop it..oh wait that would mean he’s real and gives a crap about you.
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Everything happens for a reason, Bruce.
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Ah Bruce dear asshole i know about your racist comments on this satirical website and that you hate black people and just about every other race in the world. Are you happy about it? Not for long because when judgement day comes you will have to face the wrath of God. Happy Bitch hunting.
Love,from west africa
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Are you stealing the Internet from your White neighbors?
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Must you insist on publicly displaying your racism, Mr. D’Anus?
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Not a racist. He is from Africa, and most tribes in Africa need to steal bandwidths from the White people living in cities. It is pure fact.
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“…steal bandwidths from the White people living in cities.”
Like I said, racist. You’re saying that NONE of the Black Africans living in the cities have internet or wireless?
“He is from Africa, and most tribes in Africa…”
So you just “assumed” that he was a member of a tribe and not possibly a city dweller? Like I said, racist.
“It is pure fact.”
Yeah? Show me, Mr. D’Anus.
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“Black Africans” are known as Tribesmen. Please stop being racist and call them what they prefer to be called. Also, they live in villages, not cities. Please stop being so ignorant about other cultures.
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“Please stop being so ignorant about other cultures.”
The irony is palpable now…
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I know, Ouroboros. It is ironic how Mainiac58 tries to act so smart about everything, yet he obviously doesn’t know the first thing about African culture. “Laughing Out Loud”
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. It is ironic how *Bruce Danus tries to act so smart about everything, yet he obviously doesn’t know the first thing about African culture.
There, fixed your comment
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I have been to Africa on a Missionary trip. I believe that I know quite a bit more about African culture than most people here. I forgive you for trying to smear my good name though, it was an honest mistake.
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“it was an honest mistake.”
No it wasn’t…I was actually trying to show how ignorant you are…
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I already forgave you, Ouroboros. There is no reason to beg for forgiveness anymore. You’re still A-OK in my book.
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Huh? I don’t want your forgiveness…I never want your forgiveness
You are an ignorant prick and that is the only message I’m trying to get across to you
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Apology accepted.
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I’ve never liked you, I don’t like you, and I will never like you
Go die
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HaHaHa. It is so much fun to joke around with each other like that. I don’t like you either. “Laughing Out Loud” Just joking. You’re my best friend, O-Dawg. I’m so glad we get to spend this time together. Maybe you can come on our annual camping trip on Mt. Hood this year. That would be awesome. I will send you some tickets to Portland, if you need them.
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I’m not joking…If I knew where you lived…I would grab as many of my knives as I could…and mutilate you…Let your blood paint the walls and forever stain my knives as a constant reminder that I made the world a better place by taking you from this mortal coil…
Sorry to take this from you, CelestialDeth… But Bruce’s head will be my trophy!
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I’ve invited you to my house, and I have just recently invited you on a camping trip. I live in Portland, OR. Come by for a visit anytime. We can hang out at one of my clubs. It’ll be great to meet you. I know you are probably as excited about meeting me as I am you. What dates do you have available? I can send you a ticket to Portland, just let me know what airport you will be flying out of and I will have it waiting.
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” I know you are probably as excited about meeting me as I am you.”
Oh am I exited to meet you…So that I may rip out your throat with my bare hands and laugh as your life force drains away and your blood showers over me…
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I think getting some drinks at one of my clubs sounds a lot more fun actually. You have an odd fantasy life, don’t you?
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Fantasy life? Oh no no…You mistake fantasy for my sadism…are you so blind as to not see my wish of your death? Preferably by my hand?
I was going to say I want you to suffer…but then I remembered that the gift of pain doesn’t belong to filth such as yourself
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I like you too, Ouroboros. Have a great day!
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Apology accepted Bruce, the healing can now begin, admit how wrong you were before!
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No, L.N., you are not invited on the camping trip. Go away.
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Lol, I was in a really sadistic mood last night…It’s funny reading my comments…
Bruce, would you kindly jUmp in front of a moving bus for me?
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Ouroboros, don’t respond, he’s just trying to piss you off.
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@Kingfisher
Lol thanks, I realize this now…last night I wasn’t in the best of moods (Which is probably obvious from my comments)
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I thought I was gonna get a ” Ya don’t say?” Type answer.
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Lesbians invented pacu? Utterly ridiculous!
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Just like some man inventing everything like people and the world so ridiculous.
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ok, im not an uber christain (im actually unitarian universalist) but even i have to say that your taking the “there is no god” speech a bit far. its ok to use it in a joke dude. but to go on and on like this is a bit much.
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Why is it a “bit much”?
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And why do you think the idea of there not being a god should be restricted to jokes?
Why are you trying to ghettoise KBLME’s non-belief?
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Why are YOU trying to feign any type of defense for someone that you constantly admonish for their use of the English language?
“Why are you trying to ghettoise KBLME’s non-belief?”
I’m pretty sure that you’re the ONLY one who sees it that way, Gelding. Good Christwire effort though.
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Not all lesbians hate men. Some do, and some heterosexuals hate men. Quite frankly, fuck those women.
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Some men hate women. Quite frankly, fuck those men.
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Meh, fuck EVERYBODY. Ultimately, everyone will try to stab you in the back.
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you know, i sometimes legitamately wonder if this website is like the onion, and its a joke website. that would be fun, but if its not, then whoever created this is a moron.
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Credit to this goes to Wikipedia
Pacu [pa’ku] refers to several common species of fish usually found in south america. They are know to inhabit many states in the U.S. So far, no pacu attacks have been reported in North America.
BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE INTERNET. BASK IN ITS INFINITE KNOWLAGE
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This story is obviously false. Everyone knows women can’t be scientists.
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Hahahahaha!
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I think the Gelding is afraid of “facts”. They might actually make more sense than these….”stories”.
Why not read it, Gelding? Afraid you might learn something outside your little box?
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“What do you want pony, a freaking medal?”
His reward will be great in heaven.
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Oh, I actually read it. PeePee pointlessly cut and pasted two Wikipedia articles.
It didn’t advance his “argument” because the pacu entry details a testicle attack, and the snakehead one is irrelevant.
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Oh, it’s going to be something alright.
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