With the fresh homegrown smells of the 4th of July still in everyone’s minds, it is a great time to reflect on why America is the greatest country in the history of Earth.
Back in the year 1776, Earth was ruled by a mean peopled named the European British. It is said their eyes glowed like that of Satan and their skins was colored red just like the devil! These people had the audacity to come here and try to kick out the native Americans who discovered and created this country as, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, in the year of our Lord 1492. One Native American named George Washington defied the European British’s attempts on taking of God’s country and in 1776, he kicked them back across the ocean with a heavenly wrath.
And it is on July 4th that we celebrate when George Washington and other native Americans blew the Eurobits all the way back across the ocean. We do this by blowing up fireworks in the sky, drinking bear and praising God for living in such a good country.
But America’s freedom is for everyone too. Jesus came back to Earth in the New Testament of the Bible, so everyone would have a chance to repent of their sins and become allied with America’s way of life. The fruits of America’s great endeavors are for everyone to enjoy, unless they are our enemies. As our passed not friends Saddam Hussein (Iraq terror), M. Knight Shalamylamy (Iran terror) and Marmar Qaddafi (overlord terror) can tell you, not partaking in the gifts of our great country leads to a great wrath being unleashed.
In honor of America and all the lesser countries who bow before our thrown and get to share our goods, let’s look at some of the things that make our country greater than.
1. McDonald’s Secret Sauce
McDonald’s has served over 1 billion hamburgers. I remember as a child, when the number on the signs was only in the millions. Then as time passed on and we conquered the Japanese, Saudis and other nations with kindness, McDonald’s spread even unto them.
I keep my fine physique by eating a good 7 or 8 McDonald’s sandwiches a week. My favorite is the McRib, but when I’m really hungry I know the Big Mac with some McDonald’s Secret Sauce on it will give me the strength I need to press on throughout the day.
In the following video, the American territory of Canada has the head chef of their country (who works at a McDonald’s) show the secret recipe of making McDonald’s Secret Sauce. This sauce has addicted people from every country who’ve earned a taste.
2. America’s Army
American’s army is the only army undefeated in war. America only attacks countries when necessary and we do it for the good of the people who live there. Most recently, Amerca’s army made an appearance in the middle east to save them from tyrant dictators and ensure our oil continued to flow freely to our cars.
America’s vitality, great health and fabulous wealth is proof that America is truly God’s country. We ensure that we remain heaven’s representative on Earth by maintaining our nation’s Chrsitian tradition and Godly heritage.
Over 97% of America’s people are Christians, with 1% reporting as a false religion (atheisms, Wickedisms, Javas, Buddhas, and Islams) and the other 1% reporting as homosexual. All the weather wrath America gets is from that rebel 2%, so just imagine how much suffering all the Godless nations must endure. America’s Christians keep the nation relatively safe and wrath free.