• Notorious Archgay Daniel Tosh Makes Rape Jokes, Is Daniel Tosh Gay?

    July 11, 2012 1:32 pm 14 comments

    The two presiding bishops of youthful homosexuality, Daniel Tosh and his sharebear, Paris Hilton, cuddle under pink cashmere sheets and predictably read rape jokes and watch AFV internet clips of dogs mounting children on their green candy apple Apple notebook. All the fanfare will lead to another night of coital calamity between these two clergyman of unholy cock worship, and only fuel their desire to smugly sodomize the world with their unrelenting snark.

    Is Daniel Tosh gay? Such a question is now pretty much irrelevant. As if inventing a drink named a Toshtini (two parts Fiji water, one part intoxicated man splurge) or shooting 2 am Cinemax porn with his fecal cavern adventure buddy Paris Hilton wasn’t proof enough, last night Tosh made the ultimate revelation of his inability to can his snark by making a rape joke.

    Many people questioned if Daniel Tosh was gay or lesbian after this shocking scene where he let Rachel Maddow sindock him from behind. The Christian Coalition correctly ruled, 5-3, that any sort of ‘cross the endzone of the rectal goaline’ results in a gay scoring act, no matter whose on the offensive push.

    During a bit of ‘stand-up’ comedy, Daniel Tosh showed his usual disgust and hatred toward heterosexual women. As much as gays love children and hiding themselves as the ‘ice creamed man’ or the male hospital nurse to sneak in illegal touches, these destitute prostate deriere milkmen have a raging hatred for a woman’s pink pleasures maker, milksacks and anything with estrogen. Some very hurt women first reported how they were verbally sodomized by Daniel Tosh on their Tumblr named BreakfastCookie.  They had been lured into the Mecca of Homosexuality (West Hollywood) with some magical ‘free tickets’ they one from Tosh’s tv show, Tosh.0.

    As soon as they were seated, Tosh allegedly had some of his guards stand in front of the comedy club’s doors and then said, ‘now the fun begins’.

    The women quickly realized that they were the only females in the audience.  They were scared but smartly realized there is no better way to provoke a gay’s anger then interrupting his punchline to a joke.

    Immediately, Daniel Tosh said something to the effect of, “rape is funny, rape is hilarious, rape jokes are always funny”.

    Shocked, the poor female victim lashed out, ‘rape is never funny’.

    At this point Daniel Tosh revealed a classic gay quality that many others miss out on:  as long as a person has a butt, they want to jab it.  Many women are lured into the false belief that gays only want to molest married men, animals and even children.  But there is nothing more thrilling to a gay than catching a woman offguard and giving her a little backside Sn2 mechanism surprise.

    The woman claims that after she lashed out in anger, Tosh responded, “Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now.  Like right now?  Watch if a bunch of guys just raped her…”

    At this point, the women tweeted for help and were able to escape the gay guards at the door, who had become distracted with the ‘drab’ wall decor of the comedy venue.  The woman continues, “I should probably add that having to basically flee while Tosh was enthusing about how hilarious it would be if I was gang-raped in that small, claustrophobic room was pretty viscerally terrifying…”

    Tosh apologized by saying that his next show would feature ‘Clowns’.

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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