Notorious Archgay Daniel Tosh Makes Rape Jokes, Is Daniel Tosh Gay?

Abe
• ChristWire
July 11, 2012 1:32 pm14 comments

The two presiding bishops of youthful homosexuality, Daniel Tosh and his sharebear, Paris Hilton, cuddle under pink cashmere sheets and predictably read rape jokes and watch AFV internet clips of dogs mounting children on their green candy apple Apple notebook. All the fanfare will lead to another night of coital calamity between these two clergyman of unholy cock worship, and only fuel their desire to smugly sodomize the world with their unrelenting snark.

Is Daniel Tosh gay? Such a question is now pretty much irrelevant. As if inventing a drink named a Toshtini (two parts Fiji water, one part intoxicated man splurge) or shooting 2 am Cinemax porn with his fecal cavern adventure buddy Paris Hilton wasn’t proof enough, last night Tosh made the ultimate revelation of his inability to can his snark by making a rape joke.

Many people questioned if Daniel Tosh was gay or lesbian after this shocking scene where he let Rachel Maddow sindock him from behind. The Christian Coalition correctly ruled, 5-3, that any sort of ‘cross the endzone of the rectal goaline’ results in a gay scoring act, no matter whose on the offensive push.

During a bit of ‘stand-up’ comedy, Daniel Tosh showed his usual disgust and hatred toward heterosexual women. As much as gays love children and hiding themselves as the ‘ice creamed man’ or the male hospital nurse to sneak in illegal touches, these destitute prostate deriere milkmen have a raging hatred for a woman’s pink pleasures maker, milksacks and anything with estrogen. Some very hurt women first reported how they were verbally sodomized by Daniel Tosh on their Tumblr named BreakfastCookie.  They had been lured into the Mecca of Homosexuality (West Hollywood) with some magical ‘free tickets’ they one from Tosh’s tv show, Tosh.0.

As soon as they were seated, Tosh allegedly had some of his guards stand in front of the comedy club’s doors and then said, ‘now the fun begins’.

The women quickly realized that they were the only females in the audience.  They were scared but smartly realized there is no better way to provoke a gay’s anger then interrupting his punchline to a joke.

Immediately, Daniel Tosh said something to the effect of, “rape is funny, rape is hilarious, rape jokes are always funny”.

Shocked, the poor female victim lashed out, ‘rape is never funny’.

At this point Daniel Tosh revealed a classic gay quality that many others miss out on:  as long as a person has a butt, they want to jab it.  Many women are lured into the false belief that gays only want to molest married men, animals and even children.  But there is nothing more thrilling to a gay than catching a woman offguard and giving her a little backside Sn2 mechanism surprise.

The woman claims that after she lashed out in anger, Tosh responded, “Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now.  Like right now?  Watch if a bunch of guys just raped her…”

At this point, the women tweeted for help and were able to escape the gay guards at the door, who had become distracted with the ‘drab’ wall decor of the comedy venue.  The woman continues, “I should probably add that having to basically flee while Tosh was enthusing about how hilarious it would be if I was gang-raped in that small, claustrophobic room was pretty viscerally terrifying…”

Tosh apologized by saying that his next show would feature ‘Clowns’.

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14 Comments

  • So in TV is real that must mean your religion is fake, and god is a black women.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  • Jack Heisenberg Jack Heisenberg

    This needs to open the eyes of nonbelievers! REPENT

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3

  • Oh. My. God. (yes, I took the lord’s name in vain)

    If you don’t like it don’t f*cking watch it. I’m fairly certain that Tosh is not gay, but I am certain that he is a stand up comedian. I’m also certain that whoever wrote this article is a retard.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

  • The girl was begging for it.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

  • Reagan.Is.Jesus Reagan.Is.Jesus

    That woman should not have even been present at Mr. Tosh’s comedy event. She should have been at home taking care of her kids, cooking, and cleaning!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 3

  • Why you watching gay porn anyways abe you dont get much on your own now a day?

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  • “Many people questioned if Daniel Tosh was gay or lesbian after this”

    Or lesbian? hahahhahahahhaahah xD

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  • TheBlackVeilBride

    Lol the Toshtini is half Fiji water, half tap water. I remember that episode XD

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  • GeminiStarforce324 GeminiStarforce324

    Although I think Tosh went a little too far on the rape joke, he did come out with a public apology, which I’m sure he truly meant it, if I were a comedian being jumpled on by an audience member in the middle of my bit, I would have said anything to get them to hush up. Although I think Tosh took that to the extreme. Also, I doubt Tosh is gay, he just wants to make it seem that way because he knows its a popular topic and it gets more views for his show.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  • Barnald Mertog

    JESUS SAVES!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

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