• Reddit /r/trees, Addictive Marijuana Smoking Causes Michael Phelps 4th Place in Olympics

    July 29, 2012 11:23 am 101 comments
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  • News of the World first broke the tragic story of former US Olympian star Michael Phelps becoming addicted to marijuana immediately after his historic medal run in Beijing, 2008.  Since that time Phelps’ ‘boofer’ lifestyle and addiction to browsing lude organic images on Reddit’s hippie-values centric /r/trees as H20-420LUVR has caused a predicatable downfall into a cheeto’s eating, out-of-shape failure that typifies the life of all ‘stoners’.

    Marijuana is a dangerous drug that destroys the human body and soul.  Studies have long revealed how the drug rots away the muscles of a marijuana addict’s body, to the point they become catatonic recluses who can hardly walk after a year’s worth of substance abuse.

    It was unclear if Michael Phelps’ downfall was precipitated by the marijuana gateway drugs heroine or cracked cocaine hashish, or if some corrupt influences sought to destroy his career by getting him straight addicted on the rough substance.  What is for sure, the drug has had a predictable effect on Phelps and now he cannot win an Olympic race.

    Shocked and exhausted, Michael Phelps started doing the classic ‘boofer’s cough’ halfway though his 400 meter heat, never being able to recover.  Marijuana is so harsh it eats away the delicate alveoli of the lungs, causing the classic cough that most marijuana smokers suffer.  Phelps finished in a shameful fourth place in his race, after a Christian American, Brazilian and Japanese swimmer.

    Coach Bob Bowman was humiliated and emabarassed about Phelps.  “”Ultimately, it was a fitness issue,” Bob Bowman said.  He went on to say, “He was…horrible. It was an accurate assessment.”

    And perhaps most telling, Coach Bowman reveals the one truth that all addicted stoners hold in common:  “He didn’t try that hard, I didn’t think.”

    The Michael Phelps DietMany people were shocked to learn that Michael Phelps consumes a whopping 12000 calories per day. But in late 2008, Michael Phelps added a regimine of ’20 LSD-Afghan spliffs, 6 Big Buds of Skunk #1, 35 puffed units liquid Ice and 30 rolled dimesacks’ to his daily diet. The results of all this marijuana addiction has caused the Michael Phelps Olympics 2012 failure.

    The Reddit /r/trees connection

    Reddit /r/trees is a secrect underground site where the world’s most notorious crack cocaine dealers and Columbian drug ex-pat drug cartels meet to trade growing tips, trading routes and connect with their black market customers.

    The site is notorious for its numerous celebrity members, including ‘MrBaggyPuffs’, the name rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg joined under until earlier in 2012, when the country of Norway found Snoop was using the site to sell ‘The Chronic’ to youths in their country and subsequently banned him from giving any more concerts there.

    Phelps is among of the newest celebrity recruits, hiding himself under the username ‘H20luvs420’.  The name is likely a double entendre, the H20 harkening to his Olympic water stardom as well as his love for ‘water bongs’, illegal hooka type smoking devices that make marijuana nearly 1,ooo times more potent.

    Reddet /r/trees ents (Ear Nose and Throat Doctors) pose outside their hedge shop, where they grow dangerous marijuana shrubbery and prescribe it in massive quantities to people who order through Reddit’s inbox karma system.

    Looking onto the Reddit community, we can see how athletes can be tricked into thinking marijuana is a safe and legal substance.  Reddit trees proudly proclaims it is the ‘home of ents’.  Ents, or Ear Nose and Throat Doctors, or otolaryngologists.  These doctors are likely the bagmen of the trees community, coming up with ways to dilate the nose and throats of users so they imbibe more of the illegally puff nectar.

    With Phelp’s naturally massive neck and nose, it’s no wonder he’s smoked so much marijuana that he’s now an Olympic disgrace.

    Phelps has 14 more races to go and it’s expected that as the Olympics go on, he’ll get worse and worse.  He’s had to quit marijuana cold-turkey to compete this week and withdrawal symptoms from marijuana are 20 times more severe than that of heroine:  hallucinations, lucid dreaming, residual day tripping and body craps.  At any rate, Phelps will likely continue to do worse and worse.

    This should be a chilling story for all people.  Marijuana can and will destroy your life.  If it can destroy the abilities of an Olympian, just imagine what it can do to you.


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    About The Author
    Amber Vos Savant Amber Vos Savant is an award winning conservative journalist and currently serves as Young Republican coordinator for Romney 2012 in Boston.

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