• Rogue Pack of Cats Cause Ebola Outbreak, Thousands Flee Olympic Village

    July 31, 2012 12:38 pm 19 comments

    London, England - A pack of demented cats is causing a reign of fear and panic to spread through Olympic village in London.  Only three days into the Olympic Games, tragedy has broken out after a pack of cats terrorized groups of innocent people with deft hunting skills, stalking and bites that are causing an Ebola outbreak throughout the region.

    Health officials estimate that after a biting spree that started approximately 11 p.m. last night, over 6,485 people are now hospitalized and that number is only expected to grow.  It’s unknown how many people are still suffering in the streets.

    Ebola is characterized by almost zombie like behavior, causing humans to break out in violent sweats and crippling abdominal pain from hunger pains only satiated by eating the flesh of other humans.

    Officials assume that the 5 cat suspects have an advanced form of rabies, giving them almost supernatural speed and perhaps the jungle strength of ten wildly frustrated tigers.  If you are in London and see the cats above, don’t engage them.  Flee for shelter and call the cops, tell them to bring riot gear and nothing short of small, automatic arms.

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    Adam Nelson

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