Six-Foot Lizard on the Loose, Dragonforce Atheist Demontologists Are to Blame
Eyes ablaze with the spirit of Satan himself, a six-foot tall lizard is wrecking havoc in the Colorado countryside. Summoned by a musical band of atheist scientists calling themselves The Dragonforce, the lizard to date has only made the Colorado wildfires worse and has viciously consumed forests, cattle and even humans who dare stand in its demonic path.
As wildfires continue to rage in Colorado, a group of Satanic demontologists have naturally been drawn to the fires and the flames to perform evil hell-ambiance ceremonies. One weird cult is apparently calling itself the Children of Dragonforce and within Colorado, they hosted a demon summoning ritual where they prove themselves through the “Fires and the Flames”. This entire ritual was done with a mutant six-foot lizard who allegedly has the spirit of Ba’al coursing within his blood after the ceremony.
Atheist scientists hacked the human genome in 2010 and found the bit of Satan the devil sowed into Eve’s womb when he had of her ‘fruit’ in the Garden of Eden. When a lizard chimera is created of this DNA, the lizard gains considerable intelligence, the ability to grow wins and to spit fire.
The people of Colorado are in grave danger. Ba’al is Hell’s evil, dark version of the archangel Michael and he’s inhabitating the six-foot lizard that’s on the loose.
What’s even worse is that the species of lizard on the loose is a creature relatively unknown to the general public, as the government does not want to incite public panic.
Called Cannabis incendia (Latin scientific nomenclature for Death (cannabis) Fire (incendia)), the six-foot-tall lizard is estimated to be an adolescent form of this new genetically engineered species. But unlike its already dangerous broodmates, this specific lizard is actually infested with a demonic soul of hell.
From what sources tell us, Cannabis incendia can grow up to twenty feet tall and gain the ability to walk upright. The animal is thought to be recluse, though is known to be harbored and kept exclusively by demontologists for the Satanic rituals they perform in their dark chambers.
One farmer named Billy Dale Joel, just outside Breckenridge, Colorado, reports:
“It all happens so fast. You are just inside, eating supper and praying that all will be will through the night. Then chaos! Chicken clucking like heck, pig squealing with horror. By the time I made it outside, it smelled like bacon, eggs and steaks. All my lifestock was seared and half eaten. I saw a great, giant green lizard running off and I could have sworn I hit it with my rifle but it didn’t budge. I heard a very faint, deep laugh. I think I heard the devil in it.”
And the devil is exactly what Mr. Dale heard. In the following song, which already has 50 million views on YouTube, we see some of these Children of Dragonforce performing the very song used to summon Ba’al to this giant lizard chimera.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MUSIC IS A DEMONTOLOGY RITUAL SONG CALLED THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES. THE SONG IS PERFORMED BY DRAGONFORCE AND IS SO CATCHY, RIFF-HEAVY AND WELL-TUNED THAT IT WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR BRAIN. DEMAND ALL WIFE/CHILDREN LEAVE THE ROOM BEFORE LISTENING.
If anyone comes across or can send a message to the atheist Dragonforce band that summoned Ba’al to infest the lizard, authorities ask you to tell them to undo the ceremony because this creature is deadly and may be impervious to small arms fire. If you see the lizard, run away with fear and great panic.
Cannabis incendia hatchling. The lizard currently on the loose in Colorado will have a similar body type to this hatchling created by atheists. Farmer Billy D. Joel reports the lizard did not appear to have wings, but a very large body that alternated between walking on all fours to hind legs. It can breathe fire and managed to destroy an entire lifestock farm in under give minutes.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Mike Watson
Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook
3:27 am
Are you that fucking retarded? The first picture is Godzilla, a fictional monster in many movies. 2nd picture is photoshopped dragon and the 3rd is just a lizard. People would need an IQ of 10 to believe this article.
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4:25 am
You’re right, only a person with a IQ of 10 would believe this article.
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3:45 pm
Are you that fucking retarded?
did you really need to ask?
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5:29 pm
I did need to because Cultwire is that stupid.
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7:45 am
First Picture is a still from the movie Godzilla
second is So photoshoped with cigarette smoke
The site the last two pictures came from is
WEIRD AND FASCINATING CREATURES
google it and read the original NON FICTION STORY
“Pictures are of flying” lizard from Indonesia
Another total crap piece of lieing Shit styled non journalism
Why did you not use pictures of a komodo Dragon they are real and grow to up to ten foot long Much better for photoshop pictures
Cannabis incendia JOKE LATIN NAME
If these so Called Creatures were on the loose in America
ALL OF REDNECK AMERICA WOULD BE LOADING GUNS AND HUNTING THEM it would be on local tv Network tv world tv and all over the internet.
“”"OH and don’t give us the Bullshit that the American Government is Censoring it because if that was TRUE you could not have published this piece of utter crap shit “”"
“Lock and load its asshole ripping time”
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8:12 am
Really? Godzilla? REALLY? Wow the stupidity amazes me.
For another thing why would atheist summon a satanic lizard? We don’t beleive in Satan, dipshits.
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8:21 am
Godzilla!! lol
“Called Cannabis incendia (Latin scientific nomenclature for Death (cannabis) Fire (incendia))”
Cannabis does not mean “death” in latin. And it’s incendio for fire, but it’s also not latin.
““It all happens so fast. You are just inside, eating supper and praying that all will be will through the night. Then chaos! Chicken clucking like heck, pig squealing with horror. By the time I made it outside, it smelled like bacon, eggs and steaks. All my lifestock was seared and half eaten. I saw a great, giant green lizard running off and I could have sworn I hit it with my rifle but it didn’t budge. I heard a very faint, deep laugh. I think I heard the devil in it.””
lol… cool story… Perhaps you should have finish it with “It did prepare me a nice meal!”
“If anyone comes across or can send a message to the atheist Dragonforce band that summoned Ba’al to infest the lizard, authorities ask you to tell them to undo the ceremony because this creature is deadly and may be impervious to small arms fire. If you see the lizard, run away with fear and great panic.”
They didn’t summon anything. And they are great. I saw them live. ^^
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12:29 pm
Look, Mikey, it’s best if you actually pass elementary school BEFORE trying to talk like you know what you’re saying, alright?
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6:14 pm
You guys are the biggest collection of morons on the internet.
Praise!
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7:54 pm
Yes, because you have room to talk.
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8:15 pm
Yet all of us put together are not “moronic” enough to believe this……”story”, Rookie.
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8:29 am
Good you realised that christwire journalists are “the biggest collection of morons on the internet.”
At least once i can agree with you.
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8:49 am
And they offer me a chance to publish here
(See other posts for that)
what do you think of that ( Snigger )
Must be the barbed homophobic racist taunts i Slam at them Fighting their ” Fire with LIKE FIRE ”
“”Claire they might have Removed your posts but there are so many references to you on this site they would have to wipe the Site completely and Start again”" to remove your presence
Poor young Moron wont be able to refer to you as his wife anymore because now more than ever it will show him as the total asswipe he is
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9:36 pm
Is it wrong that I really, really wish this was real? XD
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3:02 am
…. really ? there is dragon … NOT seriously we are not stupid enough and it’s genetically Impossible to create a dragon ( since it’s doesn’t exist your beloved God didn’t created them)
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4:06 am
There are dragons all through the bible.
http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/index.php?search=dragon&version1=9&searchtype=all&startnumber=1
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4:12 am
And as a child Jesus was himself a dragon tamer, according to the Infancy Gospel of Matthew:
CHAP. 18.–And having come to a certain cave, and wishing to rest in it, the blessed [8] Mary dismounted from her beast, and sat down with the child Jesus in her bosom. And there were with Joseph three boys, and with Mary a girl, going on the journey along with them. And, lo, suddenly there came forth from the cave many dragons; and when the children saw them, they cried out in great terror. Then Jesus went down from the bosom of His mother, and stood on His feet before the dragons; and they adored Jesus, and thereafter retired. Then was fulfilled that which was said by David the prophet, saying: Praise the Lord from the earth, ye dragons; ye dragons, and all ye deeps [9] And the young child Jesus, walking before them, commanded them to hurt no man. But Mary and Joseph were very much afraid lest the child should be hurt by the dragons. And Jesus said to them: Do not be afraid, and do not consider me to be a little child; for I am and always have been perfect; and all the beasts of the forest must needs be tame before me.
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6:04 am
So now there are dragon hmm before this site said they are evil made up story by the gay’s ….hmm made up storys wonder what that make that bible.
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6:19 am
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/2019866_4135.jpg
Oh look at you don’t you just like hanging with the boy’s.
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7:04 am
Is that a slim Erich Sean 2nd from left in picture
Boy oh boy “was he slim then ”
Just goes to show how fattening swallowing sperm is and how it ruins the figure
word of Advice Erich Sean
“” SPIT, DON’T SWALLOW “”
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3:40 pm
It sure is.
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4:47 pm
And yet you didn’t saw one right?
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3:18 am
The black dragon is actually a normal lizard photoshopped to look like Toothless from the (FICTIONAL…Thought I needed to point this out for the Christwire crew) movie “How to Train Your Dragon”
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4:55 am
The Christwire crew all need to be taught
How to wipe their ass
How toBreathe (this could be skipped for the sake of mankind)
how to do Journalism because “journalism on this Site is in dire shape”.
How to Reply to Questions
and again
How to Reply to Questions without resorting to racist sexist homophobic slander
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7:15 am
“How to Reply to Questions…”
I’d be happy with this part. Unfortunately, I have a feeling THIS is what will continue:
“How to Reply to Questions without resorting to racist sexist homophobic slander”
I’m not holding out for this one. This site’s members will never change. (Well, other than the subject when cornered.)
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3:55 pm
This article is shocking!
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6:21 pm
Just like your face oo that right i pulled a susan on you.
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12:36 am
indeed, it really is. if find it amazing that i am still losing iq points from reading these articles. i thought that reading the one about how the colorado fires were caused by gays using non-existent cookies to trick a non-existent force into starting the fires had quite wiped out my last few remaining brain cells.
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12:41 am
wow. i actually rather like dragonforce. especially their song, heart of the dragon. the song has actually nothing to do with dragons.
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9:44 pm
These people are idiots dragonforce is awesome.They’re not satanic and that picture of a “dragon” was gozilla from a MOVIE! All of the other pictures were of a species of a lizard. You’ve no right to insult the innocent. where do they get these idiots today. go burn in hell.
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