The homogay agenda knows no bounds in their unrepentant appetite for corrupting the innocent. At every turn, they are flailing about and trying to find new ways to sneak into the firm backsides of your husbands and your sons. And don’t let your guard down, because they like the backsides of women too.
But what gays love even more than anything is finding ways to pervert nature by making it ‘Gay Cute’. Normal cute is what it sounds like: a baby can be cute because it has blonde hair, two ocean blue eyes, a symmetrical face and a nice smile. To gays, a cute baby boy may have pink hair styled by Wen hair gel, toned baby gym muscles outfitted by outrageous diaper thongs and stylish onesies. Don’t think it’s so ‘out there’ or impossible, because if anything, gays are very, very fashion conscious.
Gays also have a deep understanding of psychology. Why this is true remains a mystery unto us, but gays can win you over quite easily. Who doesn’t like the humor Ellen DeGeneres or fantasize about their wife going a round or two with her? Every man dreams of such things. What women don’t fawn over the boyishly sneaky Greek smile of John Stamos, wishing he’d make sinful yogurt time with her husband in the dead of night while she peaked from behind a door? Gays are duplicitous like that and so it should be no surprise that a gay group calling itself ASPCGAY (a flamboyant perversion of ASPCA) has funded research that allows pet owners to have their dogs ‘converted’ into drag queens. Here is the proof:
Our sources indicate that this dog is named Maymo, which is the Cambodian word for ‘peanut butter aficianado’. In the gay culture, drag queens have to pick nicknames for themselves and this dog’s drag name is ‘Miss Karen Affection’. As the European EDM beats play in the background, look deep into the dog’s eyes and you’ll quickly realize a confused soul. The dog doesn’t know right from wrong, up from down.
Maymo is a well-known celebrity on the drag dog circuit. Yes, the gays have created ‘celebrity circles’ for their eccentric pets. It’s no secret that Maymo is known for being sassy and outrageous. Our interns have found several reports of this brainwashed canine being caught sniffing the backside of other male dogs and performing Bobby Brown New Edition pelvic thrusts as fast as he could, all in front of women and children. It was wearing the ping wig and had the music going in the background! In videos we dare not show, kids were seen asking their parents, ‘Is this normal?’ The parents just chuckled and laughed, ‘It’s normal AND cute.’
Whoever this ASPCGAY group is, they are powerful and scary. We’re told they are creating a bevy of riling pet videos that feature dogs and cats, which addicts kids faster than cotton candy sweet corn a diabetic. They’ve somehow mastered a way of brainwashing dogs with gay power anthems and are using them to make all these sassy, snarky videos that people are sharing on their Facebook and inner-office emails. The more people that find things like this cute and shareable, the faster the gay agenda and no telling what else will happen in this society.
By video’s end, you can see the poor puppy is exhausted in his heart. His soul is crying out. But the gay spirit that’s now in him, making him feel comfortable in all that pink drag, is a party animal and will keep him running strong in the heats of sin.