Atheists Commision Painting of Jesus Playing Beer Pong with Apostles
Alright, atheists, hardy-har-har. You think it is funny to commission images like this and place them in your Satanic synogogues or ‘laboratories’ as you call them. Sure, if Jesus played ping-pong he would have the perfect swan-necked follow-through that your artist Frank Miller has drawn here. All the apostles would get drunk on the best beer, because Jesus made it himself from water.
But this just flat out didn’t happen at the last supper. You cannot have it both ways. You cannot have this image of Jesus partying it up when it’s not a fact of the Bible. It’s pretty clear that the meal was serious and significant, not some final get-sloshed shin-dig where Jesus throws a ping-pong (mind you not even invented 2012 years ago) ball along a perfect arc trajectory, all while Mary Magdalene is acting all like a cat in heat like Frank Miller thinks all women act.
This is just over the line, atheists. This would be like us commissioning a photograph of your lord Richard Dawkins ascending to heaven when he dies. It’s just not going to happen. If you want to be smarmy, at least keep it factual, atheists. Christians 1: Atheists 0.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Tiernan Kincaid
10:18 pm
Of course this didn’t happen…It’s just a joke
(on a side note, how do you log into the site now?!)
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10:31 pm
“Of course this didn’t happen…It’s just a joke”
Yeah. Someone needs to learn the difference between real and “photo-shopped”.
You can log in through the old link, BUT…you can’t log OUT. (At least nowhere I can find.)
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10:43 pm
Ya i didn’t think this site could get worst…but they keep finding a way.
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10:48 pm
“Someone needs to learn the difference between real and “photo-shopped”.”
Who cares where they printed the photo. It’s irrelevant. Just like the majority of your spiteful posts.
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10:59 pm
“It’s irrelevant.”
Of course it’s relevant, Rookie. The whole premise of this…..”story” is based on that picture. Who would “commission” someone to photo-shop a painting? That must have cost all of $10. Atheists are apparently very cheap, by your standards.
“Just like the majority of your spiteful posts.”
Not spiteful, Rookie. Factual.
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11:23 pm
Atheists do tend to be poorer than people of faith.
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11:39 pm
Not true. They tend to be much wealthier. They don’t have anywhere to tithe, so that’s “cash in pocket”.
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12:13 am
But what about their souls? There is a good Christian singer named Jack Johnson who wrote about you atheists and your lack of perspective on what’s important. Close your eyes and listen to the gospel truth:
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12:20 am
Are you talking about monetarily poor or “soul” poor, Doc? Make up your mind.
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12:22 am
Oh yeah? What percentage of atheists are as rich as Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland, Billy Graham and Creflo Dollar?
It’s called the “Prosperity Gospel” for a reason, you know!
Televangelists: 1
Atheists: 0
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12:34 am
“What percentage of atheists are as rich as Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland, Billy Graham and Creflo Dollar?”
Televangelists? You throw out televangelists to try to prove your point, Gelding? Some of them have been proven to be the biggest crooks. They prey on the Religious because they “talk a good talk”. They cry and beg until the pockets are empty.
“It’s called the “Prosperity Gospel” for a reason…”
Yes, apparently.
Oh and rich “atheists”? Bill Gates, George Soros, Warren Buffett, Larry Flynt Need any more, Gelding?
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12:38 am
Why do you call Brother Exbrony “gelding?”
It’s very disrespectful.
You maniac.
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12:42 am
“It’s very disrespectful.”
Yes it is, Mr. Pen. “Quid pro quo”
“You maniac.”
That’s Burger Flipper to you.
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12:51 am
Thanks for your concern Cassidy, but I feel neither the slightest offence nor the slightest irritation from Mainiac’s cruel words. His insults are merely his admission of defeat.
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12:57 am
“His insults are merely his admission of defeat.”
Twist, twist, twist, Gelding. I’m not admitting defeat.
“A gelding is a castrated horse or other equine such as a donkey or a mule. Castration, and the elimination of hormonally driven behavior associated with a stallion, allows a male horse to be calmer and better-behaved, making the animal quieter, gentler and potentially more suitable as an everyday working animal.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelding
I’m admitting YOURS.
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1:04 am
Wishing doesn’t make it so.
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1:22 am
“His insults are merely his admission of defeat.”
“Wishing doesn’t make it so.”
You’re right, Gelding. It doesn’t, does it?
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1:35 am
That’s what I just said.
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7:57 am
Bill Gates, Checkmate faggot.
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3:07 am
Bill Gates. Steve Jobs. Oprah Winfrey.
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9:22 pm
Actually, sup, Oprah is a Christian.
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1:59 am
Brother Exbrony has Jesus on his side. Therefore, he will never be defeated.
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2:09 am
Hah! It doesn’t take divine intervention to run a ring or two around old Orange Blossom here!
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6:49 am
Oooo…that makes at least 5 nicknames I have. Congrats to you and the Pig, Gelding. Soon no one will know who you’re talking to.
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8:04 am
It’s rarely clear who you’re talking to, OB, much less what you’re saying.
And I might add that you’re not terribly good at making up nicknames.
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8:12 am
The nicknames that Erich and I come up with for you come from a place of humour and love of language, whereas yours come from a place of ugly hatred. I mean, “Pig”? Really?
I don’t understand why you are so hostile to Erich. He is one of the most clever, funny and charming commenters on this site.
I think that if you got to know Erich a bit better you would like him a lot more.
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6:39 am
“…whereas yours come from a place of ugly hatred.”
Not true. His are deserved.
“I mean, “Pig”? Really?”
Yup. Like I said, deserved.
“I don’t understand why you are so hostile to Erich. He is one of the most clever, funny and charming commenters on this site.”
He is a disgusting little “Pig”. Charming? So are most serial killers. Funny? Oh yes. His version of….”Christwire comedy” is spot on. Clever? Not so much. Perhaps by your standards.
“I think that if you got to know Erich a bit better you would like him a lot more.”
Somehow I doubt that. I tend to not associate with “pigs”, human or otherwise. I would invite him to a “pig” roast though.
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11:03 am
So when are you going to get back on track and admit that you’re a dipshit who talks out of his ass all the time?
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6:39 pm
Hi LN. I haven’t seen you around much the past few days. I guess your new sarcasm-sleuthing assignment must be keeping you busy.
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8:03 am
Maybe when you’ve got sarcasm figured out you can have a go at irony. It’s a bit trickier, but I like to think you’ll be capable of understanding it one of these days.
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7:25 am
“…you can have a go at irony.”
Should be easy enough, L.N. Just follow the bouncing Gelding. You’ll find plenty of “irony” to study.
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10:27 pm
If you look at the arc closely, you can see the ball looks like it will overshoot. It proves Christ is going to perform a miracle to get that ball in the cup. Without realizing it, the atheists are proving HIS power.
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10:34 pm
“Without realizing it, the atheists are proving HIS power.”
Do you realize what you’re proving, Doc?
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10:37 pm
The power of God. On site stuff, can we make the letters bigger? I’m having trouble reading Orobourous’ atheist diatribe.
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10:47 pm
“The power of God.”
You just keep telling yourself that, Doc.
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11:23 pm
Have you tried Christ in your life?
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11:36 pm
“Have you tried Christ in your life?”
Years ago, Doc. Years ago.
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11:24 pm
I’m not even atheist…Why do you guys assume I am?
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11:29 pm
Oh, Ouro, we know.
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10:08 pm
@Erich: And what’s that supposed to mean?
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12:09 am
You disagree with everyone. How else could it be?
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12:17 am
So since I disagree with everything you guys say…I’m suddenly labeled an Atheist? Nice logic there…
For your information, I’m not Atheist…Try to remember that
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12:24 am
“… I’m not Atheist…”
Me either, O.
“So since I disagree with everything you guys say…I’m suddenly labeled an Atheist?”
Apparently so. It’s the “Christwire way”.
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12:29 am
You guys want no God. No = a Theist = God. You are being no God loving hypocrites by trying to say you’re Christians and coming to heaven with everyone who agrees with us.
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12:32 am
I never claimed to be Christian either…Geez, stop assuming things when you don’t know what you’re talking about…There are more options than Atheist and Chirstian…
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12:44 am
Which Ouroboros is this?
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3:30 am
To answer your question, Erich:
It’s me the real and only Ouroboros my friend stopped using my account awhile back…You don’t ha e to worry about him coming back
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12:39 am
“You are being no God loving hypocrites by trying to say you’re Christians and coming to heaven with everyone who agrees with us.”
Sooo, O. was right?
“So since I disagree with everything you guys say…I’m suddenly labeled an Atheist?”
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11:04 am
Could be common sense. There are several Christians that have popped up and told you bastards just how awful and wrong you are, Adam the Pig.
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10:49 pm
To be faithfactual, they’re probably playing wine pong.
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12:32 am
Well pointed out, Erich. Bread and beer is the sacrament of the heathen dying-and-rising god Osiris, whose silly cult provided no source mythology for Christianity, even though it predated Christianity, shared many obvious similarities with Christianity and was right next door.
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12:45 am
“Bread and beer is the sacrament of the heathen dying-and-rising god Osiris…”
Yes and the Rookie and Mr. Weisz have chosen “whiskey” as their sacrament. It’s hard telling what they use as the “body” in this case. (I’m almost afraid to ask.)
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12:48 am
Amen, ex. Anyone who could draw some sort of correlation between the laughable Osiris cult and the Truth that is Jesus Christ is truly a moron of the highest order!
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12:54 am
The Gelding said:
“… even though it predated Christianity, shared many obvious similarities with Christianity and was right next door.”
You were saying, Rookie? His words, not mine. Moron?
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12:56 am
Yes, we’re both making fun of the morons. Stop being so slow, Fiddle. Do you have the Downs?
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12:59 am
“Do you have the Downs?”
There you go, Gelding. Anything to say to this comment?
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1:05 am
Waaah! Waah! Crying to exbrony won’t save you. Where’s your mother and that soap you promised she’d administer orally?
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1:10 am
“Crying to exbrony won’t save you.”
I don’t expect to be saved, Rookie. I expect the Gelding to give YOU the same treatment about that comment that he would give any “non-Christwire” member.
You must be proud of your “your mamma” jokes, Rookie. Just remember; “what goes around, comes around”, PIG. You know, I think you’ve outgrown the “rookie”. Think I’ll just call you what you are, Pig.
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1:12 am
I prefer “MILF hunter”. Or, in your case, “GILF hunter”.
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6:47 am
Whatever you prefer doesn’t matter. You’ve still earned the appropriate name “Pig”, Pig.
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1:01 am
“Yes, we’re both making fun of the morons.”
You may have been, Rookie. The Gelding was stating “facts”. How do you see that as “making fun”?
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1:07 am
A sacrament of ritual cannibalism that uses beer as “blood” is just silly.
Of course we’re making fun of those silly old Osiris cultists. No wonder their stupid religion died out.
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1:14 am
“A sacrament of ritual cannibalism that uses beer as “blood” is just silly.”
Oh okay. I didn’t realize that one that used wine as “blood” was different. My bad, Gelding.
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1:00 am
Erich, I know, right? Preposterous! Same goes for the cults of Dionysus and all those other mystery religions that seem so superficially similar to Christianity.
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1:06 am
“…superficially similar…”
They’ve gone from being “obviously” similar to just “superficially” similar?
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1:08 am
No, they’ve always been both. The terms are not mutually exclusive, you know.
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1:10 am
Do please get a handle on the English language.
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1:17 am
Ah, there’s the English professor we all know……and hate. As usual, you resort to grammar, Gelding. What’s the matter? Don’t like being the “moron” the Pig (inadvertently) was referring to? Par for the course.
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1:34 am
Not being an “English professor”. You were trying to tell me that I had contradicted myself when I clearly hadn’t.
The words “obviously” and “superficially” are not mutually exclusive. If you had a handle on the English language you would know that.
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11:09 am
You contradict yourself all the damn time. Cultwire bastard butchers a sentence? You pay no mind. Cultwire fucker insults women and calls them inferior? You laugh alongside them. But the moment someone else makes a typo or says the word bitch? You’re on their ass in seconds.
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6:41 pm
Are you familiar with the expression Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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6:50 am
“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”
Translation: “Who watches the watchmen?”
So, you feel it’s your job to “watch the watchmen”? Then why don’t you? Instead of singling out “non-”members, you should be “watching” YOUR lot. After all, you people seem to feel you’re the “watchmen” of the World.
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7:30 am
No surprise, Orange Blossom, that you’ve got it back to front again.
The overwhelming majority of the comments posted on this site are from gormless, witless naysayers such as yourself, LN and your racist friend PeePee.
When August did that breakdown a while back, LN was at something like 40 per cent of total comments — and that was before his equally obsessed girlfriend left the site.
You people are the howling jet engine of white noise around here. I have made it my task to hold you to account. At least so far as I can be bothered. Unlike most of you, I also have other things going on.
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12:29 pm
“No surprise, Orange Blossom, that you’ve got it back to front again.”
Really, Gelding? L.N. called you out on your continuous “correcting” of non-members. You gave him nothing but another question.
“Are you familiar with the expression Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”
Translating out to “Who watches the watchmen?” My comment fit into the conversation. Hell, you even proved it with this:
“I have made it my task to hold you to account. At least so far as I can be bothered.”
But please, don’t feel that you have to “bother”. We won’t mind if you don’t, Professor Gelding.
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12:46 pm
Leaving out everything Religious or Atheist, One fact has remained Totally UnChecked. This is not now, Nor has ever been anything related to Frank Miller. This is Paul Ribera, a gifted young artist that did it during downtime working a dead end job for less than peanuts. He is an Amazing artist and deserves credit.
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1:12 am
Erich, is it just me or can you hear the strains of Orange Blossom Express?
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1:13 am
Indeed, ex. It’s getting faster and faster and faster and faster!
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1:29 am
Or should that be Orange Blossom Special? I’m not as up on my bluegrass as I should be.
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2:28 pm
It’s “Special”. My cousin has been playing that song for years.
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8:58 pm
Thanks, Erich. I’m always glad to be corrected when I’m wrong about something!
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9:00 pm
Which is why you never admit it, unless a fellow Cultwire bastard points it out.
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4:08 am
Not true. Untrue on at least two levels.
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7:09 am
“Not true. Untrue on at least two levels.”
Really, Gelding? Why is it you’re more than willing to put something like that out there and yet fail to say why it’s untrue?
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6:58 am
“I’m always glad to be corrected when I’m wrong about something!”
Horse s**t!! You are far from “glad” when you’re corrected. (Well, by any “non-Christwire” member anyway.) You become more…..aggressive, Gelding. I’m still waiting for a response to Pig for this little tid-bit:
“Do you have the Downs?”
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7:33 am
Orange Blossom, do you not remember me apologising to you when I realised that you were in fact a trained professional working with the mentally ill, and not a clerk pretending to be a doctor? When I’m wrong I admit it and apologise where I should.
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7:38 am
You, on the other hand, just keep doubling down on the stupid. You’re still pretending that the words “obviously” and “superficially” are mutually exclusive.
Your obtuseness makes you look bad; your huffiness and dishonesty makes you look worse.
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7:51 am
“Your obtuseness makes you look bad; your huffiness and dishonesty makes you look worse.”
Whatever you say, Gelding. Sticks and stones. I am far from slow. I may be no English professor like you, but I am far from obtuse. Dishonesty? Proof, please.
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7:46 am
No you didn’t. You used your “realization” as a weapon to attempt to admonish me for things I said. You failed there, as well, Gelding.
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7:59 am
I apologised to you, and now you say I’m lying about that? Is it memory or honesty in which you are deficient? Or is it both?
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8:14 am
“I apologised to you, and now you say I’m lying about that?”
Most likely you’re not lying. I do question the “format” of said apology. I’m sure it was one of your “hidden inside an insult” ones.
“Is it memory or honesty in which you are deficient?”
My memory’s fine. I’ve already addressed your “assumption” about my honesty. You question it, then show me why, Gelding.
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8:20 am
You’re a hypocrite and a liar, just because you say you’re sorry doesn’t mean you actually are sorry. Your pride and ego are on the same levels as Cultwire.
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8:36 am
OK, so my humility, honesty and sincerity is merely evidence of my arrogance, dishonesty and insincerity? Wow.
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8:39 am
You hardly ever talk to a Cultwire member about the mistakes they make, and whenever you’re proven wrong, you just keep digging down further because you don’t want to admit that you’re wrong. You’ll be more than happy to chastise someone else though.
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9:00 am
“hardly ever”
ie, not never. But I have never seen you tackle one of your fellow naysayers for their racist, homophobic and misogynist language.
“whenever you’re proven wrong, you just keep digging”
When have I been “proven wrong” and kept digging? On the relatively rare occasions that I have been wrong I have immediately admitted it. That’s what’s called integrity. You should try it some time.
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11:50 am
“ie, not never. But I have never seen you tackle one of your fellow naysayers for their racist, homophobic and misogynist language.”
We’re all apart of different groups. Yes, what they say is wrong, but YOU make it your personal business to bitch and complain about the tiniest, most inconsequential things.
“When have I been “proven wrong” and kept digging? On the relatively rare occasions that I have been wrong I have immediately admitted it. That’s what’s called integrity. You should try it some time.”
HA! You’re proven wrong so damn often that it’s a laughing stock that you say you have integrity.
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1:20 am
Sorry. Wrong part of the country, rednecks. It’s just the bar down the road calling you to Communion. Go ahead and go. It’s on the house.
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1:37 am
Ah, the sweet sound of horse hair on cat gut.
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6:37 am
Another sacrament, Gelding?
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6:45 am
In a sense, OB, in a sense.
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9:06 am
Ah-HA!!!
I knew it!!!
You just proved it!!!!!
Maria Magdalena was rumored to be on Leonardo DaVinci’s original painting of the last supper, but they always denied it and said it was the apostle St. John.
And that St. John just looks like the person standing behind Jesus in that picture you wrote this article about. In fact: They look 100% identical!
That of course means that if the person behind Jesus in the above picture is not St. John, but Maria Magdalena, they must be the same in Leonardo daVinci’s painting.
You know what that means?
DAN BROWN WAS RIGHT! The Illuminati are amongst us!
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3:17 pm
So is the match-making cup the holy grail?
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6:21 pm
lmfao calm down christians, take a joke.
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10:24 pm
lol
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2:55 am
“Alright, atheists, hardy-har-har. You think it is funny to commission images like this and place them in your Satanic synogogues or ‘laboratories’ as you call them.”
Atheists don’t believe in anything (not “god” and not “satan”).
“All the apostles would get drunk on the best beer, because Jesus made it himself from water.”
And he can make water into wine. Perhaps they did drink wine and get drunk from it.
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4:09 am
“Perhaps they did drink wine and get drunk from it.”
Pure speculation.
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10:00 am
I’m sure jesus was able to turn water into wine and water into beer.
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2:36 pm
lol… someone did edit my post.. how lame
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3:32 am
see i dont think christwire understands that this painting is a joke
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10:29 pm
If you think mocking the son of God, who died to remove the stain of sin from the world, is something to joke about then go ahead and yuck it up tough guy. Hope an eternity in flaming sulfurous pits makes you laugh too.
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11:49 am
I think this is pretty funny… If God hates me for that, I hate him too. It’s his fault I find it funny, after all…
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10:09 pm
More like Christians:∞, athiest 0.
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9:52 am
It’s Christians like y’all that make most of us keep out faith silenced. Your ignorance is overwhelming, you use “words of love” to mask your hatred and disgust of anything you don’t consider “Christ-like”. Who cares that this was made, it’s funny as crap. Ever wonder why Christianity is the most hated religion in the world? It’s because the extreme seclusion and unacceptance in the hearts of most Christians. It’s a disgrace to God and Jesus. Check yourself before going on saying this disgraces Jesus, your lives probably disgrace him more. Tithe and hate your atheist brothers all you want, but God loves the guy who made this picture just as much as he loves you. Also y’all might want to do your research before you throw around the word Satanic. It’s the exact reason Anton Levy named the religion Satanism, because everything that’s not “Christian” enough for y’all is considered satanic. How can an atheist be satanic? Atheist means belief in no higher power, not just God you ignorant people. Glad to have found another site that disgraces what God stands for.
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6:56 pm
You are mean to real Christians who care about the love of Jesus. Love for Christ and Christian Jesus!
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6:52 pm
It’s not mean, it’s being real. Y’all can take your religion, I’ll take my relationship. Jesus wasn’t about religion, if you actually read the Bible then you would know that He would look down on the “church”. I’m not saying your values are wrong, but to condem others? Jesus is about love, I only see “Christians” loving other “Christians”. If we shared the love Jesus did then there would be way more believers today. He sought out tax collectors and prostitutes, today we condem homosexuals and the people who made this painting. How Rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesomedoes that help our cause? It doesn’t, it just drives people even further away. I love Jesus and everything He did for me, and for all of you for that matter. But I choose to focus my time on building a relationship with Him not just building relationships with those like me. Christianity should not be a religion it should be a relationship, not structured and processed, but organic and free. I don’t sit down with my wife and plan out specific days I spend with her, I cherish every second I have with her. That’s what Christianity is suppose to be, a real relationship with a real God. Befriending those that must churches would condem is what Jesus would want, it’s what He did! The guy who made this painting is lost but how is he suppose to find his way when the ones who have the answer cast him out? It doesn’t work like that. You can’t choose when to follow Jesus’ example and when to not. I’m sorry for rambling, my thoughts just pour and I write what comes to mind. The point is, hating on this painting is pointless, you gain nothing. Instead find the man (or woman) who made it and help him find his way. Stop condemning people, it does nothing for the cause.
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1:45 am
Wow, I thought I just found a funny picture on the internet, but the comments are even more hilarious. I hope Christians really don’t over think this picture. This picture should be taken as seriously as “Dogs playing poker”.
I think someone above said that Jesus over shot and will use his powers to make the ball go into the cup anyways….hahahahahaha really reaching there aren’t we? What if Jesus just missed? could that ever happen? Nope he’s infallible, right? Jesus Christ guys, get a life!!
I’m going to print this picture out and hang it above my toilet for my guess to laugh at when they are doing number 1. I think Jesus would appreciate that.
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1:32 pm
I wonder what would happen to the atheist authors of this offensive painting if instead of Jesus it was Mohammed.
Atheists like to attack Christianity as they know they are on safe ground. Most Christians are non-aggressive and do not decapitate blasphemers.
This picture demonstrates what gutless wonders atheists are.
I imagine on death when they find they are in a spiritual body and still in denial they end up as haunting,lost ghosts. Of course it will be too late then and their leaders such as Dawkins will not be much help from their living space in hell.
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