• Bieber Slams Prince William’s Hair, Becomes True ‘MURRICAN

    August 8, 2012 10:20 am 3 comments
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  • Days after America showed the British Redcoats up by putting a space rover on the moon, Justin Bieber helped keep the UK in their place with a grand slam on Prince William’s hair.

    As you may not know, the English are still ruled by maniacal dictators. Just watch an episode of Game of Thrones and you’ll see what life is like everyday in the UK: crazed people in capes sodomizing each other, midgets gyrating their hips and tinkling your daughters, bad teeth, throwing children of roofs and tribal foods being eaten from stew pots. It’s all a musky and primitive mix America threw off years ago, but England still lives under the archaic monarch system.

    Justin Bieber long ago escaped the UK by moving from the nation of Canada, the pale-skinned version of Mexico. Looking for a job, he moved to the US but had a hard time fitting in due to looking like a woman, sounding like a woman and being annoying like most Canadian comic entertainers. Canadians find things like fart-jokes and putting toothpaste in someone’s shoe as high end comedy, and Justin Bieber was doing things like that until today, when he finally understood what it means to be a true American.

    The Canadian-born Biebs, famous in part for his lush locks, stole a moment in a recent magazine interview to slam His Royal Highness Prince William for his thinning hair.

    “I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia,” the 18-year-old told British magazine Rolla Coaster (via the Daily Mail). “I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products.

    “You just take Propecia and your hair grows back.

    “Have you not got it over here?”

    That defiant attitude is what makes America great. When we kicked out the British in 1776, we gave them crates of toothbrushes as a parting gift. And we made fun of their ‘camoflouge’ red army fatigues by creating the restaurant Red Lobster. The gullible British will one day realize the true greatness of our country and apply to be a state. Just you watch.

    At any rate, good on Justin Bieber. I still think he is a nancy, but good on him. He’s one step closer to being a TRUE AMERICAN.

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    About The Author
    Frank Meyer Conservative Republican and believer of first amendment rights.

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