Songs of Praise — 5 Family-Friendly Electronic Dance Music Tracks Inspired by Jesus Christ
One of the most powerful ways to draw in America’s teenage youth is through the power of popular adolescent music. When the kids were busy rock and rolling, wholesome Christian bands were able to fill both pews and arenas with waves of young people singing their praise onto the Lord. But with the rise of orgy raves like Ecstasy Daily Carnalval and “Electronic Dance Music”, there has been a strong resurgence of devil noise, unplanned pregnancy, and general destruction of the family. Just as we were begging to purge Rock music of its unholy roots, the teenage taste has shifted from crukrchbumcrunch to wub-wahwuwuwuwaahwwah-wub.
At first listen I thought these new rave sounds were produced by tying up and flogging alley cats but they are actually made by high-tech computer software programs. After several frustrating days of trying to use a “synthetizer” to make a “remix” of Joy to the World, I decided to try and come up with a list of popular Electronic songs that are obviously inspired by Jesus Christ. The search was long and arduous. I waded through a seemingly endless sea of pulsing drum beats, over-saturated sirens, and Skillrex-like lesbot garage screams. 72 hours, 2 bottles of Excedrin, 4 panic attacks, and a mild case of post-traumatic stress disorder later I was delivered from this trial of the spirit much like the Israelites were from the Sinai desert. What I emerged with were 5 songs with praise-filled lyrics that just beg for a good pipe organ cover.
He’ll be back on tour VERY soon.
Feel So Close by Calvin Harris
“Your love pours down on me, surrounds me like a waterfall. And there’s no stopping us right now, I feel so close to you right now.” Amen! This song is like being baptized in the Christ’s love during every chorus. It is a testament to being able to overcome any obstacle with God by your side. It reminds me of my favorite poem of faith, Footprints in the Sand. It even contains some semblance of naturally produced music. What is more, Mr. Harris even has a nice, Christian name.
Levels (a.k.a. I Get a Good Feeling) by Avicii
Do you know when I get a good feeling? Every Sunday when I am assuring my entry into God’s Kingdom by preaching His holy word. I get a feeling that I’ve never had before when His presence enters me, and radiates His love through every inch of my body! The song’s title reminds me that there are many levels of Hell but only one level of Heaven, the level that the faithful are headed to. Because we get this good feeling, the uppermost level of God’s universe will be open to us. America’s youth should be reminded that if they want VIP access to the hip-hoppingest club of them all, Heaven, they need to get that good feeling too. That and abstain from drug use, homosexual behavior, premarital sex, emo fashion styles, and CoacHELLa. Then the bouncers “won’t have no beef, yoyo”.
DROP THE FAITH!
You Got The Love by The Source
“Sometimes I feel like saying Lord I just don’t care, but you’ve got the love I need to see me through.” This is an important message for today’s youth. Life can be confusing, especially with the Internet and MTV pushing sexual gratification like a corner-street ghetto drug dealers. “When food is gone you are my daily need. When friends are gone I know my savior’s love is real.” This may be hard to imagine, but when I was young, nobody wanted to come to my Bible-themed birthday parties. But I know one guy who would always show up. That’s right — my main man Jesus. Oh the fun we would have… It is important for kids to remember the best way to strike up a friendship is to find common ground and convert their non-believer classmates. If at first they do not come around, just keep trying.
Reaching Out by Nero
If my memory serves me correctly, Nero was the first Roman emperor who famously embraced Christianity. Because of this, Nero was one of the most well-loved Roman emperors. He knew that his people were all reaching out for something to hold. My rock and my redeemer! “Theres still sometimes that I can’t find what I’m searching for. But I still believe that you know what I’m looking for.” Truly a perfect way of phrasing it. Put your faith in God and He will show you the way! Teenage desire often fills the hole inside their hearts with junk food, internet pornography, knife parties, and “cosplay”. This is just a cry for help. They are reaching out for something real to hold on to, reaching out for God’s gentle but firm caress.
Nero erected some of the very first crosses — a humble symbol of his commitment to the Lord.
Waters of Nazareth by Justice I know this song has no praise lyrics, but I just can’t pass up a good title! Justice, named for the divine justice of God, is an expert at delivering strong Christian imagery to their legions of fans. Their album, Cross, shows that faith can shine even through the darkest of music genres and also that not all French are Godless, perverted cowards.
Praise! Justice concerts deliver inspiration for Churches of the future.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Wes F
2:16 pm
Boooooring…Don’t go with that mainstream stuffz…You need to bust out and party!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-bvYdKUq8-4
(I’m going to be so mad if this video auto-embeds itself…)
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3:52 pm
What repugnant filth! Not one word about Jesus… tsk tsk UrABoreUs.
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4:07 pm
“Not one word about Jesus…”
None of the 5 songs above say anything about Jesus either…Except maybe the last one on the list…Haven’t heard that one yet…
“What repugnant filth!”
So you don’t like my music…Big woop…Doesn’t mean Its bad music, just means YOU don’t like…After all, taste in music is subjective
“UrABoreUs.”
A child could come with a better insult…If you’re going to insult me, at least be creative about it…
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12:13 pm
I’m gonna take a crack at an insult… guh… urgh VFFgh!
Snake Eater!
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6:30 am
Is this real Ouro or fake Ouro?
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12:14 pm
This is getting annoying now…I’ve already said this is the real me before…
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2:07 pm
can I call you Snake Eater?
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6:40 pm
i enjoy snakes they are good infact they taste much like quail and its as tough as tilapia so delisious its a rare one your only suppossed to eat dead ones or ones that are about to die very good with salt mm their eyeballs are the next best thing thier tounge is nice too i hate thier tail it tastes like cow balls scrtch that i like cow balls it taste like chicken i hate chicken
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6:44 pm
Eve said the same thing before she cursed all of man.
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6:36 pm
Yes, but how do we know for sure?
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6:48 pm
You’ll know from the Chaff Grenade jamming your electronics
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7:27 pm
i know the real ourothe fake ouro is annoying
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6:37 pm
um im gonna go with n the last one is a no no
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6:45 pm
It doesn’t work :C
I prefer this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4aM_S5fyoM&feature=plcp I know he’s mainstream but I don’t care.
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6:53 pm
I like that one too…I just happen to be listening to New Fluttershy as I read this so that why I picked that song
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9:37 pm
you’re a brony? you just got 20 % cooler, in my views. also, nice name. i just researched it.
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6:32 am
Apricot, pony music isn’t mainstream, thankfully.
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7:57 am
it should be.
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8:56 am
No, it shouldn’t. But I’m glad that you concede my point.
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2:09 pm
Alex S is the most well-known Brony Music Artist. that was my point
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5:41 pm
Oh, so it’s mainstream within the pony noise community. Gotcha.
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4:10 pm
” It is important for kids to remember the best way to strike up a friendship is to find common ground and convert their non-believer classmates.”
This is horrible advice! That’s not how you make friends…You don’t try and change your friends just because you don’t like something about them…I can see now that you probably have no friends…
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5:12 pm
“I can see now that you probably have no friends…”
That’s okay, O. Marky has been offering to be everyone’s friend. Maybe he’ll be Mr. JR’s friend. They should be GREAT friends.
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6:33 am
“You don’t try and change your friends”
Uh, Ouro… you’re always trying to change your friends, like August and Erich.
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12:11 pm
When have I ever tried to change August or Erich?
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5:44 pm
You always seem to be telling them that they’re wrong about everything, which implies an attempt to change them.
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8:03 pm
That’s just correcting their massive amount of false information
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6:05 pm
The only song that’s good up there is by Calvin Harris and that’s just because I like the melody.
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6:15 pm
The only good song up there is by Calvin Harris and that’s just because I like the melody.
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6:43 pm
Mainiac + Ouroboros = Butt Buddies 4 life.
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6:47 pm
No Fair, Maniac!
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6:55 pm
Don’t have a valid argument so you just turn to poorly thought of insults…I already said if you’re going to insult me, you gotta try harder…
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8:24 pm
I know what you mean, O. Their version of an “insult” is just childish playground talk. I’ve heard better from elementary school students. Mr. JR’s responses are a lot like the “Find X” kid’s. You know, like “Yeah? Well you’re stupid.”
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5:21 pm
This statement coming from someone who uses childish nicknames…
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5:26 pm
Just a question Ex-atheist…are you talking to me or Mainiac…I honestly can’t tell with the way the comments are set up
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5:29 pm
Really doesn’t matter either way, O. What the Cartoon has to say is irrelevant anyway. “Ex-athiest” or “Cartoon”, a bitch is a bitch.
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5:33 pm
Mainiac.
At least you’re a somewhat decent person Ouro with a good head on their shoulders. Mainiac has delusions of grandeur, and thinks I’m stalking on him.
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5:37 pm
“Mainiac has delusions of grandeur…”
That is the epitome of irony, Cartoon.
“…and thinks I’m stalking on him.”
Not as of late, but I’m sure that will change.
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5:48 pm
Lich, don’t you call Mainiac a ‘burger flipper’?
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11:01 pm
Only to Mainiac, and only because he’s asking for it.
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5:26 am
“…and only because he’s asking for it.”
And only for you and a couple of others because you’ve “earned” it, bitch.
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6:35 am
Orange Blossom, enough of that misogynist talk.
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7:58 am
Save it, bitch. As of the other evening when Marky decided to BLATANTLY edit posts and hack into other peoples’ accounts and post FOR THEM, nothing you have to say holds any merit. For all we know you’re nothing but another of his personae. Now what was it you were saying about childish nicknames?
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8:55 am
Like I said, enough of the misogynist talk.
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10:18 am
“Like I said, enough of the misogynist talk.”
Like I said, save it, Professor Gelding. This isn’t about “grammar”. Your input is NOT necessary. Just because I’m not one of YOUR lot doesn’t make it any more misogynistic then what they would say. Don’t like what I have to say? Use that all-powerful “Ignore” button.
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5:42 pm
“This isn’t about “grammar”.”
No, it’s about your misogynist language.
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6:01 pm
You can still hit that button, Professor. Besides, using the word “bitch” on you isn’t misogynistic. Unless of course, you happen to be a woman and you’ve already told me you’re not. In your case, you fall under #3 of the definition:
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bitch
So again, save it.
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6:56 pm
“using the word “bitch” on you isn’t misogynistic”
Yes it is. It is an attempt to insult me by ascribing me female characteristics.
Get your head out of your ass.
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10:14 pm
“It is an attempt to insult me by ascribing me female characteristics.”
You must have some…..insecurities if you insist on saying that, Professor. I do believe I said:
“Unless of course, you happen to be a woman and you’ve already told me you’re not.”
Then told you where YOU fit.
“In your case, you fall under #3 of the definition:
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant ”
See? Every one of those descriptors fits you WITHOUT being misogynistic.
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10:49 pm
The Horse Fucker just loves his hypocrisy, doesn’t he?
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7:58 pm
What’s funny is you think calling someone gay is insulting, and yet you claim to belong to a ‘loving’ religion.
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3:47 am
We are loving. We love members of the opposite sex and the Lord.
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12:43 pm
Love doesn’t have stipulations when you’re talking about respect and caring about the well-being of others.
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3:28 pm
I was talking about magic sparkle time love. And I know that doesn’t have any stipulations for the likes of you, LN.
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3:31 pm
You’re still an asshole, no matter what you say. Then again, you make fun of the dead and you hate it when others are happy, so I’m not surprised.
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7:31 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7PMo1PnkXM My song is better
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5:37 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AADp5ujz81Y
Please do not post pedogay chinese girl cartoon porn.
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5:47 pm
Don’t know where you saw that, Lich, I’m not seeing anything of the sort on this page.
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6:56 pm
Why are you posting gay little boy songs Ex?
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8:31 pm
Apparently the bitch thinks it’s better than “pedogay chinese girl cartoon porn”. Of course, it takes a Cartoon to understand a cartoon.
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2:19 pm
I’m posting a “true” example of what pedogay chinese girl cartoons are.
You know to warn people of their evil intentions.
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7:41 pm
Be Just or Be Dead. Haseo will judge your worth.
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7:46 pm
wait, that reference doesn’t work; I didn’t post that video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcnh6i7RlYg&feature=share there we go. Because Haseo is a 100% badass.
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7:53 pm
pedogay Chinese girl. somehow this makes sense to you?
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11:20 am
Allow me to elaborate.
“Pedogay” – panders to pedophiles.
“Chinese” – Made by asians
“Girl” – looks like something you’d show to girls.
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11:45 am
There’s already a word for pedophiles: Pedophiles, and calling all Asians Chinese is completely racist. No dice, Lich, you’re still a hateful bitch.
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11:29 pm
well when you annex the “gay” it makes much more sense!
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4:25 am
You know who still watches cartoons? My 5 year old daughter. Son, when was the last time you were in the company of a woman? And I don’t mean one that was made up of cell animation.
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6:28 am
Anyone can watch cartoons because cartoons appeal to all ages! Cartoons are awesome
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6:37 am
Ouro, are you into Strawberry Shortcake? I don’t mean the sex thing; I mean the cartoon.
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7:53 am
There’s s “sex thing” called Strawberry Shortcake? It seems your knowledge of all things….sexual is limitless, bitch. The twisted kind of sex, but sex nonetheless.
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8:58 am
“t seems your knowledge of all things….sexual is limitless”
I am a man of broad experience in that arena. But I’m sure that there is still plenty for me to learn.
“bitch”
Enough of the misogynist slurs.
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10:26 am
“I am a man of broad experience in that arena.”
I’m sure you are.
“But I’m sure that there is still plenty for me to learn.”
And I’m sure you will. Your lot is famous for their “porn” surfing. I’ll bet you’ll learn ALL kinds of new…..acts. Try them all and be sure to report back on them, H.A.
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6:39 pm
What’s up with your new avatar, Fiddle? Some kind of grotesque homo-ape? Repulsive.
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6:44 pm
No, Pig. I just thought you’d feel more comfortable if you thought you were communicating with another animal. You find it repulsive and yet you use that pic of some fat-faced, little girly-boy you found on the internet? The irony just goes on and on.
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12:17 pm
I don’t even wanna know what the sexual thing of Strawberry Shortcake is…
To answer your question, nope. The only girl’s cartoon I watch is My Little Pony
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2:13 pm
can’t be as bad as slicing your own arms open or getting electrocuted.
I tried watching Strawberry shortcake. didn’t like it. but it was definitely restricted to a younger audience.
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4:35 pm
I’ve been cut and I’ve been burned, even branded…But I actually haven’t been electrocuted…yet…
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11:02 pm
neither have I. but the thought of it makes me smile a bit.
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7:59 am
you mean like… talking? with real people? nopenopenopenopenopenope
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7:55 am
“s”
*a
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6:09 am
“Every Sunday when I am assuring my entry into God’s Kingdom by preaching His holy word. ”
With that you mean going to church? Wonder why you need church, if “god” is everywhere…
“I get a feeling that I’ve never had before when His presence enters me, and radiates His love through every inch of my body!”
So you get horny?
And that video “How to dance to dubstep(christian version)” seems to me as they would be possesed by demons.
“If my memory serves me correctly, Nero was the first Roman emperor who famously embraced Christianity. Because of this, Nero was one of the most well-loved Roman emperors.”
Seems your memory doesn’t work properly.
“Nero’s rule is often associated with tyranny and extravagance.He is known for many executions, including those of his mother and the probable murder by poison of his stepbrother, Britannicus. He is infamously known as the Emperor who “fiddled while Rome burned” (although this is now considered an inaccurate rumor) and as an early persecutor of Christians. He was known for having captured Christians burned in his garden at night for a source of light. Christian tradition and secular historical sources hold Nero as the first major state sponsor of Christian persecution, and sometimes as the killer of Apostles Peter and Paul. Some 2nd- and 3rd-century theologians, among others, recorded their belief that Nero would return from death or exile, usually as “the Anti-Christ”. He is also seen as one of the most savage persecutors of Christians.”
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nero
So much about that…
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2:23 pm
I think Nero was what’s known as a “Republican” by today’s standards.
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4:44 pm
TRUST ME THESE ARE MUCH BETTER CHRISTIAN SONGS FOR DANCING
Galaxies – Owl City
Tidal Wave – Owl City
Amazing Life – Brit Nicole
Me Without You – TobyMac
So Long Self – MercyMe
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