• Songs of Praise — 5 Family-Friendly Electronic Dance Music Tracks Inspired by Jesus Christ

    August 28, 2012 12:54 pm 85 comments

    One of the most powerful ways to draw in America’s teenage youth is through the power of popular adolescent music. When the kids were busy rock and rolling, wholesome Christian bands were able to fill both pews and arenas with waves of young people singing their praise onto the Lord. But with the rise of orgy raves like Ecstasy Daily Carnalval and “Electronic Dance Music”, there has been a strong resurgence of devil noise, unplanned pregnancy, and general destruction of the family. Just as we were begging to purge Rock music of its unholy roots, the teenage taste has shifted from crukrchbumcrunch to wub-wahwuwuwuwaahwwah-wub.

    At first listen I thought these new rave sounds were produced by tying up and flogging alley cats but they are actually made by high-tech computer software programs. After several frustrating days of trying to use a “synthetizer” to make a “remix” of Joy to the World, I decided to try and come up with a list of popular Electronic songs that are obviously inspired by Jesus Christ. The search was long and arduous. I waded through a seemingly endless sea of pulsing drum beats, over-saturated sirens, and Skillrex-like lesbot garage screams. 72 hours, 2 bottles of Excedrin, 4 panic attacks, and a mild case of post-traumatic stress disorder later I was delivered from this trial of the spirit much like the Israelites were from the Sinai desert. What I emerged with were 5 songs with praise-filled lyrics that just beg for a good pipe organ cover.

    He’ll be back on tour VERY soon.

    Feel So Close by Calvin Harris

    “Your love pours down on me, surrounds me like a waterfall. And there’s no stopping us right now, I feel so close to you right now.” Amen! This song is like being baptized in the Christ’s love during every chorus. It is a testament to being able to overcome any obstacle with God by your side. It reminds me of my favorite poem of faith, Footprints in the Sand. It even contains some semblance of naturally produced music. What is more, Mr. Harris even has a nice, Christian name.

    Levels (a.k.a. I Get a Good Feeling) by Avicii

    Do you know when I get a good feeling? Every Sunday when I am assuring my entry into God’s Kingdom by preaching His holy word. I get a feeling that I’ve never had before when His presence enters me, and radiates His love through every inch of my body! The song’s title reminds me that there are many levels of Hell but only one level of Heaven, the level that the faithful are headed to. Because we get this good feeling, the uppermost level of God’s universe will be open to us. America’s youth should be reminded that if they want VIP access to the hip-hoppingest club of them all, Heaven, they need to get that good feeling too. That and abstain from drug use, homosexual behavior, premarital sex, emo fashion styles, and CoacHELLa. Then the bouncers “won’t have no beef, yoyo”.

    DROP THE FAITH!

    You Got The Love by The Source

    “Sometimes I feel like saying Lord I just don’t care, but you’ve got the love I need to see me through.” This is an important message for today’s youth. Life can be confusing, especially with the Internet and MTV pushing sexual gratification like a corner-street ghetto drug dealers. “When food is gone you are my daily need. When friends are gone I know my savior’s love is real.” This may be hard to imagine, but when I was young, nobody wanted to come to my Bible-themed birthday parties. But I know one guy who would always show up. That’s right — my main man Jesus. Oh the fun we would have… It is important for kids to remember the best way to strike up a friendship is to find common ground and convert their non-believer classmates. If at first they do not come around, just keep trying.

    Reaching Out by Nero

     If my memory serves me correctly, Nero was the first Roman emperor who famously embraced Christianity. Because of this, Nero was one of the most well-loved Roman emperors. He knew that his people were all reaching out for something to hold. My rock and my redeemer! “Theres still sometimes that I can’t find what I’m searching for. But I still believe that you know what I’m looking for.” Truly a perfect way of phrasing it. Put your faith in God and He will show you the way! Teenage desire often fills the hole inside their hearts with junk food, internet pornography, knife parties, and “cosplay”. This is just a cry for help. They are reaching out for something real to hold on to, reaching out for God’s gentle but firm caress.


    Nero erected some of the very first crosses — a humble symbol of his commitment to the Lord.

    Waters of Nazareth by Justice I know this song has no praise lyrics, but I just can’t pass up a good title! Justice, named for the divine justice of God, is an expert at delivering strong Christian imagery to their legions of fans. Their album, Cross, shows that faith can shine even through the darkest of music genres and also that not all French are Godless, perverted cowards.

    Praise! Justice concerts deliver inspiration for Churches of the future.

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