Black Veil Bride Lead Singer Sonny Moore Skrillex Dies, Given Vampire Funeral
Sonny Moore Skrillex’s grave had to be covered with blessed black iron, a way to keep his tortured zombie body from rising from the dead and trying to reunite with his band the Black Veil Brides.
Editor’s Note:Â Please help us mourn Black Veil Bride’s Sonny Moore Skrillex on the memorial page that has been established for him.
Wachovia, Translyvania – A great loss today for the Gothic community, as their lead singer and idol Sonny Moore Skrillex has died. He was only 44-years-of-age.
Sonny Moore, aka Skrillex, started his life off as a troubled teen from Los Angeles. Always shunned by his family for his aversion to daylight and strong desire for shoving raw meat down his mouth, Moore took to dark music and arts as a solace and way of stress release.
As he aged, Moore turned his musical skill into a profitable hobby with a group of youths he met at a boy’s home named Strawberry Field, on the north side of Skid Row. Moore and his friends called their band, “From First to Last”, a name of a carnal act they wanted everyone at their shows to perform if they wanted to get into the VIP section.
After several years, the band realized that against quality 90′s era groups like Smashmouth and Sugar Ray, they just didn’t stand a chance.  Sonny Moore also hated doing concerts during any sort of daylight hours, hurting the band’s ability to really build up a strong fan base. This is one moore told his band, ‘Let’s form a dark metal group’ and they slapped on women’s makeup, started playing their instruments even more demonically and renamed themselves the “Black Veil Brides”.
From First to Last: Jake Pitts (bassed guitar), Jinxx (tamborines), The Skrillex (weird electrical noises/lead vocals), Ashley Pretty (drug distribution, female vocals), Puts Christian in a Coma (atheist preist, league guitar). The band will now face a tough time that their EDM chief and lead vocalist Sonny ‘Skrillex’ Moore has passed away.
Black Veil Brides enjoyed relative success, playing at several small venues and birthday parties of celebrity children with parents who wanted to be seen as ‘edgy’. But beneath the band’s black clothed exterior did not lie innocent young men wearing costumes for show: they were all secretly practicing vampirism.
Using the alias of “Andy Biersack”, Sonny Moore and his companions went out to steal the heart of a prist, so they could necromance Vlad the Impaler. When the story broke, the Pope and others obviously prayed against the “Black Veil Brides”, named so that they could trick Catholic parents into allowing their kids to partake in their music. While experts cannot figure out a cause of death yet for Moore to date, the power of the prayers agains this vampire spirit likely had much to do with his untimely, spontaneous passing.
One day after his funeral earlier in the week, groundskeepers reported that Moore’s corpse bursted from its grave and attempted to walk in the land of the living, suckling the blood of small animals and even trying to bite a couple taking a late night stroll. The secretive city of Wachovia tried to veil the secrets of what happened, but images of The Skrillex’s grave site now show it has been blessed by a priest and is shielded by Holy Roman cast iron.
Hopefully with their lead singer now layed to rest, the Black Veil Brides threat will be gone from our children, forever. Amen.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Reverend Clyde H. Higgins
You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.
5:16 am
Not to be to blunt but, you don’t know crap! Everything you write there about BlackVeil Brides and Skrillex is wrong! The names is the photo, (you wrote Jake Pitts, Jinxx, Skrillex, Ashley Pretty, C.C. When it’s actually C.C., Jake Pitts, Andy Biersack, Jinxx, Ashley Purdy). Jake Pitts plays guitar not bass. Jinxx plays guitar not tambourine. Andy Biersack (not Skrillex.) sings. Ashley Purdy (Purdy not Pretty) plays bass and does not nor has he ever sells/sold drugs! Christian Mora (goes by Christian Coma) plays drums and is in no way an atheist priest!Â
Anyways Black Veil Brides are a metal/rock/glam rock band. Skrillex is a dubstep DJ. One has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the other!! I personally don’t think you should go about talking crap about people (and faking deaths) when you don’t know anything at all about them! Do some research first!Â
Lastly Sonny John Moore didn’t die, he is not 44 and he is not a part of Black Veil Brides. He is very much alive, he’s only 24 and he’s a DJ not in a band!Â
Sincerely, a seriously angry Black Veil Brides fan (who actually knows stuff)!Â
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4:00 pm
Well Mr. I’m so intelligent yet I’m still gonna burn in a sulpher fueled lake of never ending fire, if your so smart then why do you spurn the selfless sacrifice that the son of God made for you? In second thought I think I know why. It is because these demon worshiping idolaters you know oh so much about will be there to burn with you.
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9:29 pm
As an atheist I don’t give two fucks if you think I’m going to burn in hell. I’d be more than happy to spend my eternity with them too! So many people would be dead if it wasn’t for Black Veil Brides. They stop so many people from committing suicide, and you think that’s satanic how? Or is being suicidal satanic to you too?! What isn’t satanic to you people? Liking rock music is. Being a homosexual is. Being anything but Christian is. What isn’t?Â
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11:12 pm
Elly knows their stuff. Also Sean Peterson, you do realise that according to your own bible the day Christ was crucified was the day ALL SIN was wiped from mankind’s slate. Christ went to hell and back for three days to clear ANY and ALL previous sins so for the past 2,000 odd years mankind has technically started off with a clean slate. There is also the fact JESUS mentioned nothing about homosexuality or any other of the bigoted views so called Christians claim to hold to be true. He was more of a “be good and good things happen regardless of who or what you are. Be kind to others no matter what they do to you” kind of a guy.
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11:56 pm
This is true. I do know my stuff. I’m a dedicated BVB fan so I would. But what youre saying about being cleared of all sin plays a part in why I walked away from religion. Most Christians force what is a sin and what is not. They feed anti homosexuality to people to much! As a girl who wants to be a lawer specializing in human/gay rights this means way to much to me. Homosexuality is NOT a sin nor is it a disorder/life style choice. People don’t chose to be that way. And way to many Christians try to tell them there wrong for loving who they love and that’s not right. You try to make them feel like its a life style it’s not. It’s a life and they have people they love and that lie them and they should not be ashamed of that but you try to make them feel as tho they should. And that’s wrong. I truthfully don’t belive that’s what God should want to the be pushing out. That God loves everyone jus now as they really are. Think about that!
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12:00 am
Love*
Them*
To*
Just*
(to many auto corrects in that sorry!)
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12:26 am
Most “Christians” claim to follow the bible and use it to justify a lot of horrendous rubbish including homophobia (which Jesus mentioned nothing about) which is why me and my family left the church whilst I was still quite young. The church is too full of hypocrites for my liking. As for your misspelling don’t worry it still made a lot more sense than any of the rubbish the christwire cult talk about. I am also guessing you are relatively new here Elly (as I have yet to encounter you on the site) in which case hello and welcome to the site.
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1:33 am
This is true. Most of my family are Christians execpt for me. And I am new here. So hello to you to Jonny. And Eric do the spelling mistakes really Mather that much to you? Really get over it please.
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1:39 am
Sorry to offend, Elly, my dearest American Sister in Christ. I was amused that your post about grammatical errors contained yet another error! Laughing out loud!
*Erich
*matter
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11:56 am
That was wrong on so many ways.
I’m not amarican.
I’m not your “sister in Christ”.
I don’t give a crap how to spell your name.
That was another auto correct.
Calm down.
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12:32 am
too*
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12:39 am
Erich I see you have nothing constructive to add to the discussion so are going to pick up on a insignificant grammatical mistake well done. As usual you are on brilliant form and deserve a medal. I’m thinking the annually awarded medal for “who on earth cares” I shall put your name forward at the next board meeting.
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12:52 am
I see that your “irony detector” has failed for about the 3 millionth time.
The British are known for their simplistic or non-existent sense of humor. Good to see that some stereotypes hold true! Cheerio, good chap! Boil any sandwiches lately?
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1:08 am
I notice you fail to acknowledge the not so subtle use of British humour. In light of this new information the board is going to have to award you a further medal Erich. I hope you have a trophy case if not we can arrange someone to come round and help install one. Something tells me you are going to need the display case by the time this conversation is finished what with all the medals you keep collecting.
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1:10 am
As for boiling a sandwich the board decided to do just that in honour of your repeated brilliance at winning medals. It is in the post along with the medals. I hope you like tuna, it is all the board had left after a busy day boiling sandwiches.
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1:13 am
Wait?!?! Can you boil sandwiches?!
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2:04 am
Apparently it is what the British people do according to Erich
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10:13 am
Jonny, old fruit, old bean, wot wot?
Rather hilarious to see you pontificating on what Jesus did or did not say.
I remind you that there is no contemporary evidence whatsoever that this Jesus character ever existed.
How can you be so certain about what this supposed Jesus said when you can’t even prove that he existed in the first place?
Next thing you’ll be telling us what King Arthur and Robin Hood did and did not say!
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11:03 am
Exbrony
I was actually referring to what the bible claimed Jesus said than what the (possible fictional) person actually said.
He could have been a right d**k but according to the bible said very little to offend.
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1:20 pm
Actually, the British are known for having a much better sense of black humour than the Americans. And if you don’t know what black humour is then its sarcasm and dead pan humour. Just saying…
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8:41 am
So very true we do have a better sense of black humour. We have also been known to have a dry sense of humour. We also, stereotypically, have a better understanding of irony.
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11:13 am
You know nothing. That is The Skrillex is the middle. The article says he changed his name to Biersack when he went on that priest’s heart raid in Italy. It’s like McLovin in SuperBad, he’s just running by a moniker and hoping that his name isn’t tainted during a night of evil, but too bed, we found out he was behind it and unleashed prayers on him. Now, we’ve buried his vampire soul forever.
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12:19 pm
Now you’re just being ridiculous…Skrillex and Biersack are clearly two different people…That picture is crudely photoshopped…
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8:24 am
First of all well done you’ve managed to discover Skrillex’s real name is Sonny Moore, spelt Andy Biersack’s name correctly (a first for christwire), correctly called the band Black Veil Brides (more often than not it ends up getting referred to as Black Veiled Brides here), correctly stated that the band also includes Jake Pitts and Jinxx and mentioned that Skrillex used to be a part of First to Last. Apart from that everything else is wrong.
Skrillex is not 44, he is two decades younger in fact. He is also still very much alive. He also has nothing to do with Black Veil Brides. Sonny Moore did not help form From First to Last, he joined the line-up in 2004 the band was formed in 1999.
As for hating doing concerts in daylight hours, this is a load of rubbish as well. Do you know who the majority of bands that perform during the day are aimed at? It is young children. The bands that perform before the sun sets are due to the fact they are all family friendly and aimed more at entertaining children than adults. Want an adult audience, it is best to perform when everyone’s finished work, i,e. after the sun sets. Want a family audience and are a family orientated act pick the day time. Also pretty sure Skrillex has been to a few festivals in his time (many of which take place in the sun light) and taken part in concerts DURING the day.
The lead singer of Black Veil Brides is actually Andy Biersack not Skrillex (Sonny Moore). The two are completely different people. Nice job photoshopping Skrillex into the band. No one’s going to be able to tell that’s exactly what you did in the picture.
The band members of Black Veil Brides is as follows: Jake Pitts on lead guitar (not bass or “bassed” as you incorrectly called it), Jinxx on rhythm guitar, violin and backing vocals (not tambourines), Andy Biersack (not Skrillex and it is just Skrillex not “The Skrillex”) is lead vocals and keyboard occasionally, Ashley Purdy (not “Pretty”) on bass and backing vocals (not charged with drug distribution or female vocals) and finally but not least you’ve got CC (Christian Coma not “Put a Christian in a Coma”) is the drummer and percussion (not a atheist priest or on “league” guitar). Also there is no such thing as a atheist priest Atheism is not a religion it is a lack of.
Also not only is Skrillex not dead neither is Andy Biersack (the actual lead vocalist of Black Veil Brides. As neither of them are in fact dead, it is impossible for anything you have said in the last paragraph to have happened. That’s ignoring the fact there is actually no way it could happen if either had died of course. Zombies remain the thing of nightmares and don’t actually exist. The dead are not going to rise from their grave.
Finally a band doesn’t always stop going after the loss of the lead singer. Many bands have continued on with a different lead singer. If it was true that ANDY BIERSACK was dead it wouldn’t necessarily spell the end of Black Veil Brides.
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10:34 am
Oh ye foolish generation, it shall be suffered upon you wrath and punishment for not heeding my holy words.
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11:29 am
Sounds like someone’s judging. As a “reverend” you should know better than to judge. According to the bible judgement is reserved to god and god alone.
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11:46 am
As a reverend, it is my job to be a JUDGE and JUDGE THOSE WHO ARE GUILTY, GUILTY!
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12:48 pm
As a reverend it is your job to teach the bible as written. A reverend may be representing the word of god but not offer out the judgement of god. There are so many passages relating to not being able to judge. You’ve got judge not lest you be judged, Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, hate the sin not the sinner and MANY more.
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12:59 pm
The Bible imparts the judgement of God, and it is the goodly Reverend’s job to teach it. I don’t understand why Emosexuals have such a hard time with logic…
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1:16 pm
Anyway what a Reverend if he is allowed to Judge in place of your God will do ? he will Kill the person Himself ?
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1:16 pm
Nope not at all the reverend spreads the WORD of god and nothing else. All judgement is supposed to be left to god as he is the only thing that can see the true measure of a person according to your bible.
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5:07 am
WE ARE NOT “Emosexuals”WE ARE EMOINAL KIDS NOW ONE WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN WE HAVE TOO MUCH SEX????? NO WE DON’T WE ARE FINE PEOPLE WE LACK COLOR YES WE STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE AND STAY IN GROUPS IF WE ARE BISEXUAL LIKE ME WE GET REALLY OFFENDED AND YES I’M AN ATHEIST AND I LIKE IT NO DON’T WEAR BLACK NAIL POLISH ONLY DEIVL WORSHIPERS DO THAT OR IF YOU HAVE PERMARITAL SEX YOU’LL GO TO HELL WELL I DO NOT CARE OKAY I’D LOVE TO GO TO HELL THERE YOU DON’T DEAL WITH SCUMBAGS LIKE YOU AND I’VE BEEN JUDGED PAST THE POINT OF TOOOO MUCH I HATE IT YOU THOUGH uggggg
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11:14 am
Read the book of judges, my son. I am a just judge and you shall heed my rulings. And i convict Skrillex of vampire witchcraft.
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7:57 pm
Well said Reverend!
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4:44 pm
“Read the book of judges, my son. I am a just judge and you shall heed my rulings. And i convict Skrillex of vampire witchcraft.”
And i convict you of idiotism.
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10:15 am
“According to the bible judgement is reserved to god and god alone.”
Not true. Shows how little you know about the bible.
But just for shits and giggles, tell us which bit of the bible says that?
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7:10 pm
Sorry, but theres a thing called ‘The Bible’ and I’m pretty sure more people belive whats in there, than what people on the internet are making up.
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12:13 pm
Jonny, I’m concerned that you know so much about the emosexual community. I will be monitoring your posts with much more scrutiny from now on.
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12:57 pm
Wow I feel so privileged that you are going to monitor my posts so closely. Just so you know so you can apply the correct level of scrutiny I, like many others out there, like to know a bit about the bands I am a fan of. Also if unsure of any information I use this marvellously magical tool called the internet to look up anything I don’t know. I hear it is going to be massive.
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1:02 pm
I believe that is is what the wasted generation refer to as ‘sarcasm’.
Apparently it fills the void left behind in the absence of God’s love…
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1:12 pm
Sarcasm is a brilliant tool that is very rarely used correctly. It points out just how idiotic a person is being and shows how little the person using it cares in one amazing swoop and doesn’t have to rely on blatantly stating either fact.
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4:08 pm
I think your talk of “massive tools” is some sort of emoqueerual code talk for fornication.
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10:47 pm
Nope when I say “massive tool” and stoop to your level I talk about some moronic idiot who isn’t worth the oxygen they breath but as I am not a massive d**k by massive tool I mean a good way of finding out useful infoormation
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12:35 am
Thanks for taking the time to explain.
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12:41 am
No problem Erich just helping out.
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10:16 am
Laughing out loud, Jonny! You sure are an expert on sarcasm.
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1:15 am
I hope you realise that every single one of my comments up to this point are pretty sarcastic, especially the fact I claimed to only be helping out. If not you’ve missed out. Also by the way I clearly recognised the whole “You sure are an expert on sarcasm.” comment was sarcastic. The fact you were being sarcastic clearly suggests you missed the subtle sarcasm I placed in the comment before yours.
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2:00 am
Wait, you weren’t really trying to help? We need to get LN in here to ferret out what exactly is sarcasm and what is being said with sincerity. It’s near impossible to tell in this format.
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1:32 pm
It is so rewarding and faith strengthening when God Almighty answers my prayers.
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11:01 pm
So let me get this straight you prayed to wish someone dead? Jesus (you know that one guy who you are supposed to follow and listen to as a CHRISTIAN, clue’s in the Christ part in case you missed it) will not be happy with you wishing people dead. The whole love thy neighbour was kind of a big deal for him.
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10:17 am
Ever heard of imprecatory prayer? No?
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1:03 am
Yes I have. I also know that Jesus wasn’t as fond of killing his fellow man as his “father” was. Even though the prayer exists doesn’t mean Jesus would approve.
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5:10 pm
Skrillex has nothing to do with BVB…This is fact…
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7:45 pm
How do you know? Did you read it on the internet?
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8:50 pm
It’s common knowledge that Skrillex and BVB aren’t together…Anyone who actually listens to BVB or Skrillex can tell you this…Get some common sense…
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10:51 pm
Ouroboros knows this because it is common sense Andy Biersack and Skrillex look nothing alike anyone with access to a computer will be able to discover that this is true
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8:10 pm
Smashmouth represents the pinnacle of musical achievement. The Skrillex and His Brides never stood a chance. No wonder he offed himself. Wasn’t that him on FoxedNews today?
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10:55 pm
Hate to disappoint smashmouth was far from the pinnacle of musical achievement. Skrillex (not “the” before his stage name) isn’t brilliant but isn’t the type of person who offs himself for not competing with smashmouth (he’s surprisingly popular by the way) He also has nothing to do with BVB who are a great band
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12:38 am
“…BVB who are a great band”
No they aren’t, but Smashmouth was. They were the only “great band” ever. Followed closely by Jackyl.
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12:58 am
Smashmouth were the only great band huh? Obviously someone hasn’t listened to enough Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Beatles, The Jam, The Clash, The Who, Pink Floyd or Queen. Hmm wait a minute I think all these great bands have something in common I wonder what it could be?
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1:01 am
Yes, they’re not Smashmouth.
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1:08 am
Have to agree with Jonny…BVB is a great band…every band he listed is a great band…There are a lot of bands greater than Smashmouth
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1:13 am
LOL!
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1:16 am
What is the fool laughing about now?
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1:19 am
Your ironic joke! (Don’t worry, I won’t tell Jonny. He’s too British to figure it out anyways lol)
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1:33 am
Is it just me who finds it funny when Americans don’t get what irony is?
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1:38 am
I wasn’t joking…Nothing about my comment was a joke…Ironic or not…Learn to tell when someone is serious…
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1:42 am
lol
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2:01 am
This is why you annoy the hell out of me Erich…You always think I’m joking…Just freaking stop…
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1:18 am
Erich, I think you need t an insult barometer. I can send you one along with the various medals you have won lately if you wish. I’m sure we have a spare lying around somewhere.
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1:03 am
For you, Jonny. Britain’s musical apex!
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1:16 am
Someone’s obviously not heard this:
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1:19 am
or this:
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1:21 am
or this:
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1:25 am
or this:
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1:30 am
Or even this:
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11:17 am
Are these Norweigan bands? I cannot understand a word they are saying.
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12:17 pm
Apparently you don’t speak English…. ’cause they were speaking English…
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1:21 am
Sorry, not impressed by a group of English moppets who’s only song ever had to be boosted by the AMERICAN potty-mouth comedy, “Wayens Brothers part Two” to get any airplay. Try again, Liam.
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1:17 am
How quickly did the Queen Mum knight these clowns? “Sirs” Right Said Fred? Another reason why British music gets, and deserves, no respect whatsoever.
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1:51 am
British music deserves a lot more respect than a lot of American music. Who do I thank for releasing such rubbish as Rebecca Black, Nicki Minaj, Jay Z, The Pussycat Dolls and many MANY others similar? They need to know what a great service they are doing to killing music
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2:07 am
FYI, When you have to resort to cherry-picking, you lose the argument, Liam. You sure are pretty terrible at debating, laughing out loud!
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2:13 am
How did Jonny “cherry pick”? His argument makes absolute sense…You just don’t have a counter-argument…
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2:16 am
He cherry-picked horrible American bands to make his point. C’mon O-Dawg, you’re better than…wait. You’re joking again! Pretending to be a moron! Almost got me! LOL
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2:23 am
Fuck you Erich…Just fuck you…I am not joking…Seriously, what great band has come out of America recently? Not many worth mentioning…Most of the music on my iPhone playlist is from outside America…
If you seriously think I’m joking all the time…You’re the moron…
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6:59 am
I agree with you Ouroboros there are not many good American bands to come out of America lately. Also this “cherry-picking” rubbish bands I think you’ll find Erich I stated that the bands were just some of the few and you lost the argument a while ago by your own logic by picking right said fred as the “apex” of British music and ignoring all the actual great British bands.
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10:21 am
I agree that there haven’t been a lot of good bands to come out of America lately.
Black Veal Brides, for instance, is absolutely terrible…
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2:40 pm
No Blood On The Dance Floor is terrible Black Veil Brides are amazing!
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1:12 am
Smashmouth is one of the most powerful musical acts in Western history. I wouldn’t expect you coy Brits to understand great music, Jonny.
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1:15 am
What’s with the exaggerated love for Smashmouth? They are mediocre at best…Maybe like 1 really memorable hit…Yippee…
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2:25 am
Have you ever produced a number 1 summer hit that appeared on NOW That’s What I Call Music? If not, you have no room to talk against Smashmouth. They really defined the modern music era.
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3:30 am
Lol, you’re judging them based on the fact one song ended up on a NOW CD? Lol…They’ll put anything on NOW…I’m pretty sure one of the newest ones has freaking Bieber on it…
NOW does not equal greatness…Not even close
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1:28 am
Agreed. Smashmouth were game changers.
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10:22 am
“Only shooting stars break the mould”
– Smashmouth
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12:16 pm
That’s the “1 really memorable hit” I was talking about… Other than that song, what else are they remembered for?
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11:25 am
If it wasn’t for Smashmouth, I wouldn’t be here right now. They saved my life! Don’t hate!
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12:53 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQj–Kjn0z8
Walkin’ on the Son really saved my life. I was in a dark spot and down because everyone was turning their back on God. I contemplated giving up on everyone’s soul, but this song let me know we have to really immerse our selves in the Holy Father and walk on faith. This song saved my life and that of all the sinners I have touched.
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11:26 pm
Brother Adam praise you! I too have a special story about Walking on the Sun. It was the song playing on the radio when the police came to my door and told me to come with them to the hospital where my daughter was after being raped.
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3:33 pm
I never even knew who made that song. I’ve always called it “That song from Shrek.”
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6:21 pm
Yet another lost soul who was saved by the uplifting lyrics and tight songwriting abilities of Smashmouth! Praise!
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1:40 am
Not doubting that Smashmouth was a good band just stating the fact they were far from the best band ever
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1:36 am
Britain wrote the book on great music acts but don’t worry Adam it isn’t something I’d expect an American to understand.
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2:20 am
What chapter was “Blue”?
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7:03 am
Blue wasn’t in the book. It wasn’t the big book of rubbish music. That book is mainly filled with American bands but has one or two British groups
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10:25 am
Jonny, your sudden outbreak of jingoism is making me glad that I’m not British. Unfortunately, your anachronistic, parasitic monarch and religious authority is still my head of state =(
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11:25 am
Fan of a lot of British music not necessarily because they are British but because they were brilliant. Just pointed out they were all British as a pre-emptive strike. As for our Queen being your head of state, I myself am not sure if the commonwealth still has a place in the modern world.
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11:41 pm
@Jonny – That was well said.
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11:39 pm
Smashmouth was my wife’s favorite group back then. She was killed by a drunk driver in a head-on two years ago. I found Smashmouth’s CD in the CD player. She listened to it a lot. Adam you’re so reaL.
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7:36 am
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11:47 pm
Doubters burn for eternity. No one wants that. You should be so lucky to know true Christians on this Holy site who care about your soul and would drop whatever they’re doing to try to plant the seed of life, of Christian life, in you and praying it will grow. You’re a real piece of shit kblmE.
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10:38 pm
i’m christian, and i approve this message
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12:58 pm
You guys do realize this entire site is a gag site yes?? and for the record i am also a BVB fan, but i have followed Chirst Wire for a while now because sometimes even I get nice little chuckle out of these rediculously fabricated articles, but once again CHRISTWIRE IS A GAG SITE lets not take anything too serious.
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3:32 pm
sooner or later people catch on. most stay for the ride.
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5:35 pm
“most stay for the ride.”
That’s why I’m here
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1:29 am
I, for one, am here because it is hilarious to vent out against fake evangelical Christians.
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1:35 am
Well that and the eventual hope that one day my christwire persona will finally manage to one up exbrony’s christwire persona. (no offence exbrony I have a lot of respect for your persona just meant that as a joke)
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1:27 am
A large number of the commenters realise that Christwire is a gag site. Many of us just use it as a place to vent. We can attack the “far-right evangelical Christians” on this site without causing any offence to actual real people. Plus the whole acting as if it was real adds to the gag. I really wish people like you Evan would would stop breaking the fourth wall here and resist from pointing out it wasn’t a real evangelical site. Every time you do it takes quite a lot away from the comedy of it all.
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1:30 am
You also take away a lot of the fun of commenting every time you inform everyone it is a fake site. So stop it.
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2:46 am
Evan, what a little bitch man. When word gets out that you’re a snitch you’ll burn. Hope you feel good about ruining everyone’s fun day. GAG ON THIS EVEN!
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11:12 pm
You see even you’ve even got the pretend “evangelical Christians” telling you, explicitly, to stop pointing out the obvious falseness of the site now. Almost everyone on the site knows it is false. Do you go to http://www.theonion.com and say it is a fake site? That’s almost exactly what you’ve just done.
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11:12 pm
*Evan
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2:21 am
Actually that is a grave from the Victorian age when a fear of zombies and vampires was prevalent. The cage was intended to trap the undead just in case the corpse reanimated.
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4:51 pm
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1:12 pm
Skrillex is 24, and not dead, and has never been a vampire, and has never been a member of the Black Veil Brides
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7:32 pm
…..fai…..fail…..fail…..fail…..fail…..fail…..fail…..fail…..fail…..fail…..
Oh teach me your ways great Master Fail.
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7:33 pm
fail* I’m feeling some irony here….
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12:27 am
Happy to see God doing his great work, smiting down yet another emosexual. Praise Jesus!
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8:29 am
um bvb is actually really good , smashmouth on the other hand isent erich or whatever the frack your name is idgaf your half retarted arnt you?
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