SCIENCE: Smoking Pot Causes Testicular Cancer
Two of the Beastie Boys pose outside a hedge shop in Venice Beach, where it’s well known everyone tooks a hook of hookah! Well too bad, liberals, because pot smoke is causing testicular cancer and we prove it with SCIENCE.
For years I have warned everyone that pot is the most dangerous drug of all. It is a hallucinogen, it causes all the drug wars in Mexico and now we find that it poisons the body with cancer.
In 1981 I lived in Florida, enjoying my retirement and living out my golden years. I preached and oversaw a great church, so it was not uncommon for me to receive phone calls to bless people who were on their death bed.
One day I got a call from the University of Miami, sometime around September. They told me to disecretely come and give someone their final blessing before death. I obliged and was shocked to find the person seeking my blessing was none other than Bob Marley.
He was laying there, looking so sad in the face. I asked the doctors what got him and they told me, and these men were professionals, ‘marijuana causes ravaging cancer and he got it in the foot and his testicular region’.
I was not shocked! Their words only confirmed what my infallible faith had known since I heard of those hell damned beatnik commies doing the drug in the 1960s! With all their loud music, lack of showers, twitterpating and can0odling all hours of the night without remorse, I knew there was something even more deadly in their lifestyles. Maryjane!
Those doctors from Miami could never release the facts they knew, they explained to me, because too many of their funders and grants were pro-drug. They did not stand a chance of keeping a job if they reported the facts. But now, finally, the truth has been set free.
Scientists from the University of Southen California have discovered a link between recreational and second-hand marijuana smoke and testicular cancer. People who smoke these deadly drugs have a 80% greater chance of being rotted away by non-seminoma tumor before they reach 30. After 30, the risk increases up to 94%.
All these facts were published today in CANCER, the official peer-reviewed journal of the American Cancer Society.
“The group that is at risk for developing these tumors is overwhelmingly young men. They should be looking and paying attention to changes in their testicles anyway,” said Victoria Cortessis, one of the study’s authors and an assistant professor of preventive medicine at the Keck School of Medicine of USC in Los Angeles.
As such, it’s being recommended that anyone who has smoked the deadly drug to immediately tell their doctor and also their local law enforcement where they got it, so others aren’t afflicted. As Dr. Cortessis said, the fella’s Satan toking ”might be something they would want to mention to their usual health-care provider.”
Cortessis et. al analyzed the recreational drug use of 16,300 young men who had been diagnosed with testicular cancer. These young men were compared with 29,200 young men who don’t do stupid things like smoke weed or get drunk on the devil’s nectar. Analysis immediately revealed that men who smoke drugs are 51% more likely to get mixed-germ cell tumors, which include the deadly non-seminoma tumors.
Researchers speculate that marijuana smoke triggers the body’s endobannabinoid system, which is the body’s natural defense against any invasion of marijuana. The human body correctly recognizes hemp smoke as a deadly pathogen and does all it can to defend itself: it makes the smoker ridiculously hungry, so they will overeat, vomit and curl up in a ball. This will keep them from smoking more.
The body makes itself dizzy and loopy, so that hand-eye coordination will fail and the marijuana user cannot bring the parchment paper to his lips. But this is also why so many traffic accidents are caused by potted-up drivers.
The endocannabinoid system also ties to the cellular network that’s vital for the production of sperm. So for every one sperm the body produces, a week smoker’s chance of getting testicular cancer increases by 51%. The study was was funded by the National Cancer Institute.
Researchers have also sent a warning to the 17 states where medicinal marijuana is legal, making it clear: “The findings suggest that the potential cancer-causing effects of marijuana on testicular cells should be considered not only in personal decisions regarding recreational drug use, but also when marijuana and its derivatives are used for therapeutic purposes.”
The science here is pretty clear. If you do not want testicular cancer, do not smoke weed.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Reverend Clyde H. Higgins
You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.
1:56 pm
As a doctor, it always hurts my heart when I smell whiffs of maryjaned on the clothing of my patients. I know they are increasing their risk of death dramatically and wish I could just throw them into detox for it.
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6:02 pm
If you actually were a doctor, you’d have proof of that, but considering you’re just a shit-eating coward and liar, the proof is that you have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.
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3:18 pm
Weed can cause testicular cancer like alcohol can cause a cirrhosed liver, racing cars imminent death, cigarettes lung cancer and too much sarcasm bitterness among people.
It´s all possible, how about people in big cities stop breathing, who knows how many cancers exhaust fumes can cause.
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7:13 pm
and religion cause Brain cancer … your point is ?
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10:54 pm
If the reverend Clyde H. Higgins would please cite his sources it would be wonderful.otherwise he is plagiarizing others work which is a crime
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3:24 am
Marijuana is an herb created by god for the use of all mankind. Only a devil worshiper would bash marijuana. You people create hideous lies about marijuana and are a disgrace to Yahweh and his most holy word. You devil worshipers have an evil agenda. At first I thought this website was a joke. After seeing the evil engraved into the writing of this article I can only hope you people come to know Jesus. I will pray for you, and your non-marijuana smoking, evil, satanic, pagan agenda. God Bless
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1:18 pm
9/11
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3:45 pm
Then why did your god create it with out saying it’s bad in the bible?
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8:02 pm
This “Doctor” is a complete idiot, it sounds like more continuing propaganda by the idiots on the right. Millions of people smoke pot, and have been for thousands of years, there is no scientific proof of any such thing, then he goes on to say that pot smokers cause car accidents??? What! You’re an Idiot Higgins, and you get your info from the likes of “Reefer Madness”. When people get tested after a car accident, this idiot and people like him immediately blame it on pot, when, in reality, pot residue stay in your body fat for about 30 days after smoking it, so if you get tested within 30 days after smoking, it will show up, but your not high, its just residue, but only intelligent people know this. Like the old saying goes, if you want to know about pot, talk to a pot smoker, not idiots that don’t have a clue!
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8:32 am
Pretty sure this is a joke web site… And if these people are serious…then I’m pretty sure this a joke web site
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8:41 am
Bob markey was a rasta so there is no way he would ask for a Christan mister to come to his death bed with ho’s great faith in jah, his belief was so great he denied surgery on his foot because jah dose not allow it. And for you to preach you seen that great man, the legend is just as pathetic as your hypocritical faith, a man who is truly influence by Christ would not make such blatant lies. You sir are a joke. And if you actually believe in the moraltys of heaven and hell, I bet you have a good idea of where your headed. With such ignorance
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10:01 am
I am 56.I have been smoking pot since I was 17.My balls are just fine.No ED or anything.several women I know can attest to this.
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5:40 am
“For years I have warned everyone that pot is the most dangerous drug of all.”
Never was and never will be.
Can you backup your your story with some actual proof?
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2:37 pm
The people who made this website are in my opinion, a bunch of idiots who actually believe that a man is someday going to ressurect himself and lead our souls to heaven. By the time that little Fuck decides to come back. our race wont even exist anymore. why? because Jesus really didn’t have any power. His father is fake and if you seriously believe in him I pray that you die. I myself am non religious. I do not believe in anything other than the cold hard facts that life is hard. No i am not an athiest because i don’t like being labeled as something i’m not. But thats off the topic.
Do you really think marijhuana causes Testicular cancer? If you do you obviously never have smoked it before. Because if you had 1) you wouldnt be a jesus loving freak and 2) you would know that the only effects Weed has on your body, Is the effect of stimulated brain activity. Studies and I mean “actual logical studies” have shown that no one has gotten lung cancer from weed. as many people believe it causes. Not one confirmed death has ever been linked directly to weed. and that yes. it does stimulate your mind.
Whoever wrote this article is in fact. A Bigoted idiot who think’s they know something. that is all. Now you happy go lucky christians or whomever you are that believes in this crap can kneel down before me and do as those gay men you hate so much do. suck. my. cock.
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