• Barack Obama Creates First Virus For Windows 8

    October 26, 2012 11:29 am 22 comments

     Washington, DC – Pinko commie Barack Hussein Obama is the most anti-capitalistic president in the history of the United States of America.

    With programs like ObamaCare and screw the rich to feed the poor, this Russia red operative is a danger that the angel of our blessed Senator Joseph McCarthy is telling us to vote out of office with every heavenly chorus he sings from up above.

    But if there is to be any sign of Obama’s dislike for strong American business, today all we have to do is look at what him and his little Apple ‘fanboy’ buddies have been up to.

    Bill Gates, one of the greatest Christian men of all time, released Windows 8 today, to ensure our computers are all upgraded with awesome software that will allow us to better celebrate Mitt Romney’s election to president in just 9 more days.  Bill Gates is also giving as an ‘excuse’ to…’upgrade’…the software being used by voting machines in Ohio and other swing states, so we can make sure those ‘load balancer’ softwares are in place and that this election will be fair and balanced.

    Obama just hates all of this so from his war room, gathered a bunch of Apple iPhone, Steve Jobs in a black turtleneck in a poster of your bed having socialists and they worked night and day to create a virus that causes all sorts of weird problems to Windows 8.

    The infection is called the “Windows 8 Apple Virus”.  What it does is make your PC act just like an Apple.  When you try to watch YouTube or install a new video game, it will simply crash and say it is not compatible.  You will lose the ability to watch YouTube or run any rich applet on your computer, unless it uses the defunct QuickTime or iTunes.   It will make your computer automatically have stored images from Brazze Dazzlers and Jasmine Live!, sicko flesh sites!  Tell your wife you weren’t looking, the sites came and tried to seduce you! Frustrated by this illogical software, PC users will become frustrated, suffer high blood pressure and may be just too ill to go out and vote for Mitt Romney.  Obama knows that since 95% of American households own a PC computer (coincidentally, the same amount of households mark “Christian” as their faith), his little plot to make us all frustrated and angry should work.

    As for me, me and mine are safe.  I’ve long worried that Obama would engineer some sort of high-tech shenanigans like this and therefore use Windows 3.1 and use the internet through my 400 baud Hayes micromodem.  Sure, it takes me a while to get everything up and sometimes I have to make an errand boy upload it from his little computer notary book for laps, but it’s worth it!  It keeps Obama’s pinko schemes out of my electronic files and it has to stay safe like that until we have a good man like Mitt Romney running the show.

    To avoid getting this sickness on your PC, please make sure to not read any articles about Barack Obama and especially do not visit the following websites before the election:  HuffingtonPost.com, Truthout.org, especially in the article where they ‘reveal’ how Tagg Romney bought Hart Intercivic and other companies so we could…balance…any unfavorable election results.  Please make sure to visit FoxNews.com, Drudgereport.com and all those great family-values sites, as they will provide the best up-to-date election coverage and you can still find out exactly what Obama is up to without putting you and your family at risk.

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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