BREAKING! Nintendo Produces Pokemon-Catching Camera Device For Wii U
My Most Loyal Comrades:
This is the last straw for me regarding pokemon creator, Satoshi Tajiri, and Nintendo Studios teaming up together to brainwash our children! They’ve crossed the line with the pokemon creatures. Earlier this afternoon, Nintendo Studios revealed that in addition to the new Wii U device coming out on November, 18th, 2012, that they were max producing a game called, ‘Pokemon Snap U’. Nintendo had a previous version of this game for the earlier model of the Wii called, ‘ Pokemon Snap’. My research tells me that the graphics for the game are almost unreal and that the pokemon monsters are as life-like as the children would like them to be!
Screen shop from Pokemon Snap U for the new Wii U
Nintendo Studios and pokemon creator, Satoshi Tajiri, have been working since the summer of 2010 to produce these very graphics that you see here. Mr. Tajiri also recruited a small handful of communist scientists to perfect the life-like effect on our young children and teen’s eyes. Though the graphics are remarkable, there are flaws such as summoning legendary pokemon such as the newly released pokemon, Keldeo. Those details have yet to be released to the public. The original graphics were a lot more “sketchy”. These can be seen below:
The Original Graphics, ‘Pokemon Snap U’ for the new Wii U
This team of trouble is also planning to release yet another pokemon game for the new Wii U called, ‘Pokemon Universe’. This game is much like the other harmful pokemon games with the exception of a new storyline and of course new graphics. My research of this pokemon game led me to a few new pokemon added to the roster of the already existing 700+ pokemon. In this game, the player gets to choose the gender of the character, which is a new feature of the pokemon games. This allows the homogay to pick the gender of female instead of male for more of a “pleasurable” experience for it.
Pokemon Universe Game for the new Wii U
I leave you to protect your children and teens from the slobbering, hungry, mouth of the gaming industry and their horrible devices that entice our children and teens. Do the right thing and don’t fund them! God Bless
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Sandra O'connor
8:18 pm
“My research tells me that the graphics for the game are almost unreal and that the pokemon monsters are as life-like as the children would like them to be!”
So you basically looked at some images of a game that isn’t real and smashed your head against a table until you started bleeding from your forehead.
Because not one thing you said here was correct.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
8:38 pm
HOLY SHIT, when will you stop bitching about pokemon and realize that no one cares?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
11:14 pm
I care, FunkyRobot, I care. Looks like your childish theory has been smashed into oblivion.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
1
11:17 pm
Like FunkyRobot said, no one cares. Guess what that makes you (or do you need someone to spell it out for you)?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:57 pm
Like Erich said, some people care. Guess what that makes you?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
12:42 am
Far more intelligent than Erich, and you for that matter.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
2:53 am
Laughing out loud! The lack of self-awareness is strong in this one!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
1:46 pm
How is ‘laughing out loud’ a complete sentence? Damned fool.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:04 am
Ya the dumb and stupid need something to complain about or else they would go out into the world and live and we can’t have that now can we.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:45 am
KBLME, in LN’s case that is probably true.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:58 pm
I heard that this game is called “Pokemon Snap” because when your pet loses a fight you simply snap its neck so you don’t have to keep feeding it. Just like in real cockfighting.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
4:01 am
The original Pokemon Snap was on the N64… And it was an “on-the-rails” Pokemon picture taking game… Never in any Pokemon game have you actually killed a Pokemon…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:21 am
so exbrony I heard you Like COCK fighting ?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:45 am
Is that a homophobic slur, Millenium?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:55 pm
And you’d care why? You’re apart of a cult that wants to kill homosexuals, I’m surprised you aren’t jumping for joy that someone made a comment that could be taken as homophobic.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
3:03 am
LN, not at all. I am part of no cult, and I have no problems whatsoever with homosexual people. Go spray your bile at someone else.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:25 am
Sure you aren’t and sure you don’t, you just think they’re a plague and should be dealt with and that it’s a bad thing, and you CERTAINLY don’t defend a bunch of insane, egotistical bastards that wish for the death of innocents.
Keep telling yourself that, maybe one day, I’ll believe it!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:35 am
LN, you are sick. I have never thought of homosexual people as “a plague” who should be “dealt with” with anything other than respect and equal rights. Ditto for bisexual, transgendered and intersex persons.
What the hell is your problem?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:57 pm
No you said it yourself You love cock fighting I prefer vagina fighting
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:03 am
I never said I like cockfighting. You do understand that a cockfight is a fight between roosters, right? The animals? Le coq? A chicken?
How does one “fight” a vagina? Are you talking about assaulting women?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:28 am
Ex-brony your wrong on the whole neck snapping thing in Pokémon. The snap is from the snapping noise of the shutter on a camera. But the cock fighting neck snapping is right.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:53 am
So all the neck-snapping in Pokemon happens off-camera? OK.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
3:19 am
No there is zero neck snapping. The only snapping is of pictures from a camera
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:46 am
So how do they put down the Pokemon that are bad at fighting?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:07 am
You don’t put down Pokemon… If they’re bad at fighting you just train them or release them back into the wild…As I said somewhere else in this comment section, You don’t kill any Pokemon…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:06 am
Ah, OK. Gotta keep the PG rating, I guess. But I still think it’s sick to make animals fight until they “faint”.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:11 am
True… But we’re talking about a universe with advanced technology that can heal all wounds instantly… It’s not like they just stay injured all the time
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:54 pm
Maybe not, but they still endure pain and fear. Not nice.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:09 am
Well, yes, but you also have to take into account the fact the pokemon trainers never actually force their pokemon to do anything. Even Team Rocket’s pretty nice to their pokemon.Pokemon can also compete in non violent competitions.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:13 am
They’re a bunch of 1′s and 0′s, you ignorant Pony Lover. The concept may be terrible, but at no point would any sane person ever think ‘hey, if this digital rat can shoot lightning from it’s body, then maybe I can teach my dog how to breath fire’ and decided to pit their pets against each other.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
10:42 am
LN, you’re completely right. And extreme pornography and snuff movies have no effect on children whatsoever.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:26 pm
So you’re comparing a video game that’s relatively safe, barring a couple bits of mythos that might spook a two year old, to hardcore porn and murder?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:40 am
What, did someone who made the Pokemon games kill your dog or something?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
2:54 am
Why would you even talk about killing dogs? That’s kind of creepy.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
5:08 am
YA you rather sleep with them.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
9:47 am
I’d rather do neither.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:58 pm
You think Pokemon teaches kids to snap the necks of their pets, who’s the creepy one now?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:15 am
You think I have sex with horses. Who’s the creepy one now?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:58 pm
You’re the one who feels the need to let people know you used to be a brony, even though no one asked nor do we care, and you still have a character from that show as your avatar which means you still feel some connection to the show. You’re the same as these hypocritical christians, you deny being one thing, when the reality is you’re so heavy into it, you can’t stand the idea of anyone else finding out.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
8:57 pm
Laughing out loud!
Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that I indeed am 1) “heavily into” My Little Pony; and 2) afraid that people will find out, why would I have a pony as my avatar?
Your brain seems to work about as well as that new Apple map app.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:59 pm
For the same reason christians hate homosexuality and yet are gay themselves, self-hatred.
And in what language is ‘laughing out loud’ considered a proper sentence?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:01 am
Well, LN, you certainly have an active imagination.
“Laughing out loud” is a perfectly good sentence in English:
“What were you doing while reading LN’s comments?”
“Laughing out loud!”
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:15 am
You’re the one that thinks people snap the necks of non-existent creatures.
And that’s still an incomplete sentence, though, I guess being a hypocrite and all, you wouldn’t give a flying fuck about your own mistakes.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:07 pm
So when children bludgeon prostitutes to death with golf clubs in Grand Theft Auto that’s just a bunch of zeroes and ones?
Also, “Laughing out loud” is a complete sentence. But grammar is the least of the problems that you have with reality.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:18 pm
Yeah, all they’re doing is beating a bunch of 1′s and 0′s to a different set of 1′s and 0′s. Clearly you’re the madman if you think video games can control the minds of children, as well as insane if you don’t take issue with children playing an M rated games as a result of lackluster parenting.
“Also, “Laughing out loud” is a complete sentence. But grammar is the least of the problems that you have with reality.”
You seem to throw a bitch fit whenever you can whenever someone makes a grammatical error or typo, so keep on adding to that hypocrisy SJP.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:51 pm
“throw a bitch fit”
I thought that you had begun to eschew misogynist language. How wrong I was. Clearly, I thought far too much of you.
“Clearly you’re the madman if you think video games can control the minds of children”
I don’t think that games can control children’s minds, but they can desensitise them to violence and instil within them the kinds of misogynist attitudes that you don’t even recognise within yourself.
“insane if you don’t take issue with children playing an M rated games as a result of lackluster parenting”
Way to miss the point. I wasn’t talking about who was responsible for children playing violent games; I was talking about the effect of violent games on children.
And is that really how you spell “lacklustre” in America? That’s really quite sad. It’s also a poor choice of adjective for that sentence.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:08 pm
“I thought that you had begun to eschew misogynist language. How wrong I was. Clearly, I thought far too much of you.”
Like I said, you don’t actually care about sexism, you just want to feel better. Why haven’t you talked to Cultwire about it’s rampant sexism and the beliefs that it upholds wherein women are subservient to men and the only jobs they should have are either sex relief or secretary.
“I don’t think that games can control children’s minds, but they can desensitise them to violence and instil within them the kinds of misogynist attitudes that you don’t even recognise within yourself.”
No they can’t and no they don’t. Hell, you just pulled that ‘instill misogynist attitudes’ thing right out of your ass just now.
“Way to miss the point. I wasn’t talking about who was responsible for children playing violent games; I was talking about the effect of violent games on children.”
Which isn’t much, if anything at all. The IDEA is certainly there, but ask yourself this: if your theory was true, then why isn’t the entire world in flames right now? Violent games have been around for some time, the kids that played them when they first came out are now grown adults who are functioning members of society, and still play violent games.
“And is that really how you spell “lacklustre” in America? That’s really quite sad. It’s also a poor choice of adjective for that sentence.”
If you’re going to actually complain about grammar, you MIGHT want to have a point. Yes, jackass, that IS how it’s spelled AS WELL so do tell me how it’s ‘really quite sad’, and as far as the ‘poor choice’ bit goes, you’re showing how you’re running out of steam here. You might wanna leave now and TRY to save yourself SOME dignity.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:03 am
There’s no such games coming out as “Pokemon Snap U” or “Pokemon Universe”… Those are fan made images of Pokemon games fans want…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
5:45 am
“… to the roster of the already existing 700+ pokemon. ”
There are only 649 Pokemon…
” the player gets to choose the gender of the character, which is a new feature of the pokemon games. ”
You’ve been able to choose your character’s gender since Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire… Which came out back in 2003…
“Nintendo had a previous version of this game for the earlier model of the Wii called, ‘ Pokemon Snap’.”
There hasn’t been a new Pokemon Snap since the N64… Back in 1999…
Sandra….You seriously know nothing about Pokemon…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:01 pm
Hell, you’ve been able to choose the gender since 2001. What I love is how the Pony Rapist will completely believe everything Sandra says, and yet thinks anyone who says otherwise is fucking retarded.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:07 am
Wait, 2001? I thought the first game you could choose gender was Ruby/Sapphire which came out in 2003… Am I missing a game?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:52 pm
The second generation when they came out with Crystal, they made a huge deal over a feature that they actually wanted to implement since day 1 with the series but couldn’t due to memory constraints.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:46 pm
You could switch genders in Crystal? I actually wouldn’t know… I never had Crystal…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:44 pm
Yep. They marketed the crap out of the fact that you could pick a girl in that one. They then later said that they always wanted to have pickable genders, but they couldn’t due to some technological aspect of the games.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:52 am
Jiminy Cricket, LN! This might have been the first time that I’ve ever seen you been right about anything.
I have no clue whether you were actually right; you might have been as far out in orbit of La La Land as you usually are. Either way, I couldn’t give a frog’s fat arse about Pokemon.
But did you notice the way that Ouro responded to your assertions? He admitted that he might be wrong and he asked you for more information.
You could learn a lot from that. But I expect that you won’t.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:54 am
* be right
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:18 pm
Ouro also knows how to treat people like humans and has actual empathy compared to people like you who actually don’t care about any of the issues you’re fighting for, you just want to feel better than other people.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:37 pm
Why would I fight for something I don’t care about?
Also, what on Earth possessed you to try to become some kind of grammar fascist when you suck at grammar yourself?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:48 pm
“Why would I fight for something I don’t care about?”
To make yourself feel better, we’ve been over this before, do try and keep up. You complain about people using the word ‘bitch’, but you hardly, if ever, complain about Cultwire insulting women and their beliefs that they are less than men. You complain about Pokemon and video games in general (based on your GTA comment) doing damage to children, but you don’t care that the book that these people hold so high demands the death of people for the slightest infraction. You will complain about people being racist, but not complain about the people who actually are racist.
You pick such meaningless, insignificant fights just to trick yourself into believing that you’re fighting for a greater cause when you haven’t stepped foot onto that battlefield and you dare not to.
“Also, what on Earth possessed you to try to become some kind of grammar fascist when you suck at grammar yourself?”
You’re the one that likes to intervene and point out grammatical errors, so you have no ground to be calling me a grammar ‘fascist’
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
5:07 am
plz go back to 1999 and stay there so we can go on and not see your gay faces. And pony lover probably loves this game I mean I hear the heshe watches pony porn all the time now you can take it on the go.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:27 am
KBMLE, you appear to have homophobic tendencies which seems to be at odds with the concept of liberal tolerance that I hear the left spew.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:05 am
Quite, Cornelius. What is with all the homophobic language from the ESL crew in this thread?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:54 pm
Again, I don’t know why conservatives care about that sort of thing, especially when you want to hunt and kill them like animals for sport.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:59 pm
Who are you talking about?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
3:14 am
Pokemon also has racist content.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jynx#Controversy_and_reception
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:09 am
But they owned up to their mistake and that’s why all Jynx have purple faces now instead of the original black… That’s really old…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:03 am
As a black person, I believe that the Jynx controversy was extremely stupid and immature.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:58 pm
As a black person, you certainly don’t speak for all black people. You also thing the N-word has nothing to do with the word “negro”. Educate yourself.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
11:00 pm
You seem to think that all black people are represented by stereotypes, however, so hypocrite much?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:57 am
“You seem to think that all black people are represented by stereotypes.”
But I don’t. So … idiot much?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:58 am
LN, you don’t even try to engage with anything I say. You just make baseless accusations. It’s pathetic.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:17 am
“But I don’t. So … idiot much?”
So then where are you every single time Adam and the rest of these bastards say ‘black people are violent, lazy, and eat nothing but fried chicken and watermelon’? You seem to want to get the ‘truth’ out so very much, and yet you only ever target those that know better.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
11:03 pm
But it doesn’t. Nigger was also used for the Irish. In fact, it was only used for the Irish at first. Nigger and negro may look and sound similar, but do not have a correlation.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:56 am
Dragonman, seriously. Google the word + “etymology”.
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=nigger
One reference out of thousands.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:26 pm
I understand what the word etymology means, Jesus. Thank you for providing a source, I’ll take what you said as valid proof.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
7:49 pm
You’re welcome.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:00 pm
Just reading your reply again, I wasn’t insinuating that you didn’t know what etymology is.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:07 pm
That awkward moment where exbrony still uses wikipedia… Use an actual website where 5 year olds can’t add information about the subject in question please =)
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:01 pm
It’s not infallible, no, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good resource. You got better evidence that contradicts what I say? Post it.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:02 pm
Also, you might not be aware that Wikipedia articles tend to be well footnoted, so you can always click to footnotes to see the original sources. Dimwit.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:02 pm
So basically, the Pony Rapist says it’s ok to use Wikipedia, and yet the rest of Cultwire says it’s not considered good enough for any amount of evidence.
Fucker, do you ever take a look at your surroundings, or do you just latch onto the people who give you the most minute amount of praise and pray that they’ll give you more?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
2:55 am
Not a pony rapist, despite your persistent fantasy. Like I said, if you’re in doubt about anything on Wikipedia, look at the footnotes.
It’s simple stuff, LN.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:29 pm
You missed the point of what L.N is attempting to say. Wikipedia is disapproved but most, if not all, of Christwire’s members, yet you continue to use it. Also, if memory serves me right, you said yourself that Wikipedia is liberal lies and that you should use Conservapedia. Isn’t that strange?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:58 pm
Hi Dragonman. LN deliberately confuses me with every other persona he hates here.
What do you mean “Wikipedia is disapproved”? Disapproved by whom? It’s not infallible, but it’s an excellent starting point. Like I keep saying, the footnotes link to the original sources of the information, so you can click through and see if those sources are reliable.
If I said Conservapedia was good I was being tongue-in-cheek. Conservapedia is a nest of dumbness approaching the density of a neutron star, but it’s good for a laugh.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:38 pm
“Hi Dragonman. LN deliberately confuses me with every other persona he hates here.”
So you don’t think Fig Newton, Abe the Shit Head, and the rest of the Cultwire Crew are real?
“What do you mean “Wikipedia is disapproved”?”
Do you need to know the definition of ‘disapproved’?
“Disapproved by whom?”
Obviously you missed where Dragonman said by “most, if not all, of Christwire’s members”.
“If I said Conservapedia was good I was being tongue-in-cheek. Conservapedia is a nest of dumbness approaching the density of a neutron star, but it’s good for a laugh.”
Yet it’s as if the writers of Conservapedia and Christwire are the same, and you’ll defend Christwire tooth and nail from ever having to admit the truth.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:19 pm
This isn’t a 6th grade English essay. it’s perfectly acceptable to use Wikipedia as a source in a casual internet argument.
Do you even know the checks and balances they put to prevent vandalism?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:38 am
Ex-A, have you ever seen LN link to a source of any kind to support his “arguments”? Epistemology is not his strong point.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:23 pm
Just picked up Pokemon White V2… Time to restake my claim as POKEMON MASTER!!!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:00 pm
Make ‘em fight tooth and claw until they, er, faint!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:49 pm
So how’s it going, Social Justice Pony Boy?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:35 am
Social justice is a bad thing now?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:27 pm
It’s a joke considering how people like you don’t care about actual justice, you just want to feel better about yourselves.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:21 am
Holy hell, has anyone seen the Flash game PETA made to try and make Pokemon look bad (Keyword is “try”)… That game is such a failure that it’s hilarious!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:34 am
No, but Pokemon looks bad to me anyway. Try to focus on the message, not the medium.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:31 am
But the message PETA is trying to portray with their crappy game is that Pokemon are tortured by their trainers… Which isn’t even correct… PETA failed again…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
10:15 am
Uh… being forced to fight other animals isn’t torture? Tell that to the cops who bust up pit-bull fights.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:18 am
Oh, and a lot of the torture comes during the “training”. That’s an important point often forgotten.
Fido gets tortured for months before he gets the chance to have his face ripped off in the ring.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
10:37 am
It’s cute how you’re defending fictional creatures
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:32 pm
Again, you’re comparing two things that are completely different. In the world of Pokemon, the idea is you form bonds with the creatures, and while battling IS part of the world, the creatures themselves are also rather sentient beings with more than just fighting as apart of the world. I’m fairly certain a phoenix or a giant dragon that can fly at Mach 2 would abandon their trainer if they were abused in real life.
The way YOU talk, you’re basically a fucking idiot that’s comparing a cruel action of actual animal fighting involving real animals to virtual creatures that don’t actually exist. You’re fighting for the ‘rights’ of an entire species that is made up and only accessible through cartoons, comics, or video games.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:56 pm
No.You’re just too stupid to see that “entertainment” influences people’s attitudes.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:09 pm
Considering how you’re sitting there and trying to tell me that Pokemon is about snapping necks and that children will go on to grow up and participate in cockfights, you can’t call ANYONE stupid.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:59 pm
If someone plays Pokemon then goes “Wow, I should make real animals fight! That’d be awesome!” it isn’t the game’s fault… That person is just messed up in the head
Video games don’t influence people as much as people like you think they do
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
9:29 pm
Video games taught me accounting and split second critical thinking
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:54 pm
http://fauxaskpdp.tumblr.com/post/33054740136/5
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:03 pm
Your kidding right? All those pictures are concept from independent artists… And a picture of 2 toys in the grass that some kids photo shopped. How is it being on the lower end of the education spectrum?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0