ChrisTwire’s Christian Review of Minecraft… “Its Daunte’s Ninth Circle of Hell!”
WARNING! EXPLICIT UNCENSORED XXX PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE!
“If your son or daughter knows how to successfully hack into Minecraft’s explicit pornographic content, then they’ve already descended down the evil path into Daunte’s Ninth Circle of Hell.”
By Rev. Billy Ray Sunday
<chrisTwire> ChrisTwire received an email from Jennifer in Flagstaff, AZ, requesting our publication do a thorough assessment and written review on the wildly popular game Minecraft. As one of the most prominent conservative Christian publications in the United States we will sometimes write reviews on extremely popular and trendy TV shows, movies, books, games and so on. Jennifer wrote… “I can’t find any Christian reviews or much more information such as the age level for this game, can you help?”
For Jennifer and the rest of the chrisTwire flock who seek only to know the Lord’s truths, yes I am honored to do this review at the behest of my editor. So let’s cut to the chase here. Over the past two weeks I’ve been researching the game Minecraft and digging up the dirt on the deviants behind it.
Minecraft was designed by renowned Swedish pagan idol worshipper and programmer Markus “Notch” Persson, and developed by his company, Mojang. As I suspected the word “Mojang” in the ancient dead language of Aramaic, from the time of Christ translates to “whore of the devil.”
Jennifer to answer your question; you can download the original 2009 “Vanilla Version” of Minecraft here: https://minecraft.net/download. This version and its updates are family friendly and safe for children.
Now if you’re buying new or running Minecraft Hardcore and later versions since 2011 then you or your child has already downloaded Minecraft’s adult content to your hard drive. To access this pornographic content you must first find a secret door and enter the correct “hack code…” and your in. These later versions are call the “Black Versions,” by high school hipsters and meth addicted gamers.
Screen Shot of 16 Year-Old Hacker Logging On to Minecraft’s XXX Platform
Of course the general public only sees the Vanilla Version of this dangerous and seductive game. The only way to access Black content is to know the location of the correct hidden door and hack code to unlock it. And this information cannot be found by playing the game or anywhere in the game itself.
Heed my warning friends, if your kids don’t know how to access the explicit XXX-Rated content using keyloggers, “hacks” or “cracks,” (hacker slang for code) all they have to do is Google it. The only question really is how long after they start playing Minecraft will it be before someone lets the cat out of the bag?
The Dark Side of Minecraft
Both versions of Minecraft function as a sandbox building independent video game where the user can build their own home, community, cities and so on. And here in lies the problem. User-created digital environments contain whatever the creator wants to include in them.
Once inside this XXX-Rated format you’ll find a dangerous world of sodomites, NAMbLA members, child rapists & killers, convicts, pedophiles and sexual degenerates all of whom are their to stalk and groom children who visit these user-created environments. This is the dark side of Minecraft not seen by the typical family user and it is a virtual cornucopia of pornography, crime and violence.
Graphic Images of Genitalia and Explicit Sex Acts Many Depicting Sick Fetishes Like Homosexuality are Easily Accessible by Children
Mostly I found the adult format to be an endless cesspool of graphic images of genitalia, nipples, bleached gay blowholes, bruised taint and man-ass, exposed female milk sacks, man-sack, diseased high-mileage vagina and all in a setting of the users particular sick-o fetish or fantasy.
All parents be forewarned! If your son or daughter knows how to successfully hack into Minecraft’s explicit pornographic content, then they’ve already descended down the evil path into Daunte’s Ninth Circle of Hell.
The creators of these obscene Minecraft environments will next open up teen fan based chat rooms, forums and black websites (owned and operated by the gay underground) to promote their hidden rape rooms and sex dungeons. Using a fake profile these perverts portray other “teens” (sometimes younger children) who act as “gatekeepers” and give out the locations of these secret doorways, hidden passages, underground chambers and the hack codes needed to unlock them.
Teens being curious by nature can then enter these user created environments of sin and sodomy thereby sowing the seeds of their own destruction. Kids can now experience orgy rooms such as one called the “Big Red Devil.”
The Scene From Minecraft’s “Fairy Mod” is Pure Smut
Another environment was “Fairy Mod,” where a male flasher exposes his erect sin-stick to a room full of winged fairies who in turn flash him their young unspoiled hairless cooters. There is the “Nude & Sex Mod,” where perhaps thousands of environments have been created for just about any sin, passion, desire or fetish anyone could think of.
One environment called “The Sex Dungeon” features a sadomasochistic torture dungeon depicting naked men and women performing grotesque and graphic sex acts. I observed one brutal rape scene, and sickening perversions like homosexuality and bestiality. One particular scene involved a woman performing oral sex on a man; when the man reaches climax he is seen ejaculating onto the woman’s face and hair. This is no material any child should be exposed too.
Bestiality is Just One of the Twisted Sex Acts Your Teens Are Exposed Too by The Gay Underground
These images are both explicit and graphic and leave nothing to the imagination. And sadly brave and virtuous Christian teens are tempted and lured into these sickening stench pits of sin & sodomy daily. Only in a world where unnatural perversions are encouraged, such as in Obama’s America today, do you see open acceptance of homosexuality, bestiality, orgies, sadomasochistic abuse and other twisted acts of perversion.
Such dangerous and risky exposure to this filth and deviations can often lead to tolerance, open mindedness and acceptance, none of which can be allowed in America as we Christians are forced to wage war daily against evil non-Christian influences as we work tirelessly to restore God in the White House, in our schools, our homes and in our communities.
Our church, the Rock of Ages Holiness Church of Signs Following in Forkland, Alabama is hosting a Minecraft Game Burning this Saturday evening. We will build a bon-fire and sing Christian hymns while burning every Minecraft game we can get our hands on. I hope you parents will pass the word to your neighbors and friends and help get this unholy smut out of the hands of innocent children.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Rev. Billy Ray
Rev. Billy Ray Sunday is 3rd generation preacher. He lives in Forkland, AL and is a journalist for chrisTwire.com.
9:44 pm
So christwire is turning into a porn site when they going to be asking for a credit card?
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9:50 pm
Christwire still has no clue about any video game I see…
The first pic has nothing to do with hacking… It’s just a text box containing normal game stuff…
The second image (Under “Dark Side of Minecraft”) isn’t even from Minecraft… It’s from like “Blox” or something like that…
The next image is fan art and has no bearing or influence on the actual game…
The last image is a joke… Also with no influence on the game…
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12:44 am
@OddAtheist… I picked those screen shots myself from the Black platform on Minecraft. Just because you’ve never been their and don’t recognize these images doesn’t mean they don’t exists. Talk about arrogant and hopelessly wrong. You should go back to reading your true-life lil pink pony sagas. Leave real life to the big boys honey…
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12:52 am
You don’t have a grasp on the English language, let alone the ability to do ANYTHING on Minecraft, and why did you call him ‘honey’ if you’re so opposed to anything homosexual?
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1:09 am
So you play minecaft? Guess you ran out of little boy’s to play.
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5:06 am
Ha, took the screenshots yourself? What a joke… Take it from people (like me) who have actually played this game… Everything you’ve said is false and everyone knows it…
“Talk about arrogant and hopelessly wrong.”
^Pot, meet kettle…
(L.N.: to start off, good to see you again. I’m guessing he called me “honey” because he probably assumes I’m a girl from my MLP avatar… Like Christwire used to do…)
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10:27 am
Odd Atheist – I’m sorry about the “honey: thing I just assumed because of your pink avatar that you were a sissy little girl. Now I see your just a fag.
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10:53 am
And there you go, evading the facts, and instead insult him, you must be a real first class douchebag.
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12:15 pm
AND THERE WE HAVE IT FOLKS! The first Cultwire fuck to call someone a fag! It only took fucking forever, but now the bastards have officially reached a NEW low!
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3:33 am
i wouldnt call it a low becuase i infact smoke fags alot of the time and i burn faggots alot when its cold so you really cant say its all that low
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12:22 pm
Hmph, is “fag” truly the best you’ve got? You’re just a sad pathetic sack of flesh if you believe yourself higher than me with all the putrid lies you spew in the name of some mysterious deity.
I am neither a “sissy little girl” or a “fag”… I am a man who isn’t afraid to break the norm… Why don’t you step outside your box for a bit and experience true freedom
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12:29 pm
Because ‘Christians’ hate freedom and refuse to experience any kind of change. It’s why Cultwire hates people of different skin color, women, and homosexuals, they can’t understand why people are different from them and they hate it.
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8:26 pm
I love both white and Asian women, LN.
Your theory = destroyed.
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10:09 pm
If you consider Asian women to be nothing but whores, Pig, then no, my theory is still intact and all you did was reinforce it.
And let’s face it, you would go up to an Asian woman and ask her ‘how much dolla for sucky sucky?’ like the racist prick you are.
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11:10 pm
“…how much dolla for sucky sucky?”
LOL, do you really think that line will work? I’ll give it a shot next time I’m in K-Town.
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11:33 pm
Racist bastards like you are all the same, really. Just admit it, you think Asian women are nothing but a fetish and whenever you go up to one, you act like you’re ‘Mighty Whitey’ and think it doesn’t matter.
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1:56 pm
been “there” yeah come back about My poor english after that sucker
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10:49 pm
its a mod its called the pervert mod
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11:03 pm
……..you know… ugh…. i mean….. there is no way to make this “article” even more dumber than it already is.
1. The first picture is from the game, not hacking, it is just the text box, where you can chat with your friends.
2. The second image isn’t even from minecraft.
3. There is no such thing as an “fairy mod” neither “nude and sex mod”.
3. The third picture is fan-made, not from the game, from a pervert that seems to have some kind of minecraft sexual fantasies (i hate it when fans make porno pictures)
4. The fourth picture is again fan-made.
5. There is no such thing as an “sex dungeon”
6. STOP MAKING SHIT UP.
And, how do i know all these? because i have the game.
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12:58 am
@FunkyRobot, Like I said to Old Atheist… because you don’t know about MCs Black content doesn’t mean anything. I’m guessing 98% of consumers have never seen a Black Version. The sick twisted predatory gay underground is behind most of this.
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1:21 am
Except this supposed ‘black content’ doesn’t exist. At all. You’re an idiot who loves getting attention.
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6:25 am
LN, you have no idea what you’re talking about.
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6:26 am
Yikes! Auto-embed. Sorry, people! I am not very good at the internets. >.<
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10:32 am
OMG! exbrony I hadn’t seen that clip. Its awful, I’m eating my breakfast and threw it up. That’s one Hell of a brutal rape that is typical of Minecraft’s Black Versions. Thank you!
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10:42 am
Ok, old man i’m going to say it once, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BLACK VERSION, STOP MAKING SHIT UP.
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12:16 pm
So one video, uploaded by one person, about a game played by god knows how many in which you can do just about anything you want, somehow proves that the ENTIRE game and EVERYONE who plays it is like that.
Pony Rapist, why do you hate people?
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7:35 pm
my response to that
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9:14 pm
LN – If you say so. But at least I have a job, income and I get {$$paid$$} to get people’s attention. But above all else I have the love of Christ in my heart and you in my prayers. LN you remind me of that one really “special” kid who rode the short bus; you know the one… the one who thought he was cool because someone told him he’s a big-time ballin’ hip-hipster. And he was the exceptionally stupid one who believed it while droll escaped his lower lip and concentrated on his Mickey Mouse T-shirt.
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10:10 pm
So you love lying? You make money off of the lies you tell people? Not only that, but shouldn’t following Christ mean that you shouldn’t be flaunting about, well, ANYTHING at all?
And why did you just try to compare me to your high school days?
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11:07 pm
Not only that, you’re also making the wild assumption that I don’t have a job (since you feel the need to act like you have some form of superiority), and what about Cultwire being ‘non profit’ as was claimed several times in the past?
Just face it, you don’t give two shits about Christ or the concept of love or anything like that. Christ said to be humble, you have a superiority complex. Christ said to give, you’d steal in a heartbeat. Christ said to love thy neighbor, and YOU want to shove a gun down their throats and blast their innards everywhere. Hell, you don’t care about lying whatsoever, you even take PRIDE in it!
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4:14 pm
why do you feel the need to spread lies….? i mean really whats the point? ive been playing minecraft for about 2 years now and not once have i seen or heard about this nonsense. its just a game and most mods are just for fun. i see nothing wrong with this game. or the mods people put out.
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10:21 am
nice spelling… it’s ODD atheist not old, dumbass ps oddatheist, nice pic i salute ou for your bravery
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12:44 pm
FunkyRobot what do you mean by… 3. There is no such thing as an “fairy mod” neither “nude and sex mod”. The Nude & Sex Mod is one of the easy ones to find. Did you look or are you still trying to find it on the Vanilla Version where it does not exist?
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12:47 pm
1. You don’t know what an ampersand is?
2. Not one piece of content created by users can be called official whatsoever. If you’re finding these ‘sex mods’, then you’re actively looking for them, and showing us your rather retarded porn collection.
3. Do try speaking some actual English so that you can communicate better with others, Christard.
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12:27 am
“As I suspected the word “Mojang” in the ancient dead language of Aramaic, from the time of Christ translates to “whore of the devil.””
You suspect a lot of things, and yet you’re never right.
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6:22 am
This Minecraft game sounds a bit sick.
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12:09 pm
Well then, how about you do some actual research instead of relying on the words of a crazy bastard who wants to kill gay people?
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9:47 pm
i can think of a diffrent game with a more then this
this one
THE DEVIL OMG
see much worse then anything it that one
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9:48 pm
http://us.battle.net/wow/en/media/fanart/?keywords=&view#/fanart-0996
DEVIL LOOK WHAT I FOUND ITS YOUR PICTURE
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11:55 pm
When I finished reading this I snorted so loud I woke up my roommate and I made him read this and he laughed til he fell off the couch. Now we’re going to watch Rage Quit the Minecraft Edition thank you for reminding me that I have not seen those in awhile.
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11:31 pm
Hey CD – You get it.
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8:10 am
This ‘man’ is a false prophet and should be treated as one. He typifies all that is wrong with our great religion, spouting his lies and hateful bile. He’s the sort of person we could do without in the church of our lord. And don’t get me started on his use of the english language…
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11:20 pm
So…what is this again?
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8:31 pm
Minecraft is a game about placing pixelated blocks. What people put down is on them. Of course “Black MC” only appeals to a certain kind of pervert that does not exist. Most of the fan art and mods are meant to be humorus. I wish I had this game, but I play all night with my friend and we have never encountered ANY explicit parts.
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9:15 pm
Does anyone realize this is a satirical website? Are you guys really that stupid?
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1:52 pm
>:( Seriously?! Get a life, gramps! You have nothing to do with God, all you do is lie and post sick pictures. AND probably go on MC servers to lure 6-13 year old kids to your house!
Get a life, a job, a home, a friend, and start to REALLY read the bible! >:O Have a terrible day, !$%!#*&$%#
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11:38 pm
I have a black edition at home so don’t say they don’t exist. Also I could not find anywhere in the good Reverend’s article any claim that he made about this being “official” Minecraft development. Its not its user created using Minecraft’s platform. Anytime you create a platform for anyone to create in, people will create both good and bad. That’s all the reverend said. Stop putting words in people’s mouth. Just because you little amatures have no clue how to access black content is not the same as it not existing. Why would any man of God write an article about a game to lie about it?
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4:38 pm
So if you admit that this ‘black edition’ is fan-made content, then why is there so much s.hit being thrown at the creators of Minecraft and NOT the people who made the mods?
“Why would any man of God write an article about a game to lie about it?”
Because people like him and you are sick and hypocritical. The jackass wants to murder homosexuals, even stated so himself, why would any man of your (imaginary) god want to actively kill anyone?
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6:47 pm
“Why would any man of God write an article about a game to lie about it?”
Because every article about video games on this site is full of lies meant to stop people from playing games they don’t approve of… Which is like all of them… With exception on Battlefield 3…
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4:16 am
My Mistake, I just found a negative Update on this site: (2.10.2012): I have troubling news about Minecraft. The game has been hijacked! Notch, the man who created Minecraft single-handedly and whose vision of a game that teaches the Gospel to the unsaved in a non-threatening manner made it a cross-over hit, has been pushed out of control of Minecraft’s development by the people running Mojang, the company he formed with the profits from Minecraft. (Notch wasn’t the CEO of Mojang since he just wanted to work on making games. He hired someone to be his boss. Bad idea?)
The game’s now under the control of a guy named Jeb Bergensten. Since Jeb was hired last year by Notch to help out with development, he has been adding all sorts of questionable content, like occultic “enchantments” of weapons using the captured souls of demons, and drug labs that let you brew amphetamine-like drinks. Now he’s been put in charge of the game and Notch is no longer allowed to work on it.
The last thing that Notch added before he was removed from development was a final goal you had to work toward where you must travel to the End (ie. the End Times) and defeat the Dragon (ie. Satan, see Rev. 12-13). Could this less cryptic Biblical content have been the cause of his removal?
I don’t know what’s going on at Mojang. Has there been a coup? Is Notch OK? His Twitter account, which is probably under the control of Mojang, is filled with all sorts of strange messages that sound like the fake Notches mentioned above, with Atheist stuff and.. weird math or something. Did anti-Christians realize the threat that Minecraft posed to their hold on the mainstream game industry and seize control to pervert the true meaning of Minecraft?
If anyone can contact Notch, the real Notch, please find out what is going on.. and please pray that he is OK!
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12:48 pm
No BTW Jeb updated minecraft and added the end. Not Notch.
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1:17 am
Ok, one, Notch wasn’t kicked off, he stepped down and handed Minecraft over to Jeb so he (Notch) could have more time to work on his other games. Two, never has Notch or the Minecraft team ever try to mix religion into the game, the relations you are making are a result of wishful thinking (much like the rest of your church). Three, you are correct on Notch founding Mojang, but he did not hire anyone to boss him, he is the chairman of the board. Four, the enchantments you can put on you weapons and armor really have nothing to do with black magic and are just a way to make them stronger/more efficient/ have special abilities. And lastly, the Ender Dragon was a way to give the game an end, so players would have an actual goal to complete, and again have nothing to do with religion. Marcus is a atheist, deal with it, as a matter of fact, so am I. Not everyone is going to share your sick and twisted views, so if you want to discus, you can PM me later, so we can talk.
Hugs and Kisses,
TotallyAGayBrony
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