My most loyal friends,
I bring you some shocking news from the world around us and even the moon. Recently NASA Scientists have found, using their Hubble Telescope, a particularly interesting crater. The crater is described as the ‘Cookie Monster Crater’. This is rightfully so. The image is uncanny to the PBS cookie loving muppet creature from the children’s show, Sesame Street. Some news reporters and scientists believe that PBS has purposely put the crater there to mock the best possible candidate for the presidential slot coming up this November. This is currently under investigation.
The Cookie Monster Crater is an astounding find, yes. This might appeal to those with an artful eye or who wish upon fairies to take them away to the homogay habitat of their dreams, but to those of us with some truth and logical being, we have to ask ourselves, “How does this help us discover other planets? or How does this help with our economy state right now?” The truth is, it doesn’t. This is one of those things that gets in the way of real life issues such as letting Obama win the election and having his wife, Michelle run the country for him while he is getting his winkey waxed backstage somewhere. These are real issues we have to deal with, ladies and gentlemen.
The image of the crater is very close to the muppet creature on Sesame Street. Mitt Romney is very obviously being mocked here. I firmly believe that this is a conspiracy formed under the Sesame Street Head, Big Bird. This of course is also under a strong investigation by PBS itself and the corporations that fund it. I do caution those of you who do allow your children to watch Sesame Street to take on some facts:
CAUTION: THESE FACTS MAY BE SHOCKING TO THE AVERAGE HOUSEWIFE AND HER YOUNG. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED:
FACT: Did you know that the giant mammoth muppet, ‘Snufflupagous’, was only an imaginary friend to Big Bird? With that being said, this means Big Bird has been doing drugs for a long time to have those kind of effects and long-term brain damage, which in turn could lead to the Bird Flu?
FACT: A study has shown that 90% of children that watched the episodes with the ‘cookie monster’ in it were later diagnosed with types A and B Diabetes! The ‘cookie monster’ has led many of our children to an awful lot of hospital visits and even death in some cases.
Think about these facts the next time you look up at the moon to show your children their favorite muppet creature, ‘Cookie Monster’ in the crater.