Miracle: God Breaks Derek Jeter’s Ankle To Give Detroit Tigers Victory
New York, New York - Citizens of New York, tremble before the power of God! In the image above, you can see your precious pretty boy and Captain Derek Jeter flails and falls before the might of the Archangel Michael.
Derek Jeter may be toned and powerful beyond the means of a normal man, but look here and you can see he’s no match for the power of God. The torment and anguish upon his face is one of realization: he comes from a city of sin and now is being punished.
God does not approve of the Sodomy Megalopolis your city has become, you burrough dwelling slicksters. With all your tax breaks and posh apartments in the sky, it can seem you’re above the law and edict that stems from the heartland of America, or what you so preciously call ‘fly over country’. But God has given a Midwest values, hardworking city of Detroit favor and you can see they lead you now 3 - 0 in the championship series.
Sure, Detroit is not a perfect city. Their mayors are always corrupt and GM is owned by Obama! But when compared to a team that destroys sportsmanship by buying up all the good players from my favorite city and others, using all their New Yorker Monopoly Money, it can’t help but make God and the rest of us a little frustrated. How rational is it to have Derek Jeter, A-Rod, Ibanez and Ichiro on the same roster!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Reverend Clyde H. Higgins
You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.
11:02 am
So, what you are basically saying is that god is a cheater.
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11:06 am
No, God is not a Jeter.
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1:47 pm
No, FunkyRobot had a point, your Devil in Disguise is a no-good, low-life, cheating son-of-a-bitch. That, and just plain evil if he’s going to break someone’s ankle over a fucking game.
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9:11 pm
Watch your language, miss. I’m just saying the New York Yankees are a bunch of cheaters. It’s like trying to take pride by beating Madden, when you have a hacked team full of 99 rating guys. Yankees aren’t even competing, they are just using their fat New York market to buy up all the good players and cheat themselves victory. It’s great to see God intervene and break their best player to prove the point.
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9:43 pm
hey some of us like the yankees and cheating THEY HAVE MORE FREAKING WORLD SERIES WIN THEN ANY TEAM
baseball started in new york btw if he did not like new york he hates baseball and yeah your god is a cheater breaking a ankle because he wanted detroit to win how about winning by skill like most teams have but instead your god thinks the yankees are sodomites(which you describe as gay which really just mean butt fucking) and really all of this your calling him a cheater which is a outside source that does something bad to the team and makes their team win thats a cheater in baseball and thats what god did that is what the devil would do AND STOP STEREOTYPING SATANICS I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS ONE HE IS NOT WHAT YOU SAY satanism is bassically a satan version of christianity meaning they do a weird praying have not done human sacrfices since the renisance and as well you stereotype the muslims its not all about war
I WIN HEAR LISTIN NOWHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY THAT WOMEN SHOULD NOT LAY WITH A WOMEN MEANING LESBIANS ARE NOT CONDEMNED LOOPHOLE IN THE BIBLE
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6:06 am
That was interesting, Jesse. I do hope that you stick around and share more of your insights and experiences with the site.
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2:19 pm
oh sorry exborny im a taoist the change in my mood through out my post is a case of being bipolar sorry about all that i do like the yankees but have not really payed enough attenion to baseball latley to care becuase tv has just gotten so horrible and all the attenionwhoring is just outa control so i stopped watching tv and just watched things online so i only watch what i wanna watch i do have to admit it is a tad cheating but then again derek i think you said he is gay he is bisexual a correction there nothing major but i dont really care for him he is so arrogant and thinks he can do all of this when he cant so nice of god to knock him down a few pegs an exbrony if you can what is your view on taoism and other athiestic religions
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2:33 pm
oh and jesse is my real name i am female i do share this thing witha brother of mine he is a satanic and likes to type in all caps now do not under any circumstances sterotype a stanic because he is not what you would sterotype him as he also has some weird case of terouttes so yeah i usally am more calm and collective while he likes to be a asshole online dont know why he says its a tad fun i ignore him he is nice offline though anyways i onyl have jesse cox because i a a fan of jesse cox this is jesse cox
woops thats crendor okay this is jesse
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7:03 am
THEY ONLY HAVE MORE WIN BECAUASE THEY CHEAT!
Did you not even read the article, buckaroo?
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11:28 am
You can’t prove they cheat, you just hate anything not associate with you, which will extend to racism, xenophobia, sexism, and so much more.
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2:11 pm
They cheat because they buy up all the good players, then pretend they are competing fairly.
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3:12 pm
How is that cheating?
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12:29 am
“Watch your language, miss.”
What woman was speaking? Clearly you’re a fucking idiot if you were talking to a man with the rest of your bullshit.
“It’s great to see God intervene and break their best player to prove the point.”
Or, ya know, cheat. Cheating is cheating, and cheating is wrong.
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6:09 am
“Cheating is cheating, and cheating is wrong.”
LN, are you saying that you never prayed for anything in your whole life? Praying is simply asking a god to cheat for you. That’s the very essence of religion.
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11:24 am
So you’re saying that Religion is wrong then.
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5:53 am
That’s one possible inference, but you’ll never know what I really think because you never ask.
You just try to tell me what I think. Usually, but not always, you are wrong.
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1:46 pm
Hey, you walk into it on your own, SJP. You don’t want to bother clarifying your statements, then I’ll be more than happy to do it for you, especially if it makes you look like a further jackass.
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2:37 pm
you are not wrong god cheats alot he cheats his sons death (bassically impossble) cheats out the british alot cheats otu africa every day cheats otu everyone in hati alot and cheats out the domincan republic from actually getting a permanent leader and making sure the japenese create something that makes me want to shoot myself for how stupid it is
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3:06 pm
Don’t know what ‘miss’ you’re talking about, Adam, and you have yet to prove how they’re cheating. What rules are they breaking?
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3:34 pm
Yes… Because some omnipotent being in the sky cares sooooo much about baseball…
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4:16 pm
Baseball (money) > starving kid’s (not money)
Ya sound about like a cult to me.
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1:13 am
Everyone knows God is a National League fan. The DH is a product of the devil.
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2:51 pm
THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT NUKE THEM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRbwHz5ie6w&feature=BFa&list=PLZkLvocNwoZ-OcR0CiBKc-4TKHeLUqqEw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5SZzFaAZyY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoDMPHR94yg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqswkv15VRw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Y9vLq0dt0&feature=related
SEE THIS IS WHY NECULAR WASTE IS VERY VERY VERY BAD IT MAKES THIS HAPPEN
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