• P-P-P-Paul Ryan Song by Douglas Widick and Anna Callegari

    October 2, 2012 8:21 pm 6 comments

    A great new song by some of our strapping, buxome Republican lads has get the internet excited. P-P-P-Paul Ryan is perfomed to the look and feel of 1950s Du-Wop, a singing style invented by young Christians in better times of this nation.

    Douglas Widick and Anna Callegari have really outdone themselves on this video. On Drudgereport.com, only minutes after this song was released, Mitt Romney instantly caught up to Obama in the polls. The nation is now split 47% to 47% and with this song playing through her head when she votes, you can bet your daughter will be voting for our bronzed, strong-armed P-90x vice president. Your son will vote for him too! This song is great fun for the family to enjoy.

    By Douglas Widick and Anna Callegari
    Lyrics:

    I ordinarily won’t vote for a guy on the right, but ‘cause of P90X, your ass is so tight.
    Your black coiffed hair, and rigid stare, make me wanna give you my underwear.
    You got hair like the fonzo, a nose like gonzo,
    I just wanna fall into your arms of bronze-ohhhh

    P-p-p-paul Ryan
    Hope you don’t think i’m pryin’
    P-p-p-paul Ryan
    I love you I ain’t lyin’
    and if anyone can switch me to the right with their body it’s you (youyouyouyou)

    It fills other liberals with vitriol, but we all know, every sperm has a soul
    I found this baby in the lost and found, maybe the mom should’ve got an ultrasound
    We can just make love you don’t even have to date me,
    treat me like medicare and eradicate me!
    I know I might not look like Ayn Rand, but can we still roll around in the sand?

    P-p-p-paul Ryan
    you know there’s no denyin’
    P-p-p-paul Ryan
    boy you got me cryin’
    and if anyone can tell me what to do with my body, it’s you (youyouyouyou)

    In college he drove the weinermobile, I dream I’m in the front seat copping a feel
    Of the real America, he’s a real protector, I wanna get all up in his private sector!
    If we lived together we’d have so many guns, keep the immigrants out, using them
    Make the income gap bigger and the poor stay poor, I had gay friends but…not anymore.

    P-p-p-paul Ryan
    your love has got me dyin’
    P-p-p-paul Ryan
    boy you got me sighin’
    and if anyone can tell me how to think with my brain, it’s you.

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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