Should My Child Use Reddit Or Will He Be Raped?

By Mark E. Figs

“Come sit next to me so I can have sex with your mouth, child — a subReddit.”

The days of Christian chat-forums are long past. No longer can followers of Christ get together and piece and discuss our favorite Bible verses or share our George W. Bush fan fiction. Now, the internet is dominated by pornographic havens like Reddit, where one in four users are potential rapists.

Let’s look at the facts. Reddit has “subReddits” (pages or forums dedicated to specific topics) that include: “JailBait” (underaged girls), “Anal Sex Gapes,” “Incest” and “BibleSex.”

Redditors take pride in the fact that they promote horrible pornographic practices and incest. Most Redditors are people who lack social skills and are devoid of any sense of morality. They choose to mock God, disobey his commandments, and “wack off” to their family members while they shower.

In fact, one of the “Terms of Agreement” to begin posting on Reddit includes users agreeing that they “Hope God is dead” and that they “are scumbags” who would “post pix of their sisters” in order for other Redditors to “wack it.”

Reddit encourages users to take photos of people in public, while they wear clothing specific to the twisted sexual fetish of the user’s choice.

Rain boots? There’s a Reddit for that.

Yoga pants? There’s a Reddit for that.

Girls in Taco Bell shirts? There’s a Reddit for that.

God Bless morally secular Gawker for leading the charge against these depraved sexual deviants. While I usually boycott such secular, liberal press, I do enjoy Jalopnik because I enjoy looking at pictures of cars.

The truth is, your child will be RAPED or subjected to photos of RAPE if he uses Reddit. Instead of allowing your child to wade feet first into a cesspool of sin and filth, perhaps you can direct them to the National Review, or Highlights Online?  Allowing your child to use Reddit will erode his sense of morality, and instill in them a desire to “wack off” to different things, including unmarried women and un-virgins.

Would you pick your child up from school and then drive him to the house of a child predator so that they me be “gangbanged” or “wacked off” on? Then why would you let them use Reddit? Do you HATE your child? Reddit is good for nothing but human sex trafficking and making nerdy virgins feel as if they aren’t alone in their messed-up sexual preferences. There is nothing healthy about “wacking off” to a girl in yoga pants, or a girl in a sports bra, or a sister, OR child.

It’s wrong and sinful and full of death. If your child uses Reddit, they will grow up to be a dirty sexual predator that will shame your family, and you should feel bad about that.

Gawker has cast the first stone in its war to dethrone the kings of child pornography. With its brave actions it has thrust a spear of fear deep into the heart of Reddit. Let the child molesters tremble. Let them face the Lord’s wrath.