• Vomiting Virus Outbreak Strikes Germany, Michelle Obama Schoolunches to Blame!

    October 2, 2012 1:16 pm 5 comments
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    A vomiting virus outbreak is taking place in Germany, where 96% of all school children have been rushed to the home and their doctors, vomiting after eating this Michelle Obama approved lunch of peas and carrots, corn, a Spammy’s cheese sandwich, rose petal applesauce and Zelda lon lon milk.  Each of these ingredients has been used to poison your children and now we see the Obama’s are on a global conquest to make all children sick.

    I sit back in my armchair and laugh at God’s irony: he put the “Germ” in “Germany” because they refused to heed my warning and let Michelle Obama spread her ‘healthy’ schoollunch boxes to their children.  How did those lunch boxes get over there in the first place? Obama ripped food out of your child’s mouth and shipped it to our World War II frenemy, but this time it looks like the karma angel got his revenge!

    [box_alert]Related: Moral Alert
    A new disease named ‘The Bieber Fever’ has hit Arizona and has called a great illness to fall upon college students. Vector 0 for this disease was Justin Bieber himself, who was allowed to perform and charm the underoos off all the college students who went to his concert and caught the vomiting disease from him. Now, Arizona State is the heaviest hit and over 4,000 students are missing classes today, with symptoms of vomiting and gonnalupus!
    Scared liberals report and film the outbreak of Bieber Fever when Justin vomits and shows signs of the disease at his own concert.[/box_alert]

    To any person with decency, the school lunch I have imaged above will shock your heart.  Where is the hearty cuts of mutton or beef bourguignon with American ketchup! (not that dainty, catsup)  Like a drunken Mark Waid on a rampage, Michelle Obama is slashing all decency out of what makes America and all our province countries great by forcing everyone to become a secret vegetarian?

    Have you noticed your son seems weak lately?  Maybe not throwing that little league baseball over 90 miles per hour, like this mighy, kobe steak eating team from Japan.  The 13-year-old pitcher Kotaro Kiyomiya is 6’3″ and 210 pounds of raw muscle.  His opponent, from Florida, was only 4’9″ and 72 pounds.  Look what happens!

    The Japanese students are full of raw power and ability because Japan turned down Michelle Obama’s invitation to receive from student lunches from our government.  Japan said they didn’t want America’ food stamps or vegan food.  And they benefited as they destroyed us all in the little league world series because these Michelle Obama lunches are making our children weak!

    So now, the once proud and strong German children are all sick.  When was the last time you knew the mighty Germans to produce anything sickly or weak?  Hitler doesn’t count!  He was already a vegetarian and you see how mind damaged and scrawny the delusional maniac was every day of his life.

    But look at good, healthy Germans.  Arnold Schwarzenegger, from the German state of Austria, so powerful.  So raw.  So full of manly energy and vitality that not even a Kennedy could satisfy!   The list goes on and on.  Just so you know if you haven’t been on sabattical, if you go to Germany every guy there looks like Schwarzeneggar, slobbering at the mouth because they are so brawny and beefy, like a Neanderthal just waiting to clobber a woman over the head.  And the woman are just as strong, if not twice as nasty!

    And before you say I’m taking this up, know that I served in World War II and am part of the greatest generation.  I fought the best that rotten Hitler had to throw at us out there and to think that in only a mere 80 years, the offspring of this nation is trying to survive off a lunch of faux-meat and veggies is insane.  If this were World War II, I’d escort Michelle Obama to the back of the White House myself and demand she be awarded a war medal for making our enemies weak!

    But sadly, this is modern times!  Michelle Obama sees herself as the Neferti of the Western World, the Cleopatra reborn and she is ruling over our children with this nasty lunch program.

    Lunch Item 1:  Spammy Bologna with government cheese sandwich

    Spam is a form of fake meat that was invented by rogue atheist hippie scientists during the late 1960s.  Those druggies used to always have the ‘munchers’ after smoking all their hoobah jookah, then had no money to buy any food!  So they invented a fake meat made of all the soybeans they were growing to make their druggies and called it ‘SPAM’ and it stands for Serving Proud Anti Meat.  Jimmy Carter caught wind of this during the 1970s and made it a covered food by government welfare.  He secretly wanted all welfare children to become addicted to vegan fake meat.  Now, Michelle Obama is trying to make all children worldwide become fans.

    Lunch Item 2:  Rose Petal Applesauce

    Rich people don’t eat normal apple sauce like you and me.  They have to have things like Gray Poupon, pinky finger extended herbal chai teas from Starbucks and rose petal apple sauce!  Michelle Obama must think it is cute to make us taxpayers pay $60 billion a year for rose petals used to crush up in the governments vats of rose petal apple sauce, because it ads no nutrition value to our kids.  It just makes them used to thinking that it’s normal for a government handout to have rose petals in it.

    Lunch Item 3 + 4 – Carrots and Peas, and Corn 

    3 vegetable entrees slipped into one meal!  If your child was a dainty little deer in the wood, frolicking around and hoping Mr. Big Bad Wolf didn’t try to eat him up and taking little berry sized poop after eating off a bush everything would be fine!  But our kids need to be strong.  The Chinese are building superweapons to send to space and training Olympians to almost beat us out of golden glory!  The Russians, they are rebuilding their Soviet Union.  Our children need to be strong for America’s future, but how can they do that when powered by only the weak gasoline that vegetables give.  They need raw animal oil lubing their heart and keeping those muscles running at maximum capacity.

    And don’t try to tell me corn is fruit, you commies.  “Capricious” is nothing but a term invented by astronomist witches!

    Lunch Item 5 – Zelda’s Lon Lon Milk

    Speaking of witches, there is a ‘fantasy cosplay’ society who calls themselves the Zeldites.  They are like hippies, living in wooded areas, playing pipy instruments and skipping around with hemp clothing of green and being infatuated with fairy fetishes!  It’s all sick and they have an ‘organic’ milk product, made from their cows, called Lon Lon milk.   I haven’t sent in a sample yet for chemical spectral analysis, but I’m betting its full of hallucinogens or raver drugs!

    My friends, this German vomiting virus outbreak is the direct result of Michelle Obama lunches.  It is no coincidence that the day after the kids first all had their first taste of an American lunch, their immune systems were weakened and all the viruses that plague a vegan on a day to day basis have come through strong.


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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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