• Ditka Suffers Stroke, Proof of End Times

    November 17, 2012 8:23 am 11 comments

    Ditka Suffers Stroke, Obama to blameCold and rugged, poised and confident, Mike Ditka and the 1980s Chicago Bears represented the gritty determination of America that stared down stone-cold Soviet communism, and won. It was nothing more than the Bears’ Superbowl Shuffle that tore down the walls separating Nazi-commie Germany from free Germany.

    Mike Ditka was Chuck Norris before Chuck Norris was Chuck Norris. He wore an itchy wool sweater on his bared skin, a childhood memory of fabric that still sends you squirming and scratching. Mike Ditka didn’t wear that sweater to stay warm, either. He loved the cold. He used to go streaking in Antartica, taking time to nurse penguins to health and teabag any polar bear that got to close or ornery, just to keep it honest.

    The tales and exploits of Mike Ditka are too many to appreciate without a proper book series, in all honesty. But today after we learn that our hero Mike Ditka has suffered a stroke, I believe I speak for everyone when we wish this legendary man of toughness a quick, speedy recovery. Long live Da’ Bears.

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    About The Author
    Mike Collins You recognize me from my appearances on shows like Maury and Doc Phil. If you don't like what I'm saying back up off right now because I'm here to speak my mind and teach men how to be men again over their women.

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