• Michelle Obama Forces Hostess to Liquidate Twinkies, File for Bankruptcy

    November 16, 2012 7:58 pm 16 comments

    For generations Twinkies and American children have gone together like rainbow butterflies and Easter happiness. Twinkies are a staple of any healthy childhood for an American child and should be a core component of lunch after a job well done. The sweet, creamy inside is one of the proudest inventions of America’s robust culture.

    So it comes as no surprise that not even a week back into our White House, the Obama clan is doing all they can to destory the most pure and innocent lives in this nation: that of our children. Today, as part of her ‘healthy lunch initiative’ Michelle Obama forced Hostess to liquidate all their Twinkies.

    Now, all Hostess Twinkies are just an outer core of angel’s food cake, with no delicious center. The liquidation process forces the company to melt out all excess fat and leave only a bread of sweetness: without the white, creamy interior, who really wants to buy Hostess Twinkies?

    To relate the magnitude of Obama’s fascist move, let’s relate it to his people. Just imagine opening a box of juicy Kentucky Fried Chickens, to only find that each piece had been prestripped of its crispy, greasy skin. You would surely mourn and cry out “O, Lawdy!” but there would be no salvation for your chicken. It would just be plain old meat and no skin.

    So why Obama has stripped away this great American product, up there in the echelons of American achievement with Yahoo milk and the NASA space program is beyond me. To destroy the core product of Hostess by dictating that they liquidate their Twinkies of the good creamy inside is a sick joke and I for one am not going to take this laying down.

    I have started a petition to ask Obama to bailout Hostess Twinkies and to furthermore undo Michelle Obama’s fascist dictation that they liquidate the creamy goodness from the inside, just to cut back on a few carbs.

    If you have ever enjoyed a Twinkie, I beseech you do the same thing.

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