• New Colorado Marijuana Laws Cause Broncos Quarterback Peyton Manning to Get Munchies, Gain 50 Pound Marijuana Gut

    November 8, 2012 8:32 pm 15 comments

    Denver, CO (Christwire Global) – The ill-effects of marijuana legalization are already being seen in Colorado.  Since Barack Obama legalized the most dangerous drug on Earth, we’ve seen marijuana cause all sorts of crime and horrors in Colorado.

    Of all those stories we will show in a bit, the most troubling right now is the health of Denver Broncos quaterback Peyton Manning.  Only one full day after being legalized, we see Peyton Manning is putting on ‘marijuana gut’.

    While the quarterback is a Christian and does not smoke marijuana, our medical sources reveal he is suffering from Second-hand Marijuana Smoke Disease.

    Second-hand Marijuana Smoke Disease (SMSD) is categorized by an ailment affecting people who do not smoke the illicit Cannabis drug, but instead fall victim to living in proxy to those who do.  This disease is most classically seen in hybrid-wealth apartment complexes, where some tennants are poor degenerates who get housing vouchers and smoke weed all day, while the working class who live in the some buildings must endure the marijuana smoke.

    Over time, studies show that working-class people in such complexes start suffering from Second-hand Marijuana Smoke Disease:  laziness, sassiness, increased melanin in the skin, muscle aches, more prone to pregnancy, urge to steal, coughing and most telling, quick increase in obesity, due to incessant need to eat and drink.

    Marijuana afficianados call the preceding symptoms ‘the buzz and munchies’, but for hardworking people who have never smelt the substance, let alone inhale it, it can destroy their lives, family, health and career.  Peyton Manning looks like he has caught the disease.

    In the image, Manning’s girthy belly looks like every other man who smokes weed.  He is forming love handles and a classic bulge.  You can almost smell the Cheetos, ice cream, cheap store pizza and Doritos and turkey sandwiches spilling off his marijuana tinged breath.  For some reason, these foods seem to be the craving for those suffering from SMSD.  To date, the Colorado CDC reports an 67% increase in people rushing to hospitals, scared that they are dizzy, hallucinating, having sex with random strangers on the street, robbing stories and unable to stop eating:  all 67% of increased patients have had second-hand marijuana smoke detected in their arterial blood gas.

    Just today in Colorado:

     

    [one_third]

    Weedies in Aurora Cause Massive Fire from Bong Malfunction

     

    [/one_third]

     

    [one_third]

    1000s of Young Women Pregnant after Marijuana Orgies in Downtown Denver

     

     

    [/one_third]

     

    [one_third_last]

    Romney Supporters Consider Smoking Weed to Cope With Painful Lose

     

    [/one_third_last]

     

     

    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Amber Vos Savant Amber Vos Savant is an award winning conservative journalist and currently serves as Young Republican coordinator for Romney 2012 in Boston.

    Facebook Conversations